I know it was been a while since I posted, sorry but I have been doing a lot of thinking.
First off, sorry that I have not responded to the many comments that so many of you were kind enough to provide. I will make some general comments and apologize for not responding individually.
First, to those who are encouraging me to talk this out with my wife, I want to I really do but I just haven't found the courage to yet.
For those finding older post and suggesting I should be forced to wear panties and a bra, you are just projecting your sexual fantasies onto my situation. In some ways, I am OK with that, but I also realize it is just fantasy and not relevant to what is really happening with me.
For those who are making comments that I got what I deserved I have to admit I do feel a little like I got what I deserved. It pains me every time I think about that spanking and how I cried, but I realize I freaked her out. She was scared and angry and I realize how selfish I was, but that said, there was another comment as to what would happen if it was me that did that to her.
While I was not brave enough to talk to my wife about this I am sorry to say that I did reach out to a lawyer anonymously, not my friend, I called one from a phone book ad. Even speaking anonymously, I was really nervous but managed to squeak out the story and asked if I wanted to, and I was not saying I did, could I bring my wife up on assault charges.
First, he told told me he specialized in criminal defense and not prosecution, but here is what he said. By the letter of the law she could be arrested and charged with domestic violence.
He did warn me that as a defense attorney, he would make the case that this was consensual sex play. He said if she punched me, kicked me, hit me with a two by four across the head it would clear she was assaulting me. But if the only thing she ever did was hit me with a belt on my buttocks, I would have a very hard time of finding a jury who would believe that a man would submit to a spanking from his wife if it was not consensual. He apologized (I guess implying I was a wimp) but said if I really didn't want to be hit by her I needed to leave the house the next time she tried it. If she tried to stop me I should call the police, but under no circumstances should I hit her or even push her. He said unfortunately while the law did acknowledge that men could be abused by their wives, if there is any doubt as to who the aggressor was, police tend to assume it was the man. If hey show up and there are any injuries on her, even if my buttocks was bruised, I would probably be the one to take the ride. I thanked him and hung up the phone wondering what he must have thought of me. He was serious and professional on the phone, but I am sure I am the talk of the water cooler now.
I don't want my wife arrested but the reality that I probably could not make the case if I wanted to makes me realize the predicament I am in. I am not sure anyone would believe this is anything other than consensual sex play.
I have to get up the nerve to talk to my wife. Somehow if I found out she was doing this for sexual pleasure I think I could accept that. I am afraid to ask as I am not sure how I would feel if she really just thought she had the right to treat me as a child.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Happy New Year
I say happy new year because it is tradition, but so far the new year is not happy.
Last week I got the worst spanking of my marriage. It really left me thinking a lot and while this forum is hardly a good therapist I wanted to get some feedback.
This was December 27 I was at work and our boss was going to give us all off until January 2nd to celebrate New years in exchange for working late Friday to make sure all the orders got out before the close of the fiscal year. I called my wife to tell her I was working late. She was disappointed as we had plans for the evening, but understood that work comes first. I didn't know how long we would be so I couldn't tell her when to expect me. Well it only took us an hour to get all the work done and we were all so happy it didn't take that long so the rest of the team decided to stop by for a drink before heading home. Now I don't "drink" but thought I should stop for a Coke to celebrate our successful year. So three hours later I head home and as soon as I walk in the door my wife jumps off the couch and starts yelling at me.
"Where have you been?"
"Working"
"I called the office two hours ago to ask you if you wanted me to save your dinner of if you were going to eat at the office. Your boss answered and said he just sent the team home and apologized to me for keeping you late. I assumed you were on your way home and made dinner for us. When you didn't come home in 20 minutes I started to get worried. When you were not here an hour later I really started freaking out. Why didn't you answer your cell phone, I thought you got killed in some accident you jerk."
I noticed that all though she was mad, she had watery eyes. I realized what a jerk I had been and explained that I stopped by for a Coke with the team and I just considered it part of the "job" as bonding with co-workers is important. My cell phone battery had died so I couldn't call her. She agreed in theory, but then told me I should have called and told her even if I had to borrow a phone. I realized of course she was right, but she then ordered me up to the guest room and that is when I realized I was in for a spanking. I felt so bad, that I didn't argue with her, but I new she was really upset as I was being sent to the guest room and not our bedroom where the spanking usually take place. I was afraid I was going to be sleeping alone tonight.
When she came into the room she had a thick leather belt I had never seen before. She ordered me to take my pants off which I did, but that was a change from my usual spankings where I just have to take my pants down to my knees. I stood before her in my white briefs and t-shirt feeling like a little boy as I stared at the belt folded over in her hand. I can tell you my penis was shriveled up to less than an inch and there was nothing sexual about this for me and looking at her still watery eyes I don't think there was for her.
She ordered me to lay down on the bed, again a change as she usually has me lay over her knee. I laid down on the bed and she ordered me to put my head down. She then pulled my briefs all the way down and off and pulled my t-shirt up to my shoulder blades. All changes from a normal spanking. She then explained to me as best as I can remember it, "This has been the most irresponsible thing you have ever done since we were married. I am going to tan your backside good. I want you to think about how scarred I was while you were out there enjoying your Coke.
And then it started, right from the first stroke it stung worse than I would have imagined. I yelled and turned over in reflex, but quickly laid back down knowing how upset she was. Again the belt came down quickly before I could even calm down. This time I bucked my rear up but quickly laid back down. And that is how the spanking went. She hit, I tried my best to stay still but I couldn't help it every stoke caused a reflex that I either turned, put my hand back, put my legs up or some other reaction, but I tried to end the spanking as quickly as I could by getting back into position as fast as I could, but it just seemed to continue. I thought it would never end and after one particularly solid shot, it happened, I jumped up faced my wife and begged her to please stop as the moisture that was building in my eyes began to flow down my cheeks. If this was a sexual thing and I had a safe word I would have used it at this point. I looked at her pleading for her to stop and when she looked back at me, her voice creaking and a little teary herself she just calmly replied, sorry, we are not done yet, lay back down.
The words scared me, I had no idea how long she planned on spanking me I was truly shaking with fear again I begged as I started crying real tears at this point, she was making me really cry. I don't know why I was crying. Certainly the pain, but something was wrong with me. I didn't want the spanking to continue. I was a grown man and I could have got up and walked out the door, but instead I was pleading with her to stop and when she wouldn't I felt I had not choice but to lay back down and take it some more. I felt so ashamed at myself for not being a man. As the belt came back down, the ritual continued with me bucking and squirming under the belt, the only difference is I was now bawling like a child. Crying I was actually crying and I felt so ashamed of myself but something inside me felt compelled to continue to lay there as best I could. I laid there loudly crying into the pillow before I realized that the spanking had finally stopped. I cried for a few minutes and then it subsided into sobbing. I wasn't sure if she was even still behind me and finally turned around to look. She was sitting on a chair and she had tears running down her cheeks When she saw me looking at her she quickly looked away and wiped them away. She stood up and faced the door and said to me in a creaky voice, "This better be the last time I need to spank you for any reason. I want you to sleep in the guest room. We will get past this, but for now I want to be alone. I will see you in the morning."
So I slept in the guest room that night, on my stomach with no pants on. In the morning I woke and quickly looked at the damage she caused. It was red, very red, there was a few bruises but my bottom was not as badly damaged as I had imagined it, with blood pouring out of it and skin blistered. In fact it made me a little embarrassed that I cried so much I think my ego needed to see skin hanging off to justify my crying. I realized in the morning the crying was as much a part of how I damaged the relation with my wife than about the actual pain in my backside.
Anyway, things are slowly getting back to normal, but she is still upset over this whole thing. She sent me to bed early on New Year's eve even though we had company over. She made an excuse that I was not feeling well (some truth to that) Our guests offered to leave but we insisted they stay and not let me ruin their party. My wife started walking upstairs with me and just when I though she was putting me in the guest room (which I had spent the last few night in) she led me to our bedroom. She asked me to take my pants off and lay down on my stomach. I panicked thinking she was going to spank me again with the guests in the house and I immediately started tearing up and begging her not to. She just told me to do it so I did. I laid down and she pulled my briefs down and off again and I started crying thinking about the spanking to come with our friends down stairs. I flinched when I felt her hand gently rubbing across my backside. It was then I realized that this was probably the first time she had seen the damage she had done. As I realized I was not in for another spanking my cries quickly subsided and I wiped the tears from my eyes. She stood up and then said, tomorrow is a new year. We will discuss this no more, but I want you to remember this spanking the next time your thinking of doing something so selfish and stupid. She kissed me the cheek wished me happy new year and went downstairs. I laid on my stomach still pants-less, not sure if I was allowed to put my PJs on. I couldn't sleep so I laid there almost all night finally falling asleep after midnight. I woke early and my wife is still sleeping. I am taking this time to write this story figuring it will be a while before she wakes up.
Anyway, thanks to anyone who took the time to read this. I certainly have a lot of thinking to do and while I realize that I will be getting comments from people who get off on this kind of stuff, that's fine with me. If you want to jerk off to this story that doesn't bother me, but I can tell you, I have some soul searching to do. I am not sure I want my wife to have this kind of power over me. When I think about how I cried last night on just the thought that she was going to spank me I realized I was no longer a man. Yes it is a new year but I am not sure what it will bring. I don't know if I can take another spanking like I did last week.
Last week I got the worst spanking of my marriage. It really left me thinking a lot and while this forum is hardly a good therapist I wanted to get some feedback.
This was December 27 I was at work and our boss was going to give us all off until January 2nd to celebrate New years in exchange for working late Friday to make sure all the orders got out before the close of the fiscal year. I called my wife to tell her I was working late. She was disappointed as we had plans for the evening, but understood that work comes first. I didn't know how long we would be so I couldn't tell her when to expect me. Well it only took us an hour to get all the work done and we were all so happy it didn't take that long so the rest of the team decided to stop by for a drink before heading home. Now I don't "drink" but thought I should stop for a Coke to celebrate our successful year. So three hours later I head home and as soon as I walk in the door my wife jumps off the couch and starts yelling at me.
