I know I started this blog to answer one very important question. Am I in an abusive relationship?
The question really boils down to is this a consensual relationship?
Many of you were generous enough to provide comments and I did read all the comments and there seems to be a question of did I imply my consent? That is a good question.
As I have pondered the comments (and thanks to everyone who comments, you definitely make this blog a lot more interesting than I could myself) I realize that I myself am not sure of the answer so there is no way anyone reading the blog can know (mind reader or not)
I was speaking with a friend of mine who was a lawyer about a burglary near us that had us all concerned. I incorrectly said "so and so's place was 'robbed'" and he corrected me and said, no robbery is the unlawful taking of property by 'force'. He then explained that larceny was the unlawful taking of property without force and that burglary was unlawfully entering a premise for the purpose of committing a crime (at least where I live, laws may vary where you are) where almost 99% of the time that crime is larceny. I found the discussion fascinating and figured this play on words is why lawyers make the big bucks. Anyway I became fascinated with the legalese and we continued discussing various scenarios when I presented the following scenario, "so I am walking down the street and someone comes up to me and says, 'give me your wallet' and I give him my wallet. Did he commit a crime?"
He replied, "probably, why did you give him your wallet?"
"Well, I guess its because I was unsure what he would do if I didn't give it to him. So I guess he committed larceny then?"
"No," he replied., "its robbery. Or at least that's what I would charge him with as a prosecutor. Of course the defense would try to argue out of it, but I could make the case for robbery."
"But he didn't use force?"
"Legally, the threat of force is all that is needed for a robbery. The actual use of that force would be a separate charge. If I came at you with a knife and said, 'give me your wallet' and you did that is robbery. If I then stabbed you, that would be assault with a deadly weapon. If I actually killed you that would be murder. That's the way the law works. As a prosecutor I would actually charge you will all 3 plus possession of a deadly weapon, possession of stolen property, speeding, jaywalking and anything else I can think of."
I was fascinated by all this and kind of wish I became a lawyer. Its not that I am not smart enough, its just that I didn't have the time and money for law school and not all lawyers make the big bucks so you may not make it all back. My friend does well but as an Assistant DA he is not rolling in the dough either.
Anyway, I got to thinking about the robbery example. The threat of force is the same as force. So I went back to my example. "so if the robber didn't actually display a knife or make a threat how is that robbery?"
"Simple, you stated you were concerned by what he would do if you didn't give him your wallet. Even if he never made a threat, a reasonable person would assume that force would have been used had they not surrendered their wallet. My job as a prosecutor would be to convince a jury that the threat of force was used. The defense of course will try to convince the jury that he merely asked you for it and you surrendered it of your own free will out of the goodness of your heart. I actually had a case where the defense tried this trick and it didn't work. I got a conviction. Of course it helped that the guy was 6 foot and full of muscle and he seemed to only ask 100 pound weaklings and women. Too bad the last woman he asked was a cop. She produced her wallet for him and when he saw her badge he ran. Perhaps that is the real reason I got the conviction. True story."
OK, I know that many of you are following my blog because they like to read about a gown man being pulled over his wife's knees and being spanked on his bare bottom and are disappointed that I am not providing any wanking material for you ( it doesn't bother me if you "like" my stories in that way) , sorry, but all these things get me thinking.
Is my wife using force in a legal sense. I have admitted that I have not completely resisted as I am not sure exactly what would happen if I did. There is hardly any physical force other than the actual spanking itself and the pushing and pulling. The question I ask myself is what would happen if I was to simply not comply and tell her to get lost. I don't know and I am afraid to really find out. What force if any would she use? Would she simply just give up and they would end? While I would love to ask my lawyer friend (but I would never dare) if I can charge my wife with assault, I am not sure I want to, but I am curious. I don't want to get my wife in trouble but I am sure that if I actually made a complaint that my wife was spanking me without my consent I would have a hard time proving that this was anything other than sex play. I have searched high and low and so far I have not found a single credible story of a wife being charged with assault for spanking her husband. Oh sure, wifes punching kicking stabbing, there are plenty of stories like that. If my wife kicked me and I made a complaint to the police I am sure they would arrest her and believe me, but what would happen if I were to call the police to complain that my wife is spanking me? Would they laugh at me and tell me to just shut up and enjoy it? I know a lot of people enjoy being spanked so they assume that I would enjoy it to. Like I said, I have never heard of a story of a women being arrested for spanking her husband. Is this because I haven't found it yet or is it because no man would be willing to sign a complaint that he is being spanked? I know I am too scared to make a complaint and admit I was spanked. Even if I wasn't too embarrassed to make a complaint, I don't want my wife arrested. I love her. So she is spanking me and I am afraid not to submit. Is that implied consent? If I felt the same way and she took my wallet, then according to my friend that would be robbery.
