A while ago when I first started writing this blog, a comment-er suggested I take the time to respond to all the people who have commented.
While I did read all of them I only took the time to respond to a few of them. Well with the emotional roller coaster I have been on these last few days, I took a day off from work and spent some time re-reading all the comments and responding to every single one of them (if I missed your comment I am sorry it was an oversight)
Of course some of the early comments may no longer be relevant or their opinions may have changed over the months, but I responded just the same.
Just my way of saying thanks for all the comments and feedback. I still welcome any new comments you may wish to make and will try to be more diligent in responding.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Pillow Talk
Well I wasn't planning on it, but my wife and I finally talked. It happened by accident.
Every since I read the comments from my readers that there was a consensus that a spanking in front of my wife's friend was inevitable I have been obsessing over the possibility and have turning it over in my mind. Up until now, the spankings have been so infrequent and it did not appear that my wife was spanking me for every possible sin real or imagined like I have read on other blogs that I tolerated this quirk in our marriage. Now the possibility that my wife is looking to take this to the next level and spank me in front of her friend really has me concerned.
One commenter who obviously gets off on this idea wrote,
I realize she is just enjoying my predicament and it not interested in offering any advice, but that's OK. I realize there are those who are enjoying this and I accept that because this is an anonymous forum and if she enjoys reading about how this has me freaking out and likes rubbing it in, so be it. But, the comment does have me thinking, what if this is the way my wife and her friend feel? These thoughts had me tossing and turning all night long, and that didn't go un-noticed by my wife. Now of course I want to remain discrete, but realize it would be easier to relate what happened next if I give my wife's friend a name, so what the hell, let's call my wife's friend Sarah.
I was curled up in bed, my back to my wife, again running these thoughts through my head. I found my hands were tucked into my briefs gently covering my shriveled penis, somehow hiding them from the imaginary prying eyes of Sarah as I considered the possibility my wife wanted to punish me in front of her. I was sleeping as I usually was in just my briefs and a t-shirt. Before I was married I slept in boxer shorts and when my wife made me switch to briefs I wanted to wear boxer shorts or elastic waist short pants as "pajamas" but my wife convinced me to sleep in just my briefs. I keep a pair of sweat pants at the foot the bed in case I need to go downstairs in the middle of the night, but otherwise it is just tighty whities to bed.
The reason I mention this is because I was used to the idea of sleeping in my briefs, but as I tossed these thoughts through my head I felt uncharacteristically exposed in just my briefs even thought there was nobody in the room except my wife and I was under the covers. For whatever strange reason I was very aware of how exposed I was in just my tighty whities and this was heightening my anxiety over a potential future spanking in front of Sarah. As I laid there tossing and turning in my sleep my eyes watered up and I guess after I must have sniffled in that certain way you do when you are crying my wife became away that something was up. I felt her hand gently on my shoulder.
"Are you OK?", she asked.
"Yes", I choked out swallowing hard.
She sat up and turned on the light. Again, she placed her hand on my shoulder and nudged me to turn over.
"Come on, roll over and let me see you."
I slowly rolled over brushing my face into the pillow to remove any evidence of my watery eyes then laid on my back staring up at the ceiling.
"Have you been crying?", she asked. Well I wasn't really crying as much as I was tearing with emotion.
"No, not really.", I squeaked.
"Well obviously something is bothering you. What is it?"
Annoyed at her concern now for my emotional state when a few days earlier I was trembling and crying in front of her as she threatened to spank me in front of Sarah I quickly snapped, "Why do you care all of a sudden?"
"Because I just do.", she calmly responded.
I stared straight up emotion swelling inside of me. My eyes watered up again, I felt my lip quiver and then I spit it out without even thinking about it, softly, holding back sobs, "I don't want to be spanked anymore." I shut my eyes as I felt a tear stream down my cheek.
She was silent for a while and I laid there shivering unsure of how she was going to react when she finally calmly, confidently spoke, "Good.", then paused, "maybe now we can change that behavior of your once and for all."
Her calm voice reassured me we were going to be able to have an honest discussion so I continued, still nervous but a little more steady. "I don't feel like a man when you spank me. Why do you get to spank me? Your not perfect you know, how come I don't get to spank you when you make mistakes?" I then took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.