"Where have you been?"
"Working"
"I called the office two hours ago to ask you if you wanted me to save your dinner of if you were going to eat at the office. Your boss answered and said he just sent the team home and apologized to me for keeping you late. I assumed you were on your way home and made dinner for us. When you didn't come home in 20 minutes I started to get worried. When you were not here an hour later I really started freaking out. Why didn't you answer your cell phone, I thought you got killed in some accident you jerk."
I noticed that all though she was mad, she had watery eyes. I realized what a jerk I had been and explained that I stopped by for a Coke with the team and I just considered it part of the "job" as bonding with co-workers is important. My cell phone battery had died so I couldn't call her. She agreed in theory, but then told me I should have called and told her even if I had to borrow a phone. I realized of course she was right, but she then ordered me up to the guest room and that is when I realized I was in for a spanking. I felt so bad, that I didn't argue with her, but I new she was really upset as I was being sent to the guest room and not our bedroom where the spanking usually take place. I was afraid I was going to be sleeping alone tonight.
When she came into the room she had a thick leather belt I had never seen before. She ordered me to take my pants off which I did, but that was a change from my usual spankings where I just have to take my pants down to my knees. I stood before her in my white briefs and t-shirt feeling like a little boy as I stared at the belt folded over in her hand. I can tell you my penis was shriveled up to less than an inch and there was nothing sexual about this for me and looking at her still watery eyes I don't think there was for her.
She ordered me to lay down on the bed, again a change as she usually has me lay over her knee. I laid down on the bed and she ordered me to put my head down. She then pulled my briefs all the way down and off and pulled my t-shirt up to my shoulder blades. All changes from a normal spanking. She then explained to me as best as I can remember it, "This has been the most irresponsible thing you have ever done since we were married. I am going to tan your backside good. I want you to think about how scarred I was while you were out there enjoying your Coke.
And then it started, right from the first stroke it stung worse than I would have imagined. I yelled and turned over in reflex, but quickly laid back down knowing how upset she was. Again the belt came down quickly before I could even calm down. This time I bucked my rear up but quickly laid back down. And that is how the spanking went. She hit, I tried my best to stay still but I couldn't help it every stoke caused a reflex that I either turned, put my hand back, put my legs up or some other reaction, but I tried to end the spanking as quickly as I could by getting back into position as fast as I could, but it just seemed to continue. I thought it would never end and after one particularly solid shot, it happened, I jumped up faced my wife and begged her to please stop as the moisture that was building in my eyes began to flow down my cheeks. If this was a sexual thing and I had a safe word I would have used it at this point. I looked at her pleading for her to stop and when she looked back at me, her voice creaking and a little teary herself she just calmly replied, sorry, we are not done yet, lay back down.
The words scared me, I had no idea how long she planned on spanking me I was truly shaking with fear again I begged as I started crying real tears at this point, she was making me really cry. I don't know why I was crying. Certainly the pain, but something was wrong with me. I didn't want the spanking to continue. I was a grown man and I could have got up and walked out the door, but instead I was pleading with her to stop and when she wouldn't I felt I had not choice but to lay back down and take it some more. I felt so ashamed at myself for not being a man. As the belt came back down, the ritual continued with me bucking and squirming under the belt, the only difference is I was now bawling like a child. Crying I was actually crying and I felt so ashamed of myself but something inside me felt compelled to continue to lay there as best I could. I laid there loudly crying into the pillow before I realized that the spanking had finally stopped. I cried for a few minutes and then it subsided into sobbing. I wasn't sure if she was even still behind me and finally turned around to look. She was sitting on a chair and she had tears running down her cheeks When she saw me looking at her she quickly looked away and wiped them away. She stood up and faced the door and said to me in a creaky voice, "This better be the last time I need to spank you for any reason. I want you to sleep in the guest room. We will get past this, but for now I want to be alone. I will see you in the morning."
So I slept in the guest room that night, on my stomach with no pants on. In the morning I woke and quickly looked at the damage she caused. It was red, very red, there was a few bruises but my bottom was not as badly damaged as I had imagined it, with blood pouring out of it and skin blistered. In fact it made me a little embarrassed that I cried so much I think my ego needed to see skin hanging off to justify my crying. I realized in the morning the crying was as much a part of how I damaged the relation with my wife than about the actual pain in my backside.
Anyway, things are slowly getting back to normal, but she is still upset over this whole thing. She sent me to bed early on New Year's eve even though we had company over. She made an excuse that I was not feeling well (some truth to that) Our guests offered to leave but we insisted they stay and not let me ruin their party. My wife started walking upstairs with me and just when I though she was putting me in the guest room (which I had spent the last few night in) she led me to our bedroom. She asked me to take my pants off and lay down on my stomach. I panicked thinking she was going to spank me again with the guests in the house and I immediately started tearing up and begging her not to. She just told me to do it so I did. I laid down and she pulled my briefs down and off again and I started crying thinking about the spanking to come with our friends down stairs. I flinched when I felt her hand gently rubbing across my backside. It was then I realized that this was probably the first time she had seen the damage she had done. As I realized I was not in for another spanking my cries quickly subsided and I wiped the tears from my eyes. She stood up and then said, tomorrow is a new year. We will discuss this no more, but I want you to remember this spanking the next time your thinking of doing something so selfish and stupid. She kissed me the cheek wished me happy new year and went downstairs. I laid on my stomach still pants-less, not sure if I was allowed to put my PJs on. I couldn't sleep so I laid there almost all night finally falling asleep after midnight. I woke early and my wife is still sleeping. I am taking this time to write this story figuring it will be a while before she wakes up.
Anyway, thanks to anyone who took the time to read this. I certainly have a lot of thinking to do and while I realize that I will be getting comments from people who get off on this kind of stuff, that's fine with me. If you want to jerk off to this story that doesn't bother me, but I can tell you, I have some soul searching to do. I am not sure I want my wife to have this kind of power over me. When I think about how I cried last night on just the thought that she was going to spank me I realized I was no longer a man. Yes it is a new year but I am not sure what it will bring. I don't know if I can take another spanking like I did last week.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Implied Consent
I know I started this blog to answer one very important question. Am I in an abusive relationship?
The question really boils down to is this a consensual relationship?
Many of you were generous enough to provide comments and I did read all the comments and there seems to be a question of did I imply my consent? That is a good question.
As I have pondered the comments (and thanks to everyone who comments, you definitely make this blog a lot more interesting than I could myself) I realize that I myself am not sure of the answer so there is no way anyone reading the blog can know (mind reader or not)
I was speaking with a friend of mine who was a lawyer about a burglary near us that had us all concerned. I incorrectly said "so and so's place was 'robbed'" and he corrected me and said, no robbery is the unlawful taking of property by 'force'. He then explained that larceny was the unlawful taking of property without force and that burglary was unlawfully entering a premise for the purpose of committing a crime (at least where I live, laws may vary where you are) where almost 99% of the time that crime is larceny. I found the discussion fascinating and figured this play on words is why lawyers make the big bucks. Anyway I became fascinated with the legalese and we continued discussing various scenarios when I presented the following scenario, "so I am walking down the street and someone comes up to me and says, 'give me your wallet' and I give him my wallet. Did he commit a crime?"
He replied, "probably, why did you give him your wallet?"
"Well, I guess its because I was unsure what he would do if I didn't give it to him. So I guess he committed larceny then?"
"No," he replied., "its robbery. Or at least that's what I would charge him with as a prosecutor. Of course the defense would try to argue out of it, but I could make the case for robbery."
"But he didn't use force?"
"Legally, the threat of force is all that is needed for a robbery. The actual use of that force would be a separate charge. If I came at you with a knife and said, 'give me your wallet' and you did that is robbery. If I then stabbed you, that would be assault with a deadly weapon. If I actually killed you that would be murder. That's the way the law works. As a prosecutor I would actually charge you will all 3 plus possession of a deadly weapon, possession of stolen property, speeding, jaywalking and anything else I can think of."
I was fascinated by all this and kind of wish I became a lawyer. Its not that I am not smart enough, its just that I didn't have the time and money for law school and not all lawyers make the big bucks so you may not make it all back. My friend does well but as an Assistant DA he is not rolling in the dough either.
Anyway, I got to thinking about the robbery example. The threat of force is the same as force. So I went back to my example. "so if the robber didn't actually display a knife or make a threat how is that robbery?"
"Simple, you stated you were concerned by what he would do if you didn't give him your wallet. Even if he never made a threat, a reasonable person would assume that force would have been used had they not surrendered their wallet. My job as a prosecutor would be to convince a jury that the threat of force was used. The defense of course will try to convince the jury that he merely asked you for it and you surrendered it of your own free will out of the goodness of your heart. I actually had a case where the defense tried this trick and it didn't work. I got a conviction. Of course it helped that the guy was 6 foot and full of muscle and he seemed to only ask 100 pound weaklings and women. Too bad the last woman he asked was a cop. She produced her wallet for him and when he saw her badge he ran. Perhaps that is the real reason I got the conviction. True story."
OK, I know that many of you are following my blog because they like to read about a gown man being pulled over his wife's knees and being spanked on his bare bottom and are disappointed that I am not providing any wanking material for you ( it doesn't bother me if you "like" my stories in that way) , sorry, but all these things get me thinking.