I remain confused as ever.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
My First Spanking Part 2
First off, sorry for the delay. I did not mean for my last post to be a cliff hanger, but I just got busy and I needed to make sure I did not shirk my responsibilities. This is a very busy time of the year both at work and at home and I can't guarantee there won't be a long delay between this post and my next, but thanks for everyone's patience.
So when I last posted, I had just gotten to the point in the story where my wife had announced her intentions to spank me and was ordering me upstairs to the bedroom and I had refused.
I stood there and she was tightly gripping my upper arm. I was totally confused and could not believe this was happening to me. We had been married about 4 months now and while she certainly had "punished" me in other ways other than spanking me while we were dating, I had assumed those were tests being conducted as part of the dating ritual and I had fully expected them to end when we got married just like the sexual teasing and restriction seemed to end when we got married.
"I am your husband, not your child. This is not how mature couples solve their problems.", I replied, pretty much indicating that I was not going to play her game. I fact I followed up with, "if this is some sexual fantasy of yours, I don't want to participate." I thought that would end the conversation. I really thought that she was simply playing a game and it was a game I had no interest in playing.
To my surprise, she gripped my arm tighter and pulled me closer to her then looked me in the eye, "This is not a game. I get no gratification from doing this sexually or otherwise, but you need to understand something. You are indeed my husband and that means that your actions no longer effect just you. If you make a commitment to me and you fail in that commitment at the very least you should be apologetic and be trying to figure out how to make amends. Instead, you stood there making excuses, telling me to chill out and telling me it is no big deal that you had more important things to do then meet your responsibilities. Yes, you are my husband, but you sometimes act like an immature child. I do not want a husband who acts like an immature child. To help you understand how serious I am I am going to spank you and I will spank you every time you act like a child. That is they way it is going to be."
The lecture she delivered was calm and measure. She was not yelling or freaking out. I think it was her appearance of total control that had me most intimidated. I stood there slightly trembling now and starting to feel like I was losing control. I really did not want to be spanked by her. I replayed her argument over in my head, but the scary thing was that I could not think of a logical response to her other than to reiterate what I had already said. So I gulped hard and said, "and if I refuse to let you spank me?"
She looked down ever so slightly and in an almost hushed tone as if she really didn't want to say it, "Like I said, I do not want a husband who acts like an immature child."
The implication was clear, even if it was not spoken. I could have pulled away and told her to fuck off, but I didn't . I could have just laughed and said, 'well I am who I am, love me or leave me.' or reminded her that she married me 'for better or worse' and that while not perfect, I certainly tried to be a better husband than a lot of the other jerks out there. Forgetting something, even something important was not the same as cheating on her or treating her like dirt. These were all valid points and I should have made them, but as I tossed these thoughts around in my head I kept coming back to her central theme. It was not what I did, but the attitude I had about it. I make mistakes, she makes mistakes. When she makes mistakes she takes responsibility for them and tries to fix them. When I make mistakes, I blame others, sometimes even blaming her. That was the difference. That was what she was really accusing me of when she was saying I was acting like a child. Still I did not want to be spanked, but I did begin to feel a little inferior to her as these thoughts entered into my head.
My tone became more apologetic. "Look honey, I know I screwed up but I really don't think I should be spanked. After all I am a grown man."
At that, she began to pull me towards the stairs again. It was then that I realized that she was stronger than me. She may not have been strong enough to pick me up and carry me up the stairs, but she was strong enough to over come my passive resistance and pull me towards the stairs. When we reached the stairs, she began to pull me up the stairs and I lessened my resistance in pulling back afraid of pulling us both down the stairs. I figured I would continue the fight once we were on level ground in the bedroom.
Once we got into the bedroom she pushed me into the room and shut the door behind us. She stood by the door hands on her hips looking very stern and serious. I was confused and unsure of myself and my heart was beating in my chest, again as the reality of the situation began to sink in. At this point a few things became clear to me. She was intent on spanking me. For whatever reason she felt that the only way to resolve this conflict was to spank me. I really did not want to be spanked. This was not the same as the "grounding" that I suffered while we were still dating. For one thing, she was not my wife at that point and I have to admit, that fear of losing her motivated me to play along with her. This was different. We were married now and we are supposed to be equals. I did not want to be treated like a child by her no matter how I acted. Because a part of me did secretly acknowledge that I did screw this up I was reluctant to take s stand and put my foot down. It is hard to be assertive when you are fundamentally in the wrong, so I appealed to her intellect and suggested other ways for me to make amends for my screw up.