She leaned over looking me in the eyes now, "First off, the reason you don't feel like a man when I spank you is because I spank you when you are not acting like a man, but a little boy, and a selfish, mean spirited one at that. The truth of it is, you need to be spanked. The fact that you are finally recognizing that you feel bad when you are spanked and want it to stop is real progress. Second, this is not about making mistakes. Of course I make mistakes, this is about attitude and character. The reason I spank you and the reason you don't get to spank me is because you act like a child sometimes. I spank you when you have failed to take adult responsibilities for your actions. This is not about slipping up and making mistakes, this is about your recognizing your mistakes and working to be a better person. You blame others, ignore other people's feelings. Not all the time. You are for the most part a good man, but when that selfish little boy inside you takes over I will spank him out of you."
I was dumbstruck. I was shaking now as if I was laying in a bath of ice water. I didn't know what to say. I felt so ashamed of myself. Did she really think I acted like a selfish child at times? "What do you mean I act like a selfish child?", I quietly inquired.
"Think back to every time I spanked you. Do you fell you deserved it?"
I didn't really want to answer the question so I stared blankly at the ceiling.
"Well let's take the last time I spanked you. Do you feel you deserved that?"
Well, the last time she spanked me was when Sarah was over, when I thought she was going to spank me in front of her and which I now feel is inevitable. Sooner or later I feel she will spank me in front of Sarah. The thought of that sent tears streaming down my cheeks again as I began shaking more violently.
"Can I assume by your reaction that you feel you did deserve that spanking."
With tears in my eyes, again emotions overwhelming me I sobbed out, "Are you platting to spank me in front of Sarah. You are trying to trap me into screwing up when she is here. You want to spank me in front of her. Please, promise me you will never spank me in front of Sarah." I was sobbing for real now. Lips pouting, eyes squinting, unable to speak full blown crying. I cupped my hands over my face cried for a few seconds, took a deep breath wiped my eyes. I composed myself and asked, "Does Sarah know you spank me?"
She rubbed my chest and spoke softly, "My poor baby, I see you still don't get it. No, as of right now, Sarah does not know I spank you. I resent the fact that you feel we are trying to trick you so that I can have an excuse to spank you in front of her. It means you still don't realize what you are doing. Don't you know that the comments you make to her and the jokes you have at her expense hurt her feelings and embarrass me?"
I didn't know if she expected an answer or not so I remained silent, so she continued. "That night, do you remember me asking you several times to refrain from speaking that way to her before I pulled you into the kitchen?"
Again, I didn't know if she expected an answer, but I suppose I did recall her asking me to 'know it off' once or twice so I slowly nodded yes.
"Did it ever occur to you to simply stop with the comments?"
I shrugged my shoulders.
"When I pulled you into the kitchen and explained to you why I was upset, did it ever occur to you to apologize to me and offer Sarah and apology for what you were saying to her?"
Again, no answer, but she was right. The thought did not occur to me.
"Doesn't that not sound like a little boy who doesn't get it and needs to be spanked so that he will understand how his actions effect others?"
Tears began welling up inside me again. I never thought about it from her perspective. I really was sounding like a spoiled little boy the way she put it.
"You were more worried about getting spanked in front of Sarah then you were about how she felt and how I felt. I was so close to dragging you out to the living room and spanking you right then and there in front of her. But, I wanted to be clear what my expectations from you are and what the consequences would be. I had told you, 'the next time she come over' and that time you were a perfect gentleman, so obviously you just forgot. If I had wanted to spank you in front of Sarah I would have done it that night. I don't want to spank you in front of Sarah. So that is why I gave you a second chance."
I sniffed reflecting on her words. While I didn't really like what I was hearing it was good to get it off my chest so I got brave and asked, "Do you enjoy spanking me, you know, sexually?"
She giggled a little, "No, not really." I felt her hand on my chest slide down to my underpants and she slipped her hand under the waist band and placed it gently across my penis. Normally this would have excited me, but given the circumstances it shrunk in fear of not knowing why she was doing it. "In fact, what I have noticed is how flaccid you become after a spanking. I can feel now that even thinking about being spanked has you shrunk up to almost nothing. After I have spanked you I realize it may be a few days before we can have sex again. It is a price I am willing to pay. I will admit, however, I do feel a certain satisfaction in knowing that I had an effect on you and that hopefully you have a healthy respect for me and are willing to change your behavior once and for all."
She pulled her hand out of my briefs while I still trembled and shivered with the uncertainty of the conversation. I didn't know what to ask next or even if I wanted to continue the conversation. I think she sensed this so she continued.
"So, you started this by saying you didn't want to be spanked anymore. Am I clear as to why I have to spank you? Do you understand what behavior gets you spanked?"