Is my wife using force in a legal sense. I have admitted that I have not completely resisted as I am not sure exactly what would happen if I did. There is hardly any physical force other than the actual spanking itself and the pushing and pulling. The question I ask myself is what would happen if I was to simply not comply and tell her to get lost. I don't know and I am afraid to really find out. What force if any would she use? Would she simply just give up and they would end? While I would love to ask my lawyer friend (but I would never dare) if I can charge my wife with assault, I am not sure I want to, but I am curious. I don't want to get my wife in trouble but I am sure that if I actually made a complaint that my wife was spanking me without my consent I would have a hard time proving that this was anything other than sex play. I have searched high and low and so far I have not found a single credible story of a wife being charged with assault for spanking her husband. Oh sure, wifes punching kicking stabbing, there are plenty of stories like that. If my wife kicked me and I made a complaint to the police I am sure they would arrest her and believe me, but what would happen if I were to call the police to complain that my wife is spanking me? Would they laugh at me and tell me to just shut up and enjoy it? I know a lot of people enjoy being spanked so they assume that I would enjoy it to. Like I said, I have never heard of a story of a women being arrested for spanking her husband. Is this because I haven't found it yet or is it because no man would be willing to sign a complaint that he is being spanked? I know I am too scared to make a complaint and admit I was spanked. Even if I wasn't too embarrassed to make a complaint, I don't want my wife arrested. I love her. So she is spanking me and I am afraid not to submit. Is that implied consent? If I felt the same way and she took my wallet, then according to my friend that would be robbery.
I remain confused as ever.
The question really boils down to is this a consensual relationship?
Many of you were generous enough to provide comments and I did read all the comments and there seems to be a question of did I imply my consent? That is a good question.
As I have pondered the comments (and thanks to everyone who comments, you definitely make this blog a lot more interesting than I could myself) I realize that I myself am not sure of the answer so there is no way anyone reading the blog can know (mind reader or not)
I was speaking with a friend of mine who was a lawyer about a burglary near us that had us all concerned. I incorrectly said "so and so's place was 'robbed'" and he corrected me and said, no robbery is the unlawful taking of property by 'force'. He then explained that larceny was the unlawful taking of property without force and that burglary was unlawfully entering a premise for the purpose of committing a crime (at least where I live, laws may vary where you are) where almost 99% of the time that crime is larceny. I found the discussion fascinating and figured this play on words is why lawyers make the big bucks. Anyway I became fascinated with the legalese and we continued discussing various scenarios when I presented the following scenario, "so I am walking down the street and someone comes up to me and says, 'give me your wallet' and I give him my wallet. Did he commit a crime?"
He replied, "probably, why did you give him your wallet?"
"Well, I guess its because I was unsure what he would do if I didn't give it to him. So I guess he committed larceny then?"
"No," he replied., "its robbery. Or at least that's what I would charge him with as a prosecutor. Of course the defense would try to argue out of it, but I could make the case for robbery."
"But he didn't use force?"
"Legally, the threat of force is all that is needed for a robbery. The actual use of that force would be a separate charge. If I came at you with a knife and said, 'give me your wallet' and you did that is robbery. If I then stabbed you, that would be assault with a deadly weapon. If I actually killed you that would be murder. That's the way the law works. As a prosecutor I would actually charge you will all 3 plus possession of a deadly weapon, possession of stolen property, speeding, jaywalking and anything else I can think of."
I was fascinated by all this and kind of wish I became a lawyer. Its not that I am not smart enough, its just that I didn't have the time and money for law school and not all lawyers make the big bucks so you may not make it all back. My friend does well but as an Assistant DA he is not rolling in the dough either.
Anyway, I got to thinking about the robbery example. The threat of force is the same as force. So I went back to my example. "so if the robber didn't actually display a knife or make a threat how is that robbery?"
"Simple, you stated you were concerned by what he would do if you didn't give him your wallet. Even if he never made a threat, a reasonable person would assume that force would have been used had they not surrendered their wallet. My job as a prosecutor would be to convince a jury that the threat of force was used. The defense of course will try to convince the jury that he merely asked you for it and you surrendered it of your own free will out of the goodness of your heart. I actually had a case where the defense tried this trick and it didn't work. I got a conviction. Of course it helped that the guy was 6 foot and full of muscle and he seemed to only ask 100 pound weaklings and women. Too bad the last woman he asked was a cop. She produced her wallet for him and when he saw her badge he ran. Perhaps that is the real reason I got the conviction. True story."
OK, I know that many of you are following my blog because they like to read about a gown man being pulled over his wife's knees and being spanked on his bare bottom and are disappointed that I am not providing any wanking material for you ( it doesn't bother me if you "like" my stories in that way) , sorry, but all these things get me thinking.
Is my wife using force in a legal sense. I have admitted that I have not completely resisted as I am not sure exactly what would happen if I did. There is hardly any physical force other than the actual spanking itself and the pushing and pulling. The question I ask myself is what would happen if I was to simply not comply and tell her to get lost. I don't know and I am afraid to really find out. What force if any would she use? Would she simply just give up and they would end? While I would love to ask my lawyer friend (but I would never dare) if I can charge my wife with assault, I am not sure I want to, but I am curious. I don't want to get my wife in trouble but I am sure that if I actually made a complaint that my wife was spanking me without my consent I would have a hard time proving that this was anything other than sex play. I have searched high and low and so far I have not found a single credible story of a wife being charged with assault for spanking her husband. Oh sure, wifes punching kicking stabbing, there are plenty of stories like that. If my wife kicked me and I made a complaint to the police I am sure they would arrest her and believe me, but what would happen if I were to call the police to complain that my wife is spanking me? Would they laugh at me and tell me to just shut up and enjoy it? I know a lot of people enjoy being spanked so they assume that I would enjoy it to. Like I said, I have never heard of a story of a women being arrested for spanking her husband. Is this because I haven't found it yet or is it because no man would be willing to sign a complaint that he is being spanked? I know I am too scared to make a complaint and admit I was spanked. Even if I wasn't too embarrassed to make a complaint, I don't want my wife arrested. I love her. So she is spanking me and I am afraid not to submit. Is that implied consent? If I felt the same way and she took my wallet, then according to my friend that would be robbery.
I remain confused as ever.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
My First Spanking Part 2
First off, sorry for the delay. I did not mean for my last post to be a cliff hanger, but I just got busy and I needed to make sure I did not shirk my responsibilities. This is a very busy time of the year both at work and at home and I can't guarantee there won't be a long delay between this post and my next, but thanks for everyone's patience.
So when I last posted, I had just gotten to the point in the story where my wife had announced her intentions to spank me and was ordering me upstairs to the bedroom and I had refused.
I stood there and she was tightly gripping my upper arm. I was totally confused and could not believe this was happening to me. We had been married about 4 months now and while she certainly had "punished" me in other ways other than spanking me while we were dating, I had assumed those were tests being conducted as part of the dating ritual and I had fully expected them to end when we got married just like the sexual teasing and restriction seemed to end when we got married.
"I am your husband, not your child. This is not how mature couples solve their problems.", I replied, pretty much indicating that I was not going to play her game. I fact I followed up with, "if this is some sexual fantasy of yours, I don't want to participate." I thought that would end the conversation. I really thought that she was simply playing a game and it was a game I had no interest in playing.
To my surprise, she gripped my arm tighter and pulled me closer to her then looked me in the eye, "This is not a game. I get no gratification from doing this sexually or otherwise, but you need to understand something. You are indeed my husband and that means that your actions no longer effect just you. If you make a commitment to me and you fail in that commitment at the very least you should be apologetic and be trying to figure out how to make amends. Instead, you stood there making excuses, telling me to chill out and telling me it is no big deal that you had more important things to do then meet your responsibilities. Yes, you are my husband, but you sometimes act like an immature child. I do not want a husband who acts like an immature child. To help you understand how serious I am I am going to spank you and I will spank you every time you act like a child. That is they way it is going to be."
The lecture she delivered was calm and measure. She was not yelling or freaking out. I think it was her appearance of total control that had me most intimidated. I stood there slightly trembling now and starting to feel like I was losing control. I really did not want to be spanked by her. I replayed her argument over in my head, but the scary thing was that I could not think of a logical response to her other than to reiterate what I had already said. So I gulped hard and said, "and if I refuse to let you spank me?"
She looked down ever so slightly and in an almost hushed tone as if she really didn't want to say it, "Like I said, I do not want a husband who acts like an immature child."
The implication was clear, even if it was not spoken. I could have pulled away and told her to fuck off, but I didn't . I could have just laughed and said, 'well I am who I am, love me or leave me.' or reminded her that she married me 'for better or worse' and that while not perfect, I certainly tried to be a better husband than a lot of the other jerks out there. Forgetting something, even something important was not the same as cheating on her or treating her like dirt. These were all valid points and I should have made them, but as I tossed these thoughts around in my head I kept coming back to her central theme. It was not what I did, but the attitude I had about it. I make mistakes, she makes mistakes. When she makes mistakes she takes responsibility for them and tries to fix them. When I make mistakes, I blame others, sometimes even blaming her. That was the difference. That was what she was really accusing me of when she was saying I was acting like a child. Still I did not want to be spanked, but I did begin to feel a little inferior to her as these thoughts entered into my head.
My tone became more apologetic. "Look honey, I know I screwed up but I really don't think I should be spanked. After all I am a grown man."
At that, she began to pull me towards the stairs again. It was then that I realized that she was stronger than me. She may not have been strong enough to pick me up and carry me up the stairs, but she was strong enough to over come my passive resistance and pull me towards the stairs. When we reached the stairs, she began to pull me up the stairs and I lessened my resistance in pulling back afraid of pulling us both down the stairs. I figured I would continue the fight once we were on level ground in the bedroom.
Once we got into the bedroom she pushed me into the room and shut the door behind us. She stood by the door hands on her hips looking very stern and serious. I was confused and unsure of myself and my heart was beating in my chest, again as the reality of the situation began to sink in. At this point a few things became clear to me. She was intent on spanking me. For whatever reason she felt that the only way to resolve this conflict was to spank me. I really did not want to be spanked. This was not the same as the "grounding" that I suffered while we were still dating. For one thing, she was not my wife at that point and I have to admit, that fear of losing her motivated me to play along with her. This was different. We were married now and we are supposed to be equals. I did not want to be treated like a child by her no matter how I acted. Because a part of me did secretly acknowledge that I did screw this up I was reluctant to take s stand and put my foot down. It is hard to be assertive when you are fundamentally in the wrong, so I appealed to her intellect and suggested other ways for me to make amends for my screw up.