I suggested that I work some extra jobs on the weekend to earn some money to pay the penalty on the taxes, she replied, "I am glad you are starting to show some responsibility for you actions, but this is not about money. I married you for richer or poorer. This is about you being immature and irresponsible. You are finally stepping up to the plate too late because I am forcing you to face the consequences of acting like a child. I am going to subject you to a child's punishment because you acted like a child. I am really glad to see you find the prospect of being spanked to be upsetting because it will be more effective this way. You are going to be spanked and there is little you can do to get out of it. I am sorry it had to come to this, but hopefully you will learn your lesson and remember this day and grow up so we don't have to do this again. Now", she paused, "pull your pants down."
The lecture was delivered with calm precision and I found the clarity of her thoughts put me off guard. It was clear that while my thoughts were bouncing a million different places at once, she was in total control of her thoughts and ideals. She said there was "little" I could do to avoid the spanking which implied that there was indeed "something" that could be done, but the only idea that came into my head was to physically fight her and hurt her and in spite of my unwillingness to submit to a spanking, that was a step I was unwilling to take so I resorted to the only remaining option that I could conceive of. I began to beg her not to spank me.
"Please honey, don't spank me." I heard myself saying. "I get it, I will grow up and be a better husband, just please don't spank me like a child."
She slowly moved towards me, again, in total control of her thoughts and emotions. she reached for my belt. My hands flew to stop her and I pulled back, but she anticipated the move and shoved her hands into the top of my jeans to gain leverage and pulled me back towards her. She looked me in the eye and simply asked, "do you want to pull down your own pants or shall I continue to undress you?"
"Neither." I replied, "I don't want to be spanked.", but before I could even finished the sentence she was already working at the belt again. "Come on honey, don't do this." I begged my hands wrapped around her wrists trying to stop her from working my belt open, but in-spite of my resistance, she had unbuckled my belt and was working on the button and zipper. I tied to crouch over and pull my hips back and away from her while at the same time push her hands away, my hands still wrapped around her wrists. She was surprisingly strong and I was unable to push her hands away and she quickly pulled her hands upwards, out then down so fast that she broke free from my grip, again grabbed the tops of my jeans at either side and pulled me closer to her. "Stop the squirming of I will punish you for that as well." and before I could react again she had my zipper down and was tugging the pants down to my knees. Again I tried to pull back but I stumbled, the pants now restricting my movements and as I lost balance I felt her strong hands supporting me and pulling me forward as she backed up to sit on the edge of the bed. She pulled me over her knees and before I knew it she had me pants down at my knees over her knee and my tighty whitey clad backside exposed to her. It was at this point that my heart began to race and the confusion of thought changed to the realization that it had happened. I was about to be spanked and there was little I could do at this point to avoid it. I tried to reach back, stand back up squirm sideways to slide off her lap, but her grip was much stronger than I would have expected and each move only reminded my how helpless I really was at this point.
She gripped me tight with her left hand and I felt her right hand tugging down my briefs. "No honey, please don't do this to me, don't spank me. I get it I get it, please don't do this STOP!"
But my pleading fell on deaf ears and my undies were soon at my knees. Than without warning CRACK!. I felt a sudden and sharp sting across my bottom that was clearly not her hand. I yelped out in pain and was just about to ask what she hit me with when WHACK! it came down again. I tried to strain and turn to see what she was hitting me with then WHACK, it came down again> I finally caught a glimpse of the large wooden hairbrush. I don't know when she placed it on the bed but there is was WHACK, I couldn't believe how much it hurt. I was being spanked, really spanked, like a child WHACK. I winced in pain and let out some whimpers and groans and even felt my eyes watering up but I wouldn't say that I was crying. I kicked, bucked and writhed beneath her grip unable to break free trying to avoid the spanking but each time WHACK, the hairbrush came down and made made contact with my tender bottom and all thoughts of resistance left me. There was no escape and the spanking continued. WHACK, WHACK WHACK. It was a sensation that was difficult to describe. The sting was unique and it spread across my whole bottom and sent shivers up my spine and down my legs, even tough she only concentrated on my bottom. Just when I thought I was going to lose it and start crying for real. It stopped.
I laid across her lap not making a move. The pain was there, it was real. This was indeed a real spanking, but as the burning in my bottom began to settle down to a dull ache now that the spanking stopper, the realization that I was a grown man laying over my wife's knees, pants and undies now at my ankles having slipped down as a result of my spanking began to invade my thoughts.