I gulped and nodded.
"I do not go around waiting for you to make the slightest mistake as an excuse to beat your bottom. Spankings are reserved for selfish childish behavior with no signs of regret or repentance. Luckily those have been few and far between, but they still happen from time to time.", she paused waiting to see if I was going to react. When I didn't she continue, "so my reply to your statement is, if you want the spankings to stop then stop the behavior, plain and simple. Now I hope I am clear on what behavior I am talking about."
I nodded that I understood.
"No traps, no tricks, no gotchas. Act like a child and you will get spanked like a child and that is all there is to it. You are not going to beg, plead or negotiate your way out of a spanking, you are going to earn your way out of a spanking. Understood?"
I did understand, but the words still hurt and my eyes began to water up again. I slowly nodded but then also squeaked out a plea about what was really bothering me. "OK," sniff, "I understand, but promise me you won't spank me in front of Sarah. I don't think I can stand the thought of her seeing my privates, my bottom or even my underpants. Please honey, please promise me you won't spank me in front of Sarah."
She sighed and looked at me. I stared back eyes watering, pleading begging for her to promise at least this one concession to me. My heart pounding in my chest, shivering, shaking my button tingling and clenching awaiting her response.
She looked at me very seriously then slowly began to speak. "I am concerned that you are even asking this of me. It is clear that the thought of me spanking you in front of Sarah is terrifying to you." She paused, again my heart pounding and my stomach churning, feeling so cold, so helpless and naked even thought I was under the covers and at least wearing my underwear. She of course as always was wearing flannel pajamas. "Like I said, no tricks or traps. The expectations are clear right? By asking me to promise not to spank you in front of her, when you know what you have to do to avoid it is like telling me you plan on acting up again when she comes over." It was clear she was not accepting my plea and I was really shivering now. Since there may have been confusion before, let me be clear. If she comes over again and you treat her the way you did last time. I absolutely WILL spank you right in front of her. I have already given you a second chance, there will not be a third chance. Am I clear."
I was starting to cry for real again, "yes, but she will see my..."
I didn't even get the chance to finish my thought as she interrupted me and said, firmly, but still calmly, "she will not see anything if you just behave yourself. but if you don't, then I will spank you. If that means I have to take your pants and underpants down to spank you, then so be it. I am not going to be concerned with what see might see. If you are really that afraid of her seeing your tiny penis and your little bottom getting tanned then behave yourself. It is as simple as that."
I laid there really crying again, sniffling and sobbing I turned onto my side facing her and brought me legs up a little and curled into a ball. "Please, please don't spank me in front of Sarah."
She laid down next to me hugged me tight and gently tried to get me to calm down by talking softly to me, "I will remind you of the rules next time she is hear. I will make sure you fully understand what is right and wrong. I will try to guide you into the proper way to treat our guest. I am sure you will do fine. But honey, you need to accept the fact that if you misbehave like you did last time, then your pants and underpants will be coming down and you will be spanked. If I have to do that in front of Sarah then no begging, pleading or crying will stop it. Now is the time to decide how serious you are about not wanting to be spanked in front of her. You simply need to obey the rules. That is all there is to it. I have no desire to trick you into a spanking in front of Sarah, but I will be obeyed and you will treat our guests with respect. Am I clear?"
I cried, "Yes."
She continued, "If after all this, you still can't behave properly when she is here then I will do what I have to do."
I cried for a few more minutes her holding me in her arms. Eventually I fell asleep wit exhaustion. I woke up in the morning tired and stressed from the night before. Things always look better in the morning. I at least have a better understanding of my situation.
Hopefully the post about "My Last Spanking" Will be just that my last spanking. I now know what I need to do to avoid them, but my wife also made it clear that if I can't meet those requirements I will be spanked and if I am going to be spanked, then I will make triple sure it will not be when Sarah is here.
So to the poster who teased me with
we have little girl who's afraid of a real sexy woman? "Really" little man? Or girl? " hee,"hee Sarah and friends!
No I am not a sissy and certainly not a girl, but perhaps I am not quite a man yet either, but with a little help from my wife perhaps this blog will be coming to an end.
That said, should I find myself being spanked again I will certainly share it with the blog. I am still scared to death of being spanked in front of her friend and my stomach still churns every time I think about it. She made it clear that it would happen if I screwed up again, but at least I feel like it is not inevitable like I did the other day. Wish me luck.