I suggested that I work some extra jobs on the weekend to earn some money to pay the penalty on the taxes, she replied, "I am glad you are starting to show some responsibility for you actions, but this is not about money. I married you for richer or poorer. This is about you being immature and irresponsible. You are finally stepping up to the plate too late because I am forcing you to face the consequences of acting like a child. I am going to subject you to a child's punishment because you acted like a child. I am really glad to see you find the prospect of being spanked to be upsetting because it will be more effective this way. You are going to be spanked and there is little you can do to get out of it. I am sorry it had to come to this, but hopefully you will learn your lesson and remember this day and grow up so we don't have to do this again. Now", she paused, "pull your pants down."
The lecture was delivered with calm precision and I found the clarity of her thoughts put me off guard. It was clear that while my thoughts were bouncing a million different places at once, she was in total control of her thoughts and ideals. She said there was "little" I could do to avoid the spanking which implied that there was indeed "something" that could be done, but the only idea that came into my head was to physically fight her and hurt her and in spite of my unwillingness to submit to a spanking, that was a step I was unwilling to take so I resorted to the only remaining option that I could conceive of. I began to beg her not to spank me.
"Please honey, don't spank me." I heard myself saying. "I get it, I will grow up and be a better husband, just please don't spank me like a child."
She slowly moved towards me, again, in total control of her thoughts and emotions. she reached for my belt. My hands flew to stop her and I pulled back, but she anticipated the move and shoved her hands into the top of my jeans to gain leverage and pulled me back towards her. She looked me in the eye and simply asked, "do you want to pull down your own pants or shall I continue to undress you?"
"Neither." I replied, "I don't want to be spanked.", but before I could even finished the sentence she was already working at the belt again. "Come on honey, don't do this." I begged my hands wrapped around her wrists trying to stop her from working my belt open, but in-spite of my resistance, she had unbuckled my belt and was working on the button and zipper. I tied to crouch over and pull my hips back and away from her while at the same time push her hands away, my hands still wrapped around her wrists. She was surprisingly strong and I was unable to push her hands away and she quickly pulled her hands upwards, out then down so fast that she broke free from my grip, again grabbed the tops of my jeans at either side and pulled me closer to her. "Stop the squirming of I will punish you for that as well." and before I could react again she had my zipper down and was tugging the pants down to my knees. Again I tried to pull back but I stumbled, the pants now restricting my movements and as I lost balance I felt her strong hands supporting me and pulling me forward as she backed up to sit on the edge of the bed. She pulled me over her knees and before I knew it she had me pants down at my knees over her knee and my tighty whitey clad backside exposed to her. It was at this point that my heart began to race and the confusion of thought changed to the realization that it had happened. I was about to be spanked and there was little I could do at this point to avoid it. I tried to reach back, stand back up squirm sideways to slide off her lap, but her grip was much stronger than I would have expected and each move only reminded my how helpless I really was at this point.
She gripped me tight with her left hand and I felt her right hand tugging down my briefs. "No honey, please don't do this to me, don't spank me. I get it I get it, please don't do this STOP!"
But my pleading fell on deaf ears and my undies were soon at my knees. Than without warning CRACK!. I felt a sudden and sharp sting across my bottom that was clearly not her hand. I yelped out in pain and was just about to ask what she hit me with when WHACK! it came down again. I tried to strain and turn to see what she was hitting me with then WHACK, it came down again> I finally caught a glimpse of the large wooden hairbrush. I don't know when she placed it on the bed but there is was WHACK, I couldn't believe how much it hurt. I was being spanked, really spanked, like a child WHACK. I winced in pain and let out some whimpers and groans and even felt my eyes watering up but I wouldn't say that I was crying. I kicked, bucked and writhed beneath her grip unable to break free trying to avoid the spanking but each time WHACK, the hairbrush came down and made made contact with my tender bottom and all thoughts of resistance left me. There was no escape and the spanking continued. WHACK, WHACK WHACK. It was a sensation that was difficult to describe. The sting was unique and it spread across my whole bottom and sent shivers up my spine and down my legs, even tough she only concentrated on my bottom. Just when I thought I was going to lose it and start crying for real. It stopped.
I laid across her lap not making a move. The pain was there, it was real. This was indeed a real spanking, but as the burning in my bottom began to settle down to a dull ache now that the spanking stopper, the realization that I was a grown man laying over my wife's knees, pants and undies now at my ankles having slipped down as a result of my spanking began to invade my thoughts.
I had been spanked. Spanked like a child. Water in my eyes on the verge of tears. It would be a spanking I would never. It was not my first spanking, but it had been the first spanking I have had since I was 12 and in some ways it was the worst spanking I had ever received, but it was not to be my last.
So when I last posted, I had just gotten to the point in the story where my wife had announced her intentions to spank me and was ordering me upstairs to the bedroom and I had refused.
I stood there and she was tightly gripping my upper arm. I was totally confused and could not believe this was happening to me. We had been married about 4 months now and while she certainly had "punished" me in other ways other than spanking me while we were dating, I had assumed those were tests being conducted as part of the dating ritual and I had fully expected them to end when we got married just like the sexual teasing and restriction seemed to end when we got married.
"I am your husband, not your child. This is not how mature couples solve their problems.", I replied, pretty much indicating that I was not going to play her game. I fact I followed up with, "if this is some sexual fantasy of yours, I don't want to participate." I thought that would end the conversation. I really thought that she was simply playing a game and it was a game I had no interest in playing.
To my surprise, she gripped my arm tighter and pulled me closer to her then looked me in the eye, "This is not a game. I get no gratification from doing this sexually or otherwise, but you need to understand something. You are indeed my husband and that means that your actions no longer effect just you. If you make a commitment to me and you fail in that commitment at the very least you should be apologetic and be trying to figure out how to make amends. Instead, you stood there making excuses, telling me to chill out and telling me it is no big deal that you had more important things to do then meet your responsibilities. Yes, you are my husband, but you sometimes act like an immature child. I do not want a husband who acts like an immature child. To help you understand how serious I am I am going to spank you and I will spank you every time you act like a child. That is they way it is going to be."
The lecture she delivered was calm and measure. She was not yelling or freaking out. I think it was her appearance of total control that had me most intimidated. I stood there slightly trembling now and starting to feel like I was losing control. I really did not want to be spanked by her. I replayed her argument over in my head, but the scary thing was that I could not think of a logical response to her other than to reiterate what I had already said. So I gulped hard and said, "and if I refuse to let you spank me?"
She looked down ever so slightly and in an almost hushed tone as if she really didn't want to say it, "Like I said, I do not want a husband who acts like an immature child."
The implication was clear, even if it was not spoken. I could have pulled away and told her to fuck off, but I didn't . I could have just laughed and said, 'well I am who I am, love me or leave me.' or reminded her that she married me 'for better or worse' and that while not perfect, I certainly tried to be a better husband than a lot of the other jerks out there. Forgetting something, even something important was not the same as cheating on her or treating her like dirt. These were all valid points and I should have made them, but as I tossed these thoughts around in my head I kept coming back to her central theme. It was not what I did, but the attitude I had about it. I make mistakes, she makes mistakes. When she makes mistakes she takes responsibility for them and tries to fix them. When I make mistakes, I blame others, sometimes even blaming her. That was the difference. That was what she was really accusing me of when she was saying I was acting like a child. Still I did not want to be spanked, but I did begin to feel a little inferior to her as these thoughts entered into my head.
My tone became more apologetic. "Look honey, I know I screwed up but I really don't think I should be spanked. After all I am a grown man."
At that, she began to pull me towards the stairs again. It was then that I realized that she was stronger than me. She may not have been strong enough to pick me up and carry me up the stairs, but she was strong enough to over come my passive resistance and pull me towards the stairs. When we reached the stairs, she began to pull me up the stairs and I lessened my resistance in pulling back afraid of pulling us both down the stairs. I figured I would continue the fight once we were on level ground in the bedroom.
Once we got into the bedroom she pushed me into the room and shut the door behind us. She stood by the door hands on her hips looking very stern and serious. I was confused and unsure of myself and my heart was beating in my chest, again as the reality of the situation began to sink in. At this point a few things became clear to me. She was intent on spanking me. For whatever reason she felt that the only way to resolve this conflict was to spank me. I really did not want to be spanked. This was not the same as the "grounding" that I suffered while we were still dating. For one thing, she was not my wife at that point and I have to admit, that fear of losing her motivated me to play along with her. This was different. We were married now and we are supposed to be equals. I did not want to be treated like a child by her no matter how I acted. Because a part of me did secretly acknowledge that I did screw this up I was reluctant to take s stand and put my foot down. It is hard to be assertive when you are fundamentally in the wrong, so I appealed to her intellect and suggested other ways for me to make amends for my screw up.
I suggested that I work some extra jobs on the weekend to earn some money to pay the penalty on the taxes, she replied, "I am glad you are starting to show some responsibility for you actions, but this is not about money. I married you for richer or poorer. This is about you being immature and irresponsible. You are finally stepping up to the plate too late because I am forcing you to face the consequences of acting like a child. I am going to subject you to a child's punishment because you acted like a child. I am really glad to see you find the prospect of being spanked to be upsetting because it will be more effective this way. You are going to be spanked and there is little you can do to get out of it. I am sorry it had to come to this, but hopefully you will learn your lesson and remember this day and grow up so we don't have to do this again. Now", she paused, "pull your pants down."
The lecture was delivered with calm precision and I found the clarity of her thoughts put me off guard. It was clear that while my thoughts were bouncing a million different places at once, she was in total control of her thoughts and ideals. She said there was "little" I could do to avoid the spanking which implied that there was indeed "something" that could be done, but the only idea that came into my head was to physically fight her and hurt her and in spite of my unwillingness to submit to a spanking, that was a step I was unwilling to take so I resorted to the only remaining option that I could conceive of. I began to beg her not to spank me.
"Please honey, don't spank me." I heard myself saying. "I get it, I will grow up and be a better husband, just please don't spank me like a child."