I had been spanked. Spanked like a child. Water in my eyes on the verge of tears. It would be a spanking I would never. It was not my first spanking, but it had been the first spanking I have had since I was 12 and in some ways it was the worst spanking I had ever received, but it was not to be my last.
So when I last posted, I had just gotten to the point in the story where my wife had announced her intentions to spank me and was ordering me upstairs to the bedroom and I had refused.
I stood there and she was tightly gripping my upper arm. I was totally confused and could not believe this was happening to me. We had been married about 4 months now and while she certainly had "punished" me in other ways other than spanking me while we were dating, I had assumed those were tests being conducted as part of the dating ritual and I had fully expected them to end when we got married just like the sexual teasing and restriction seemed to end when we got married.
"I am your husband, not your child. This is not how mature couples solve their problems.", I replied, pretty much indicating that I was not going to play her game. I fact I followed up with, "if this is some sexual fantasy of yours, I don't want to participate." I thought that would end the conversation. I really thought that she was simply playing a game and it was a game I had no interest in playing.
To my surprise, she gripped my arm tighter and pulled me closer to her then looked me in the eye, "This is not a game. I get no gratification from doing this sexually or otherwise, but you need to understand something. You are indeed my husband and that means that your actions no longer effect just you. If you make a commitment to me and you fail in that commitment at the very least you should be apologetic and be trying to figure out how to make amends. Instead, you stood there making excuses, telling me to chill out and telling me it is no big deal that you had more important things to do then meet your responsibilities. Yes, you are my husband, but you sometimes act like an immature child. I do not want a husband who acts like an immature child. To help you understand how serious I am I am going to spank you and I will spank you every time you act like a child. That is they way it is going to be."
The lecture she delivered was calm and measure. She was not yelling or freaking out. I think it was her appearance of total control that had me most intimidated. I stood there slightly trembling now and starting to feel like I was losing control. I really did not want to be spanked by her. I replayed her argument over in my head, but the scary thing was that I could not think of a logical response to her other than to reiterate what I had already said. So I gulped hard and said, "and if I refuse to let you spank me?"
She looked down ever so slightly and in an almost hushed tone as if she really didn't want to say it, "Like I said, I do not want a husband who acts like an immature child."
The implication was clear, even if it was not spoken. I could have pulled away and told her to fuck off, but I didn't . I could have just laughed and said, 'well I am who I am, love me or leave me.' or reminded her that she married me 'for better or worse' and that while not perfect, I certainly tried to be a better husband than a lot of the other jerks out there. Forgetting something, even something important was not the same as cheating on her or treating her like dirt. These were all valid points and I should have made them, but as I tossed these thoughts around in my head I kept coming back to her central theme. It was not what I did, but the attitude I had about it. I make mistakes, she makes mistakes. When she makes mistakes she takes responsibility for them and tries to fix them. When I make mistakes, I blame others, sometimes even blaming her. That was the difference. That was what she was really accusing me of when she was saying I was acting like a child. Still I did not want to be spanked, but I did begin to feel a little inferior to her as these thoughts entered into my head.
My tone became more apologetic. "Look honey, I know I screwed up but I really don't think I should be spanked. After all I am a grown man."
At that, she began to pull me towards the stairs again. It was then that I realized that she was stronger than me. She may not have been strong enough to pick me up and carry me up the stairs, but she was strong enough to over come my passive resistance and pull me towards the stairs. When we reached the stairs, she began to pull me up the stairs and I lessened my resistance in pulling back afraid of pulling us both down the stairs. I figured I would continue the fight once we were on level ground in the bedroom.
Once we got into the bedroom she pushed me into the room and shut the door behind us. She stood by the door hands on her hips looking very stern and serious. I was confused and unsure of myself and my heart was beating in my chest, again as the reality of the situation began to sink in. At this point a few things became clear to me. She was intent on spanking me. For whatever reason she felt that the only way to resolve this conflict was to spank me. I really did not want to be spanked. This was not the same as the "grounding" that I suffered while we were still dating. For one thing, she was not my wife at that point and I have to admit, that fear of losing her motivated me to play along with her. This was different. We were married now and we are supposed to be equals. I did not want to be treated like a child by her no matter how I acted. Because a part of me did secretly acknowledge that I did screw this up I was reluctant to take s stand and put my foot down. It is hard to be assertive when you are fundamentally in the wrong, so I appealed to her intellect and suggested other ways for me to make amends for my screw up.