Every since I read the comments from my readers that there was a consensus that a spanking in front of my wife's friend was inevitable I have been obsessing over the possibility and have turning it over in my mind. Up until now, the spankings have been so infrequent and it did not appear that my wife was spanking me for every possible sin real or imagined like I have read on other blogs that I tolerated this quirk in our marriage. Now the possibility that my wife is looking to take this to the next level and spank me in front of her friend really has me concerned.
One commenter who obviously gets off on this idea wrote,
AnonymousFebruary 26, 2014 at 7:59 PM
Just remember, little man, we control,everything, even you! You should man up, we think your a "sissy" man are you? Where's the real man? Your scared to death? Your wife? I should talk too her, we have little girl who's afraid of a real sexy woman? "Really" little man? Or girl? " hee,"hee Sarah and friends!
I realize she is just enjoying my predicament and it not interested in offering any advice, but that's OK. I realize there are those who are enjoying this and I accept that because this is an anonymous forum and if she enjoys reading about how this has me freaking out and likes rubbing it in, so be it. But, the comment does have me thinking, what if this is the way my wife and her friend feel? These thoughts had me tossing and turning all night long, and that didn't go un-noticed by my wife. Now of course I want to remain discrete, but realize it would be easier to relate what happened next if I give my wife's friend a name, so what the hell, let's call my wife's friend Sarah.
I was curled up in bed, my back to my wife, again running these thoughts through my head. I found my hands were tucked into my briefs gently covering my shriveled penis, somehow hiding them from the imaginary prying eyes of Sarah as I considered the possibility my wife wanted to punish me in front of her. I was sleeping as I usually was in just my briefs and a t-shirt. Before I was married I slept in boxer shorts and when my wife made me switch to briefs I wanted to wear boxer shorts or elastic waist short pants as "pajamas" but my wife convinced me to sleep in just my briefs. I keep a pair of sweat pants at the foot the bed in case I need to go downstairs in the middle of the night, but otherwise it is just tighty whities to bed.
The reason I mention this is because I was used to the idea of sleeping in my briefs, but as I tossed these thoughts through my head I felt uncharacteristically exposed in just my briefs even thought there was nobody in the room except my wife and I was under the covers. For whatever strange reason I was very aware of how exposed I was in just my tighty whities and this was heightening my anxiety over a potential future spanking in front of Sarah. As I laid there tossing and turning in my sleep my eyes watered up and I guess after I must have sniffled in that certain way you do when you are crying my wife became away that something was up. I felt her hand gently on my shoulder.
"Are you OK?", she asked.
"Yes", I choked out swallowing hard.
She sat up and turned on the light. Again, she placed her hand on my shoulder and nudged me to turn over.
"Come on, roll over and let me see you."
I slowly rolled over brushing my face into the pillow to remove any evidence of my watery eyes then laid on my back staring up at the ceiling.
"Have you been crying?", she asked. Well I wasn't really crying as much as I was tearing with emotion.
"No, not really.", I squeaked.
"Well obviously something is bothering you. What is it?"
Annoyed at her concern now for my emotional state when a few days earlier I was trembling and crying in front of her as she threatened to spank me in front of Sarah I quickly snapped, "Why do you care all of a sudden?"
"Because I just do.", she calmly responded.
I stared straight up emotion swelling inside of me. My eyes watered up again, I felt my lip quiver and then I spit it out without even thinking about it, softly, holding back sobs, "I don't want to be spanked anymore." I shut my eyes as I felt a tear stream down my cheek.
She was silent for a while and I laid there shivering unsure of how she was going to react when she finally calmly, confidently spoke, "Good.", then paused, "maybe now we can change that behavior of your once and for all."
Her calm voice reassured me we were going to be able to have an honest discussion so I continued, still nervous but a little more steady. "I don't feel like a man when you spank me. Why do you get to spank me? Your not perfect you know, how come I don't get to spank you when you make mistakes?" I then took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.
She leaned over looking me in the eyes now, "First off, the reason you don't feel like a man when I spank you is because I spank you when you are not acting like a man, but a little boy, and a selfish, mean spirited one at that. The truth of it is, you need to be spanked. The fact that you are finally recognizing that you feel bad when you are spanked and want it to stop is real progress. Second, this is not about making mistakes. Of course I make mistakes, this is about attitude and character. The reason I spank you and the reason you don't get to spank me is because you act like a child sometimes. I spank you when you have failed to take adult responsibilities for your actions. This is not about slipping up and making mistakes, this is about your recognizing your mistakes and working to be a better person. You blame others, ignore other people's feelings. Not all the time. You are for the most part a good man, but when that selfish little boy inside you takes over I will spank him out of you."