She slowly moved towards me, again, in total control of her thoughts and emotions. she reached for my belt. My hands flew to stop her and I pulled back, but she anticipated the move and shoved her hands into the top of my jeans to gain leverage and pulled me back towards her. She looked me in the eye and simply asked, "do you want to pull down your own pants or shall I continue to undress you?"
"Neither." I replied, "I don't want to be spanked.", but before I could even finished the sentence she was already working at the belt again. "Come on honey, don't do this." I begged my hands wrapped around her wrists trying to stop her from working my belt open, but in-spite of my resistance, she had unbuckled my belt and was working on the button and zipper. I tied to crouch over and pull my hips back and away from her while at the same time push her hands away, my hands still wrapped around her wrists. She was surprisingly strong and I was unable to push her hands away and she quickly pulled her hands upwards, out then down so fast that she broke free from my grip, again grabbed the tops of my jeans at either side and pulled me closer to her. "Stop the squirming of I will punish you for that as well." and before I could react again she had my zipper down and was tugging the pants down to my knees. Again I tried to pull back but I stumbled, the pants now restricting my movements and as I lost balance I felt her strong hands supporting me and pulling me forward as she backed up to sit on the edge of the bed. She pulled me over her knees and before I knew it she had me pants down at my knees over her knee and my tighty whitey clad backside exposed to her. It was at this point that my heart began to race and the confusion of thought changed to the realization that it had happened. I was about to be spanked and there was little I could do at this point to avoid it. I tried to reach back, stand back up squirm sideways to slide off her lap, but her grip was much stronger than I would have expected and each move only reminded my how helpless I really was at this point.
She gripped me tight with her left hand and I felt her right hand tugging down my briefs. "No honey, please don't do this to me, don't spank me. I get it I get it, please don't do this STOP!"
But my pleading fell on deaf ears and my undies were soon at my knees. Than without warning CRACK!. I felt a sudden and sharp sting across my bottom that was clearly not her hand. I yelped out in pain and was just about to ask what she hit me with when WHACK! it came down again. I tried to strain and turn to see what she was hitting me with then WHACK, it came down again> I finally caught a glimpse of the large wooden hairbrush. I don't know when she placed it on the bed but there is was WHACK, I couldn't believe how much it hurt. I was being spanked, really spanked, like a child WHACK. I winced in pain and let out some whimpers and groans and even felt my eyes watering up but I wouldn't say that I was crying. I kicked, bucked and writhed beneath her grip unable to break free trying to avoid the spanking but each time WHACK, the hairbrush came down and made made contact with my tender bottom and all thoughts of resistance left me. There was no escape and the spanking continued. WHACK, WHACK WHACK. It was a sensation that was difficult to describe. The sting was unique and it spread across my whole bottom and sent shivers up my spine and down my legs, even tough she only concentrated on my bottom. Just when I thought I was going to lose it and start crying for real. It stopped.
I laid across her lap not making a move. The pain was there, it was real. This was indeed a real spanking, but as the burning in my bottom began to settle down to a dull ache now that the spanking stopper, the realization that I was a grown man laying over my wife's knees, pants and undies now at my ankles having slipped down as a result of my spanking began to invade my thoughts.
I had been spanked. Spanked like a child. Water in my eyes on the verge of tears. It would be a spanking I would never. It was not my first spanking, but it had been the first spanking I have had since I was 12 and in some ways it was the worst spanking I had ever received, but it was not to be my last.
Monday, November 11, 2013
My First Real Spanking Part 1
Well, I would like to thank everyone who waited patiently to hear the story of my first spanking. I think I set enough background information to get an understanding of the dynamic that developed in our relationship. First off, I don't want anyone to get the impression that my wife is a control freak or that she makes and demands all kinds of strange things, but that said, there were a few things that were made clear to me before we got married.
First, for whatever reason, she preferred that I wear tighty whities instead of boxers. For the most part, I really didn't have too much of a problem with this as I would have probably worn a thong if I thought it would make me more sexy too her. The only thing with the white briefs is that I don't get the impression that she is doing it to make me look sexy to her or at least those aren't the reasons she has given me. She has always claimed that they are more hygienic, cheaper, easier to clean and other pragmatic reasons. As for herself, she just wears cheap plain white panties so she certainly practices what she preaches. Does she get sexual pleasure out of seeing me in tighty whities or does she get sexual pleasure out of making me wear them? I don't know.
Second, while we were dating and during our engagement she dictated when and how we would get intimate with each other. As the man trying to win my mate I was certainly respectful of her imposed boundaries and tried to show that I was driven by a genuine desire to get to know her and was just not being driven by pure lust. I worked to control my animal urges to make sure that we got closer emotionally before we got closer physically. Of course, now that we are married, there are no restrictions on our love making and I can initiate intimacy as much as she can. Now that we are married we are equals in bed.
Finally, I did submit to her grounding while we were dating. I mentioned that I was afraid not to take the grounding and one commentator asked what I was afraid of. Quite honestly, I have never gotten this close to a woman before and I certainly didn't consider the grounding abusive and I was afraid that if she left me I would never find a woman I felt so connected to again. Since we had become equals with regards to sex (sometimes I lead sometimes she does) I just assumed that incidents like the grounding were an artifact of the dating ritual and were also going to be a thing of the past. On that note, I found out I was wrong.
I hesitate to share some of these details as I don't want to give away too much personal information, but I think it helps to understand the complete picture. While we dating I lived in a very small 1 bedroom "house" way out in the out skirts of a large city. She had an apartment right downtown. I was making about $75K and she was making $180K. I don't necessarily consider her smarter or more successful than me but credit her higher salary to the fact that she works in the city where the cost of living is much higher and I work about an hour away where the cost of living is a lot lower. When we got married we agreed to sell my house and buy a bigger house so we now live in one of the better suburbs about 40 minutes from the city which puts me about 30 minutes from my job, but we have a really nice 4BR, dream house to show for it.
In spite of the fact that she earns more than me, she never once implied that this gave her more authority than me and we always seemed to be equals in any financial decision, but we did have a strict budget as the mortgage and property taxes were pretty hefty compared to what I was paying on the old house (which I acquired when my grandmother past away) but selling it did give us the down payment on the new house. My wife had some pretty decent savings, but she paid for the wedding so while we didn't count every penny from a financial standpoint we were pretty even despite the salary difference. Now I did let her set up the budget as she seemed to have better skill at that than I did but we agreed to it mutually.
So far the marriage seemed to be going well and we had a true partnership forming with a strong and loving bond forming between us, but the honeymoon was soon to be over.
It started when the property taxes were coming due. My wife had written out the hefty check for the property taxes about a week before they were due and left them in an envelope on the counter. It was a Saturday and I was going out with some friends and she was meeting some of hers. I was just on my way out saw the envelope and asked her if she wanted me to mail it for her. She replied that she was going to mail it when she went out later but if I wanted to mail it that would be appreciated. So I took the envelope tucked it into the visor of my car and planned to drop it off when I drove past the post office. Now I realize I could have just popped it into the mailbox in front of our house and put the flag up, but I felt safer dropping them into the box at the post office as that is what I usually did with the taxes on my old house. Anyway before I got to the post office my phone rang. It was the friend I was on my way to meet and I took the call and because I was distracted with the call I forgot to stop at the post office. By the time I realized my mistake, I decided I was too close to my friends house so I would just mail the taxes on the way back. Anyway by the time I was on my way back I had forgotten the envelope was there. One week and 3 days later we got a notice from the town about our overdue property taxes and what the new amount due (taxes + penalty ) was and when that was due and what they would be if we missed that date. I walked in to find my wife holding the letter looking at me confused. At first she was cursing out the town because 'we had paid these already' and concluded there was a clerical error in the clerk's office. My heart skipped a beat as I realized the taxes we still sitting in an envelope in the visor of my car.
"Honey", my voice croaked, "actually I forgot to mail the taxes in that day."
She paused looked at me and replied, "What day did you finally mail them?"
"Actually, I just realized they are still sitting on the visor of my car." She became a little annoyed with me and snapped back.
"How could you have them up there for a week and not remember to mail them?"
I was a little taken back by the accusation so I snapped back, "Look I just forgot, like you never forget anything. Its no big deal. We will pay them now, stop making a federal case out of this and chill out. Here I did you a favor by offering to mail them and instead I get grief from you because I forgot."
Immediately she stood up and walked towards me took a deep breath obviously trying to control the anger building in her then spoke calmly, but firmly, "this is the problem with you. Every time you make a mistake you look for an excuse. You never take responsibility for your actions. It is always someone else's fault or some things else's fault. You will never improve or get better unless you take responsibility for your actions"
I should of taken the hint, in some ways she was right, I still didn't want to just stand there and take the criticism so I again lashed out and started rambling off excuses starting with how I got distracted with the phone call. Before I could even finish she lashed out a little less calm this time.
"Wait!", she yelled, "you are actually going to stand here and tell me that the reason the taxes are late is because you were on the cell phone while you were driving? You are really doing to make that your excuse? You are not supposed to be using your phone while your driving anyway and now you are admitting to me that is the reason the taxes are late?"
Still not getting it I then launched into a argument about the BS cell phone laws, how I am safe driver, how those laws only exist to make money for the government, blah blah blah.
"Enough!", she really yelled this time. "you sound like a child with all your excuses. When are you going to grow up and take responsibility for yourself? I should take you over my knee and spank your bottom like a naughty boy. Maybe that would get through to you?"
The words caught me completely off guard. I don't know if she meant them or not, but they surprised me and I didn't know how to react. To this day I can't help but wonder if I have just laughed at her and told her how ridiculous that sounded things might not have gone the way they ended up going. Instead, an image of me laying over my mother knees, a flashback if you will of me laying over my mother's knees pants and underpants at my ankles filled my mind and I stood there silent for just a few seconds. I believe it was what some of the comments on this board have said was my implied consent, but I was not consenting. True I didn't immediately protest, but I now believe my moment of silence indicated to her, that she had found something that stopped my back talk and arguing. It was something that made me stop and think about my actions. It hit a primal nerve, the same primal nerve my mother was trying to reach (through my backside apparently) whenever all other methods of discipline had failed. Spanking was never my mother's first choice and I was probably only spanked about 5 times in my childhood, but they were all very memorable experiences. My wife had either intentionally or accidentally taped into those same experiences to break me from my argumentative mood.