I suggested that I work some extra jobs on the weekend to earn some money to pay the penalty on the taxes, she replied, "I am glad you are starting to show some responsibility for you actions, but this is not about money. I married you for richer or poorer. This is about you being immature and irresponsible. You are finally stepping up to the plate too late because I am forcing you to face the consequences of acting like a child. I am going to subject you to a child's punishment because you acted like a child. I am really glad to see you find the prospect of being spanked to be upsetting because it will be more effective this way. You are going to be spanked and there is little you can do to get out of it. I am sorry it had to come to this, but hopefully you will learn your lesson and remember this day and grow up so we don't have to do this again. Now", she paused, "pull your pants down."
The lecture was delivered with calm precision and I found the clarity of her thoughts put me off guard. It was clear that while my thoughts were bouncing a million different places at once, she was in total control of her thoughts and ideals. She said there was "little" I could do to avoid the spanking which implied that there was indeed "something" that could be done, but the only idea that came into my head was to physically fight her and hurt her and in spite of my unwillingness to submit to a spanking, that was a step I was unwilling to take so I resorted to the only remaining option that I could conceive of. I began to beg her not to spank me.
"Please honey, don't spank me." I heard myself saying. "I get it, I will grow up and be a better husband, just please don't spank me like a child."
She slowly moved towards me, again, in total control of her thoughts and emotions. she reached for my belt. My hands flew to stop her and I pulled back, but she anticipated the move and shoved her hands into the top of my jeans to gain leverage and pulled me back towards her. She looked me in the eye and simply asked, "do you want to pull down your own pants or shall I continue to undress you?"
"Neither." I replied, "I don't want to be spanked.", but before I could even finished the sentence she was already working at the belt again. "Come on honey, don't do this." I begged my hands wrapped around her wrists trying to stop her from working my belt open, but in-spite of my resistance, she had unbuckled my belt and was working on the button and zipper. I tied to crouch over and pull my hips back and away from her while at the same time push her hands away, my hands still wrapped around her wrists. She was surprisingly strong and I was unable to push her hands away and she quickly pulled her hands upwards, out then down so fast that she broke free from my grip, again grabbed the tops of my jeans at either side and pulled me closer to her. "Stop the squirming of I will punish you for that as well." and before I could react again she had my zipper down and was tugging the pants down to my knees. Again I tried to pull back but I stumbled, the pants now restricting my movements and as I lost balance I felt her strong hands supporting me and pulling me forward as she backed up to sit on the edge of the bed. She pulled me over her knees and before I knew it she had me pants down at my knees over her knee and my tighty whitey clad backside exposed to her. It was at this point that my heart began to race and the confusion of thought changed to the realization that it had happened. I was about to be spanked and there was little I could do at this point to avoid it. I tried to reach back, stand back up squirm sideways to slide off her lap, but her grip was much stronger than I would have expected and each move only reminded my how helpless I really was at this point.
She gripped me tight with her left hand and I felt her right hand tugging down my briefs. "No honey, please don't do this to me, don't spank me. I get it I get it, please don't do this STOP!"
But my pleading fell on deaf ears and my undies were soon at my knees. Than without warning CRACK!. I felt a sudden and sharp sting across my bottom that was clearly not her hand. I yelped out in pain and was just about to ask what she hit me with when WHACK! it came down again. I tried to strain and turn to see what she was hitting me with then WHACK, it came down again> I finally caught a glimpse of the large wooden hairbrush. I don't know when she placed it on the bed but there is was WHACK, I couldn't believe how much it hurt. I was being spanked, really spanked, like a child WHACK. I winced in pain and let out some whimpers and groans and even felt my eyes watering up but I wouldn't say that I was crying. I kicked, bucked and writhed beneath her grip unable to break free trying to avoid the spanking but each time WHACK, the hairbrush came down and made made contact with my tender bottom and all thoughts of resistance left me. There was no escape and the spanking continued. WHACK, WHACK WHACK. It was a sensation that was difficult to describe. The sting was unique and it spread across my whole bottom and sent shivers up my spine and down my legs, even tough she only concentrated on my bottom. Just when I thought I was going to lose it and start crying for real. It stopped.
I laid across her lap not making a move. The pain was there, it was real. This was indeed a real spanking, but as the burning in my bottom began to settle down to a dull ache now that the spanking stopper, the realization that I was a grown man laying over my wife's knees, pants and undies now at my ankles having slipped down as a result of my spanking began to invade my thoughts.
I had been spanked. Spanked like a child. Water in my eyes on the verge of tears. It would be a spanking I would never. It was not my first spanking, but it had been the first spanking I have had since I was 12 and in some ways it was the worst spanking I had ever received, but it was not to be my last.
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