Before I could speak, she continued, "I think a spanking is just what you need to realize how childish you have been behaving." She grabbed my wrist and started to pull me towards the stairs. I did pull back and stop her but she yanked on me quickly and I briefly lost my balance and stumbled forward. She then grabbed my upper arm and told me to go upstairs to our bedroom.
I stood there and replied "No, I am not a child and you are not going to spank me."
She looked back at me and said, "Well, whether you realize it or not you are acting like a child Trust me, you will be spanked before this night is over. I want you to be a man but if you are going to act like a child then I am going to treat you like one. You are going to get a spanking from me and you are going to learn from it."
My mind was going a million miles an hour and was totally confused by the turn of events. One thing was certain and somehow I knew it at the time. My wife was right. Before the night was over, I was going to be spanked.
To be Continued....
First, for whatever reason, she preferred that I wear tighty whities instead of boxers. For the most part, I really didn't have too much of a problem with this as I would have probably worn a thong if I thought it would make me more sexy too her. The only thing with the white briefs is that I don't get the impression that she is doing it to make me look sexy to her or at least those aren't the reasons she has given me. She has always claimed that they are more hygienic, cheaper, easier to clean and other pragmatic reasons. As for herself, she just wears cheap plain white panties so she certainly practices what she preaches. Does she get sexual pleasure out of seeing me in tighty whities or does she get sexual pleasure out of making me wear them? I don't know.
Second, while we were dating and during our engagement she dictated when and how we would get intimate with each other. As the man trying to win my mate I was certainly respectful of her imposed boundaries and tried to show that I was driven by a genuine desire to get to know her and was just not being driven by pure lust. I worked to control my animal urges to make sure that we got closer emotionally before we got closer physically. Of course, now that we are married, there are no restrictions on our love making and I can initiate intimacy as much as she can. Now that we are married we are equals in bed.
Finally, I did submit to her grounding while we were dating. I mentioned that I was afraid not to take the grounding and one commentator asked what I was afraid of. Quite honestly, I have never gotten this close to a woman before and I certainly didn't consider the grounding abusive and I was afraid that if she left me I would never find a woman I felt so connected to again. Since we had become equals with regards to sex (sometimes I lead sometimes she does) I just assumed that incidents like the grounding were an artifact of the dating ritual and were also going to be a thing of the past. On that note, I found out I was wrong.
I hesitate to share some of these details as I don't want to give away too much personal information, but I think it helps to understand the complete picture. While we dating I lived in a very small 1 bedroom "house" way out in the out skirts of a large city. She had an apartment right downtown. I was making about $75K and she was making $180K. I don't necessarily consider her smarter or more successful than me but credit her higher salary to the fact that she works in the city where the cost of living is much higher and I work about an hour away where the cost of living is a lot lower. When we got married we agreed to sell my house and buy a bigger house so we now live in one of the better suburbs about 40 minutes from the city which puts me about 30 minutes from my job, but we have a really nice 4BR, dream house to show for it.
In spite of the fact that she earns more than me, she never once implied that this gave her more authority than me and we always seemed to be equals in any financial decision, but we did have a strict budget as the mortgage and property taxes were pretty hefty compared to what I was paying on the old house (which I acquired when my grandmother past away) but selling it did give us the down payment on the new house. My wife had some pretty decent savings, but she paid for the wedding so while we didn't count every penny from a financial standpoint we were pretty even despite the salary difference. Now I did let her set up the budget as she seemed to have better skill at that than I did but we agreed to it mutually.
So far the marriage seemed to be going well and we had a true partnership forming with a strong and loving bond forming between us, but the honeymoon was soon to be over.
It started when the property taxes were coming due. My wife had written out the hefty check for the property taxes about a week before they were due and left them in an envelope on the counter. It was a Saturday and I was going out with some friends and she was meeting some of hers. I was just on my way out saw the envelope and asked her if she wanted me to mail it for her. She replied that she was going to mail it when she went out later but if I wanted to mail it that would be appreciated. So I took the envelope tucked it into the visor of my car and planned to drop it off when I drove past the post office. Now I realize I could have just popped it into the mailbox in front of our house and put the flag up, but I felt safer dropping them into the box at the post office as that is what I usually did with the taxes on my old house. Anyway before I got to the post office my phone rang. It was the friend I was on my way to meet and I took the call and because I was distracted with the call I forgot to stop at the post office. By the time I realized my mistake, I decided I was too close to my friends house so I would just mail the taxes on the way back. Anyway by the time I was on my way back I had forgotten the envelope was there. One week and 3 days later we got a notice from the town about our overdue property taxes and what the new amount due (taxes + penalty ) was and when that was due and what they would be if we missed that date. I walked in to find my wife holding the letter looking at me confused. At first she was cursing out the town because 'we had paid these already' and concluded there was a clerical error in the clerk's office. My heart skipped a beat as I realized the taxes we still sitting in an envelope in the visor of my car.
"Honey", my voice croaked, "actually I forgot to mail the taxes in that day."
She paused looked at me and replied, "What day did you finally mail them?"
"Actually, I just realized they are still sitting on the visor of my car." She became a little annoyed with me and snapped back.
"How could you have them up there for a week and not remember to mail them?"
I was a little taken back by the accusation so I snapped back, "Look I just forgot, like you never forget anything. Its no big deal. We will pay them now, stop making a federal case out of this and chill out. Here I did you a favor by offering to mail them and instead I get grief from you because I forgot."
Immediately she stood up and walked towards me took a deep breath obviously trying to control the anger building in her then spoke calmly, but firmly, "this is the problem with you. Every time you make a mistake you look for an excuse. You never take responsibility for your actions. It is always someone else's fault or some things else's fault. You will never improve or get better unless you take responsibility for your actions"
I should of taken the hint, in some ways she was right, I still didn't want to just stand there and take the criticism so I again lashed out and started rambling off excuses starting with how I got distracted with the phone call. Before I could even finish she lashed out a little less calm this time.
"Wait!", she yelled, "you are actually going to stand here and tell me that the reason the taxes are late is because you were on the cell phone while you were driving? You are really doing to make that your excuse? You are not supposed to be using your phone while your driving anyway and now you are admitting to me that is the reason the taxes are late?"
Still not getting it I then launched into a argument about the BS cell phone laws, how I am safe driver, how those laws only exist to make money for the government, blah blah blah.
"Enough!", she really yelled this time. "you sound like a child with all your excuses. When are you going to grow up and take responsibility for yourself? I should take you over my knee and spank your bottom like a naughty boy. Maybe that would get through to you?"
The words caught me completely off guard. I don't know if she meant them or not, but they surprised me and I didn't know how to react. To this day I can't help but wonder if I have just laughed at her and told her how ridiculous that sounded things might not have gone the way they ended up going. Instead, an image of me laying over my mother knees, a flashback if you will of me laying over my mother's knees pants and underpants at my ankles filled my mind and I stood there silent for just a few seconds. I believe it was what some of the comments on this board have said was my implied consent, but I was not consenting. True I didn't immediately protest, but I now believe my moment of silence indicated to her, that she had found something that stopped my back talk and arguing. It was something that made me stop and think about my actions. It hit a primal nerve, the same primal nerve my mother was trying to reach (through my backside apparently) whenever all other methods of discipline had failed. Spanking was never my mother's first choice and I was probably only spanked about 5 times in my childhood, but they were all very memorable experiences. My wife had either intentionally or accidentally taped into those same experiences to break me from my argumentative mood.
Before I could speak, she continued, "I think a spanking is just what you need to realize how childish you have been behaving." She grabbed my wrist and started to pull me towards the stairs. I did pull back and stop her but she yanked on me quickly and I briefly lost my balance and stumbled forward. She then grabbed my upper arm and told me to go upstairs to our bedroom.
I stood there and replied "No, I am not a child and you are not going to spank me."
She looked back at me and said, "Well, whether you realize it or not you are acting like a child Trust me, you will be spanked before this night is over. I want you to be a man but if you are going to act like a child then I am going to treat you like one. You are going to get a spanking from me and you are going to learn from it."
My mind was going a million miles an hour and was totally confused by the turn of events. One thing was certain and somehow I knew it at the time. My wife was right. Before the night was over, I was going to be spanked.
To be Continued....
Friday, November 8, 2013
Back From The Sick
Well, I am just getting over being sick and haven't had a lot of time to read all the comments and write, but I will start doing that now.
Something interesting happened while I was sick. On Monday I started feeling nauseous and came home from work early. By the time my wife came home I had thrown up and was really out of it in bed. She came in to check on me and found me still in my street clothes so she undressed me down to my briefs and tucked me into bed. She said I felt very hot then left the room. When she came back into the room she told me that she figured that since I was throwing up she might need some items from the drug store and then told me she wanted to take my temperature rectally and that she bought an extra digital thermometer that can be used if either of us needed to have a rectal temperature taken. I was too sick to argue so I let her roll me over and pull my underpants down to my knees. She took my temperature then announced that it was almost 102, She then told me she was going to give me an ibuprofen suppository that she also bought at the drug store since I would just throw up anything she gave me by mouth. I let her do what she needed to do then she pulled my underpants back up and let me sleep.
I woke up the next morning feeling better, but tired and weak and she waited on me hand and foot before heading into her office a little late. She also wanted to take my temperature again, but this time she went to take it in my mouth as I no longer seemed to be throwing up. It was just about 100 and she asked if she could think I could tolerate taken an ibuprofen by mouth. I thought about it but then said, I was worried it would upset my stomach. She then got the suppositories back out pulled my briefs down and proceeded to administer another dose.
Now here is what I have to admit. While I was sick I really didn't think too much about what was happening, now that I am better I find the memory of her pulling my pants down to take my temperature and give me a suppository to be, well, erotic. Looking back on it, I enjoyed it. I have been thinking about this ever since it happened and I reluctantly have to admit, that there is a submissive streak in me. I liked her exposing me like that and making me feel all weak and vulnerable in front of her while she took care of me. I think that was the real reason I took the suppository the second time and was a little disappointed that she took the second temperature orally.
During our sex play, she has "probed" me in that location and I did enjoy that as well, but then I have also "probed" her as well, but that was different, that was sex. This was not sex and yet I found it erotic. I believe this is what some of the other people I have read about must feel about being spanked. So while I have no desired to be spanked (and actually have not been spanked since I started this blog) I wouldn't mind having my temperature taken rectally again, I just don't want to puke my brains out again to get it done. I still feel a little weak even now.
Anyway, since I know many of you would like to hear about my spankings I will share a few stories with you once I feel a little better. I will also try to read through and reply to some of your comments. Thanks.
Something interesting happened while I was sick. On Monday I started feeling nauseous and came home from work early. By the time my wife came home I had thrown up and was really out of it in bed. She came in to check on me and found me still in my street clothes so she undressed me down to my briefs and tucked me into bed. She said I felt very hot then left the room. When she came back into the room she told me that she figured that since I was throwing up she might need some items from the drug store and then told me she wanted to take my temperature rectally and that she bought an extra digital thermometer that can be used if either of us needed to have a rectal temperature taken. I was too sick to argue so I let her roll me over and pull my underpants down to my knees. She took my temperature then announced that it was almost 102, She then told me she was going to give me an ibuprofen suppository that she also bought at the drug store since I would just throw up anything she gave me by mouth. I let her do what she needed to do then she pulled my underpants back up and let me sleep.
I woke up the next morning feeling better, but tired and weak and she waited on me hand and foot before heading into her office a little late. She also wanted to take my temperature again, but this time she went to take it in my mouth as I no longer seemed to be throwing up. It was just about 100 and she asked if she could think I could tolerate taken an ibuprofen by mouth. I thought about it but then said, I was worried it would upset my stomach. She then got the suppositories back out pulled my briefs down and proceeded to administer another dose.
Now here is what I have to admit. While I was sick I really didn't think too much about what was happening, now that I am better I find the memory of her pulling my pants down to take my temperature and give me a suppository to be, well, erotic. Looking back on it, I enjoyed it. I have been thinking about this ever since it happened and I reluctantly have to admit, that there is a submissive streak in me. I liked her exposing me like that and making me feel all weak and vulnerable in front of her while she took care of me. I think that was the real reason I took the suppository the second time and was a little disappointed that she took the second temperature orally.
During our sex play, she has "probed" me in that location and I did enjoy that as well, but then I have also "probed" her as well, but that was different, that was sex. This was not sex and yet I found it erotic. I believe this is what some of the other people I have read about must feel about being spanked. So while I have no desired to be spanked (and actually have not been spanked since I started this blog) I wouldn't mind having my temperature taken rectally again, I just don't want to puke my brains out again to get it done. I still feel a little weak even now.
Anyway, since I know many of you would like to hear about my spankings I will share a few stories with you once I feel a little better. I will also try to read through and reply to some of your comments. Thanks.
Friday, November 1, 2013
My First "Punishement"
Well, I think at this point I have given enough background information to set the stage of how our relationship has been developing to discuss my first "punishment." This is not the story of my first "spanking" but rather a punishment of a different sorts.
First off, before I get into the meat of this story I want to make a few things clear.
Although I have no desire to be spanked or punished in any way, I am conflicted with regards to whether or not I am being "abused." Yes, I am a man and I realize that unless I somehow desire or enjoy being spanked I should just walk away from this marriage, but a part of me is afraid to do that. I think this topic is important and sensitive and deserves its own post. For now I will table this discussion as I definitely have some strong feelings about it and want to make sure I am in the right mood to write it all out.
By now it should be clear that my wife/girlfriend slowly developed my dependence on her. The commitment to no pre-marital sex, allowing her to decide when, where and how we became more intimate and allowing her to make me switch to briefs from boxers. I desired none of these things but at the same time did not feel strongly enough about them to walk away from the relationship. I think she knew this. I loved her and she loved me. We really did care for each other and we enjoyed doing so many wholesome and non-sexual things together that are relationship was and is so much more than underwear and spankings. I only am blogging about these things because I feel it is a very unique situation or at least I have not found anyone else willing to discuss it.
Every other blog I read it is clear that the relationship is driven by some underlying sexual fantasy. I do not know if my wife gets any sexual pleasure from punishing me. If she does I have not seen any evidence of it. I read stories of husbands getting spanked every day, sometime severely for minor infractions. I read of men being forced into panties, dresses or diapers and stories of being tied up, wearing chastity devices, butt plugs or various other punishments. Clearly the diversity of sexual relations is as diverse as the human race itself and that is just fine as long as both parties do it as consenting adults.
Yes we have an active and healthy sex life and we enjoy each others intimacy in many ways beyond sex. While we are not prudes I can not say that we rise to the level of the 'kink' in some of these other relationships which is why I am uncertain of the role spanking plays in our sex life. Certainly anything involving the erogenous zones can be considered sexual, especially between a husband and wife, I don't associate it with sex before, during or after a spanking.
Finally, when I am punished or spanked they are tempered with moderation and caring and a desire to modify behavior. I am reluctant to admit this, but it is very much they way a parent would punish a child. Not with a desire to hurt or embarrass, although pain and embarrassment are part of the punishment, but with a desire to improve and modify behavior. Thinking about it in those terms makes me shudder slightly. I am her husband, not her child. She does not treat me like a child, but when she feels I have earned punishment, that is they way it seems to be.
I will certainly come back to these complex themes later, but for now I will share the story of how I was first punished.
First off, what did I do? Simple, speeding.
We were on our way back from a dinner out. I was wearing my "lucky briefs" and was hoping that they would bring me luck and there would be some fooling around when we got back to her apartment. Twice during the drive she had asked me, "How fast are you going? The speed limit is 45 here and there are some blind curves and some dangerous intersections." I acknowledged her concern both time, but really wasn't paying attention. Then it happened, the flashing lights in the rear view mirror.
"Where the hell did he come from?" I cursed.
I pulled to the side and rolled down my window. "I really don't need this shit right now." I bitched, already thinking of the fine, court date, insurance and all the wonderful things that go along with a speeding ticket. My girl just sat there silently looking straight ahead. I could tell she was not happy.
I don't get stopped often, in fact I had a pretty clean record at the time with no tickets but I can tell you, the worst time is when you first get stopped and before the officer approaches the window. You know they are back there either on their computer or radio checking your plate so they have some idea of who they are approaching before they get out of the car. You sit there waiting to see if the cop is in a good mood or some dickhead with an attitude who just enjoys busting the hump of some poor hapless SOB who innocently violates some obscure traffic law.
Finally the flashlight at the window, "Good evening sir, officer <so and so> with the <blah blah> Police Department. The reason I stopped you was for your speed. I clocked you doing 63 in a 45. Is there any lawful reason for your speed tonight?"
How do you answer a question like that. I am sure they lawyers know just how to answer that but I went into kiss ass mode. "No, officer, sorry officer, didn't realize I was going that fast, no excuse etc."
Well it was license, registration, insurance, sit here and I will be right back.
While we were waiting for him to come back I again started complaining, things like, this sucks, money making BS, legal robbery, etc. stealing from the working people, speed trap etc. The whole time my girlfriend remained silent.
Again, the flashlight at the window. "Mr. <yadda yadda>, here is your license, registration, proof of insurance back. The speed limit on this road is 45. It is a very dangerous road and just last night we had an accident out here with injuries. Speed is almost always a factor in these accidents. I really don't want to be pulling you out of a ditch, but I also don't feel like issuing you a $240 dollar ticket. Your record is clean so I am going to let you go with a warning, but be more attentive to the speed limit. I am out here often and if I see you doing 46 out here I am going to stop you and cite you. Have a good night and drive safely."
Wow, what luck. I got away with it. So I drove home and was elated but still complained about the "speed trap" and speculated that perhaps he didn't have a good radar hit so let me go with a warning. I also complained about him "being out there often" harassing "law abiding citizens"
It was then she finally spoke up, " If you are speeding then you are not a law abiding citizen."
The accusation and sudden breaking of the silence caught me off guard. "What are you going to compare speeding with murder? And like you never speed.?"
She raised her voice a slight tone of anger in it, "I don't know the last time we had a murder here, but more people get killed in car accidents, so yes I will compare it with murder. Yes, I do exceed the posted speed limit sometimes, perhaps doing 70 on the interstate where it is only 65 or maybe doing 50 in a 40, but doing 63 in a 45 on a road that I already told you twice was dangerous? You don't get it do you? This is not about a speed trap, this is about you not taking responsibility for your actions. It is not the cop's fault for stopping you. Its yours for driving like a jerk. I bet you a dozen cars past him at 50 or even 55 miles an hour before you came zooming by at 63. Then he gives you a warning thinking you are a reasonable person who would learn from this experience, but instead your still complaining about it. Don't go to my house, lets drive to yours instead."
We sat there silently as I finished the ride home. I was not sure why she wanted to go to my house. When I had my car we usually went to her house and after we "spent the night" I would drive myself home. I am not sure that this turn of events meant, but somehow I wasn't feeling "lucky" anymore. When we got to my house, she got out and we both walked up and went in. As soon as we were inside, she ordered me to "sit down" so I did while she stood over me.
I then got re-lectured on taking responsibility, safe driving, respect for the law, even if I didn't agree with it but the worst was when she finished with, "and putting my life in danger." That last part hurt. I would never put her life in danger, would I?
"So here is the deal.", she started, "Since you got away with a warning, but apparently didn't learn your lesson I am going to punish you." What did I here that right? "You are grounded. You are going to give me your car keys and I am going to drive myself home. You may leave the house only to go to work tomorrow and you will either take a taxi or the bus as I won't be able to drive you tomorrow I have a meeting to go to If you want to I will pick you up after work and drive you home or you may take a taxi or bus again. Just call me and let me know what you plan to do. I can drive you to and from work the rest of the week. Any questions?"
In looking back it is hard to say how I felt. This was clearly a test and the "any questions" statement at the end was the time for me to tell her to get lost and call a cab for herself and never call me again. I am sure that is exactly what any other man would have done. Who the hell did she think she was telling me I was grounded like a teenager? The problem was, I loved her and knew she loved me. She was clearly angry and at that moment in time I reluctantly admitted she was not entirely wrong. I should have been more grateful for the warning I got, but what really stopped me from telling her to take a hike and refusing to play along was the "endangering her life" comment. I certainly had no intention of hurting her or myself for that matter. I know we all feel that accidents happen to other people, no one deliberately gets into an accidents, that's why they are called accidents. I guess otherwise they would be called purposes. I sat there thinking about her "request" and at the time I did see it as a request and not an order and decided to comply with her request.
I handed her the keys and said, "OK, if this is what it is going to take to make you feel better than fine, I am 'grounded' for how long?"
"A week. Until then, its work then right home. You are not to leave this house except in a life threatening emergency otherwise you call me and I will let you know if you can leave the house."
So for the next week, she drove me back and forth to work, except for that first day. personally, I don't really think she wasn't able to drive me that first day, I think that was part of the punishment to take a cab. She drove me to the grocery store once to let me get food for the week, but other than that she drove me home, dropped me off and I sat in my house the whole week not being together with her. When she picked me up at the end of the week she handed me the keys and said, "You can drive me to my apartment."
I drove over to her apartment very carefully obeying every law We spent the night together in her apartment. Good thing I remembered to wear my lucky underpants.
First off, before I get into the meat of this story I want to make a few things clear.
Although I have no desire to be spanked or punished in any way, I am conflicted with regards to whether or not I am being "abused." Yes, I am a man and I realize that unless I somehow desire or enjoy being spanked I should just walk away from this marriage, but a part of me is afraid to do that. I think this topic is important and sensitive and deserves its own post. For now I will table this discussion as I definitely have some strong feelings about it and want to make sure I am in the right mood to write it all out.
By now it should be clear that my wife/girlfriend slowly developed my dependence on her. The commitment to no pre-marital sex, allowing her to decide when, where and how we became more intimate and allowing her to make me switch to briefs from boxers. I desired none of these things but at the same time did not feel strongly enough about them to walk away from the relationship. I think she knew this. I loved her and she loved me. We really did care for each other and we enjoyed doing so many wholesome and non-sexual things together that are relationship was and is so much more than underwear and spankings. I only am blogging about these things because I feel it is a very unique situation or at least I have not found anyone else willing to discuss it.
Every other blog I read it is clear that the relationship is driven by some underlying sexual fantasy. I do not know if my wife gets any sexual pleasure from punishing me. If she does I have not seen any evidence of it. I read stories of husbands getting spanked every day, sometime severely for minor infractions. I read of men being forced into panties, dresses or diapers and stories of being tied up, wearing chastity devices, butt plugs or various other punishments. Clearly the diversity of sexual relations is as diverse as the human race itself and that is just fine as long as both parties do it as consenting adults.
Yes we have an active and healthy sex life and we enjoy each others intimacy in many ways beyond sex. While we are not prudes I can not say that we rise to the level of the 'kink' in some of these other relationships which is why I am uncertain of the role spanking plays in our sex life. Certainly anything involving the erogenous zones can be considered sexual, especially between a husband and wife, I don't associate it with sex before, during or after a spanking.
Finally, when I am punished or spanked they are tempered with moderation and caring and a desire to modify behavior. I am reluctant to admit this, but it is very much they way a parent would punish a child. Not with a desire to hurt or embarrass, although pain and embarrassment are part of the punishment, but with a desire to improve and modify behavior. Thinking about it in those terms makes me shudder slightly. I am her husband, not her child. She does not treat me like a child, but when she feels I have earned punishment, that is they way it seems to be.
I will certainly come back to these complex themes later, but for now I will share the story of how I was first punished.
First off, what did I do? Simple, speeding.
We were on our way back from a dinner out. I was wearing my "lucky briefs" and was hoping that they would bring me luck and there would be some fooling around when we got back to her apartment. Twice during the drive she had asked me, "How fast are you going? The speed limit is 45 here and there are some blind curves and some dangerous intersections." I acknowledged her concern both time, but really wasn't paying attention. Then it happened, the flashing lights in the rear view mirror.
"Where the hell did he come from?" I cursed.
I pulled to the side and rolled down my window. "I really don't need this shit right now." I bitched, already thinking of the fine, court date, insurance and all the wonderful things that go along with a speeding ticket. My girl just sat there silently looking straight ahead. I could tell she was not happy.
I don't get stopped often, in fact I had a pretty clean record at the time with no tickets but I can tell you, the worst time is when you first get stopped and before the officer approaches the window. You know they are back there either on their computer or radio checking your plate so they have some idea of who they are approaching before they get out of the car. You sit there waiting to see if the cop is in a good mood or some dickhead with an attitude who just enjoys busting the hump of some poor hapless SOB who innocently violates some obscure traffic law.
Finally the flashlight at the window, "Good evening sir, officer <so and so> with the <blah blah> Police Department. The reason I stopped you was for your speed. I clocked you doing 63 in a 45. Is there any lawful reason for your speed tonight?"
How do you answer a question like that. I am sure they lawyers know just how to answer that but I went into kiss ass mode. "No, officer, sorry officer, didn't realize I was going that fast, no excuse etc."
Well it was license, registration, insurance, sit here and I will be right back.
While we were waiting for him to come back I again started complaining, things like, this sucks, money making BS, legal robbery, etc. stealing from the working people, speed trap etc. The whole time my girlfriend remained silent.
Again, the flashlight at the window. "Mr. <yadda yadda>, here is your license, registration, proof of insurance back. The speed limit on this road is 45. It is a very dangerous road and just last night we had an accident out here with injuries. Speed is almost always a factor in these accidents. I really don't want to be pulling you out of a ditch, but I also don't feel like issuing you a $240 dollar ticket. Your record is clean so I am going to let you go with a warning, but be more attentive to the speed limit. I am out here often and if I see you doing 46 out here I am going to stop you and cite you. Have a good night and drive safely."
Wow, what luck. I got away with it. So I drove home and was elated but still complained about the "speed trap" and speculated that perhaps he didn't have a good radar hit so let me go with a warning. I also complained about him "being out there often" harassing "law abiding citizens"
It was then she finally spoke up, " If you are speeding then you are not a law abiding citizen."
The accusation and sudden breaking of the silence caught me off guard. "What are you going to compare speeding with murder? And like you never speed.?"
She raised her voice a slight tone of anger in it, "I don't know the last time we had a murder here, but more people get killed in car accidents, so yes I will compare it with murder. Yes, I do exceed the posted speed limit sometimes, perhaps doing 70 on the interstate where it is only 65 or maybe doing 50 in a 40, but doing 63 in a 45 on a road that I already told you twice was dangerous? You don't get it do you? This is not about a speed trap, this is about you not taking responsibility for your actions. It is not the cop's fault for stopping you. Its yours for driving like a jerk. I bet you a dozen cars past him at 50 or even 55 miles an hour before you came zooming by at 63. Then he gives you a warning thinking you are a reasonable person who would learn from this experience, but instead your still complaining about it. Don't go to my house, lets drive to yours instead."
We sat there silently as I finished the ride home. I was not sure why she wanted to go to my house. When I had my car we usually went to her house and after we "spent the night" I would drive myself home. I am not sure that this turn of events meant, but somehow I wasn't feeling "lucky" anymore. When we got to my house, she got out and we both walked up and went in. As soon as we were inside, she ordered me to "sit down" so I did while she stood over me.
I then got re-lectured on taking responsibility, safe driving, respect for the law, even if I didn't agree with it but the worst was when she finished with, "and putting my life in danger." That last part hurt. I would never put her life in danger, would I?
"So here is the deal.", she started, "Since you got away with a warning, but apparently didn't learn your lesson I am going to punish you." What did I here that right? "You are grounded. You are going to give me your car keys and I am going to drive myself home. You may leave the house only to go to work tomorrow and you will either take a taxi or the bus as I won't be able to drive you tomorrow I have a meeting to go to If you want to I will pick you up after work and drive you home or you may take a taxi or bus again. Just call me and let me know what you plan to do. I can drive you to and from work the rest of the week. Any questions?"
In looking back it is hard to say how I felt. This was clearly a test and the "any questions" statement at the end was the time for me to tell her to get lost and call a cab for herself and never call me again. I am sure that is exactly what any other man would have done. Who the hell did she think she was telling me I was grounded like a teenager? The problem was, I loved her and knew she loved me. She was clearly angry and at that moment in time I reluctantly admitted she was not entirely wrong. I should have been more grateful for the warning I got, but what really stopped me from telling her to take a hike and refusing to play along was the "endangering her life" comment. I certainly had no intention of hurting her or myself for that matter. I know we all feel that accidents happen to other people, no one deliberately gets into an accidents, that's why they are called accidents. I guess otherwise they would be called purposes. I sat there thinking about her "request" and at the time I did see it as a request and not an order and decided to comply with her request.
I handed her the keys and said, "OK, if this is what it is going to take to make you feel better than fine, I am 'grounded' for how long?"
"A week. Until then, its work then right home. You are not to leave this house except in a life threatening emergency otherwise you call me and I will let you know if you can leave the house."
So for the next week, she drove me back and forth to work, except for that first day. personally, I don't really think she wasn't able to drive me that first day, I think that was part of the punishment to take a cab. She drove me to the grocery store once to let me get food for the week, but other than that she drove me home, dropped me off and I sat in my house the whole week not being together with her. When she picked me up at the end of the week she handed me the keys and said, "You can drive me to my apartment."
I drove over to her apartment very carefully obeying every law We spent the night together in her apartment. Good thing I remembered to wear my lucky underpants.
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