I was dumbstruck. I was shaking now as if I was laying in a bath of ice water. I didn't know what to say. I felt so ashamed of myself. Did she really think I acted like a selfish child at times? "What do you mean I act like a selfish child?", I quietly inquired.
"Think back to every time I spanked you. Do you fell you deserved it?"
I didn't really want to answer the question so I stared blankly at the ceiling.
"Well let's take the last time I spanked you. Do you feel you deserved that?"
Well, the last time she spanked me was when Sarah was over, when I thought she was going to spank me in front of her and which I now feel is inevitable. Sooner or later I feel she will spank me in front of Sarah. The thought of that sent tears streaming down my cheeks again as I began shaking more violently.
"Can I assume by your reaction that you feel you did deserve that spanking."
With tears in my eyes, again emotions overwhelming me I sobbed out, "Are you platting to spank me in front of Sarah. You are trying to trap me into screwing up when she is here. You want to spank me in front of her. Please, promise me you will never spank me in front of Sarah." I was sobbing for real now. Lips pouting, eyes squinting, unable to speak full blown crying. I cupped my hands over my face cried for a few seconds, took a deep breath wiped my eyes. I composed myself and asked, "Does Sarah know you spank me?"
She rubbed my chest and spoke softly, "My poor baby, I see you still don't get it. No, as of right now, Sarah does not know I spank you. I resent the fact that you feel we are trying to trick you so that I can have an excuse to spank you in front of her. It means you still don't realize what you are doing. Don't you know that the comments you make to her and the jokes you have at her expense hurt her feelings and embarrass me?"
I didn't know if she expected an answer or not so I remained silent, so she continued. "That night, do you remember me asking you several times to refrain from speaking that way to her before I pulled you into the kitchen?"
Again, I didn't know if she expected an answer, but I suppose I did recall her asking me to 'know it off' once or twice so I slowly nodded yes.
"Did it ever occur to you to simply stop with the comments?"
I shrugged my shoulders.
"When I pulled you into the kitchen and explained to you why I was upset, did it ever occur to you to apologize to me and offer Sarah and apology for what you were saying to her?"
Again, no answer, but she was right. The thought did not occur to me.
"Doesn't that not sound like a little boy who doesn't get it and needs to be spanked so that he will understand how his actions effect others?"
Tears began welling up inside me again. I never thought about it from her perspective. I really was sounding like a spoiled little boy the way she put it.
"You were more worried about getting spanked in front of Sarah then you were about how she felt and how I felt. I was so close to dragging you out to the living room and spanking you right then and there in front of her. But, I wanted to be clear what my expectations from you are and what the consequences would be. I had told you, 'the next time she come over' and that time you were a perfect gentleman, so obviously you just forgot. If I had wanted to spank you in front of Sarah I would have done it that night. I don't want to spank you in front of Sarah. So that is why I gave you a second chance."
I sniffed reflecting on her words. While I didn't really like what I was hearing it was good to get it off my chest so I got brave and asked, "Do you enjoy spanking me, you know, sexually?"
She giggled a little, "No, not really." I felt her hand on my chest slide down to my underpants and she slipped her hand under the waist band and placed it gently across my penis. Normally this would have excited me, but given the circumstances it shrunk in fear of not knowing why she was doing it. "In fact, what I have noticed is how flaccid you become after a spanking. I can feel now that even thinking about being spanked has you shrunk up to almost nothing. After I have spanked you I realize it may be a few days before we can have sex again. It is a price I am willing to pay. I will admit, however, I do feel a certain satisfaction in knowing that I had an effect on you and that hopefully you have a healthy respect for me and are willing to change your behavior once and for all."
She pulled her hand out of my briefs while I still trembled and shivered with the uncertainty of the conversation. I didn't know what to ask next or even if I wanted to continue the conversation. I think she sensed this so she continued.
"So, you started this by saying you didn't want to be spanked anymore. Am I clear as to why I have to spank you? Do you understand what behavior gets you spanked?"
I gulped and nodded.
"I do not go around waiting for you to make the slightest mistake as an excuse to beat your bottom. Spankings are reserved for selfish childish behavior with no signs of regret or repentance. Luckily those have been few and far between, but they still happen from time to time.", she paused waiting to see if I was going to react. When I didn't she continue, "so my reply to your statement is, if you want the spankings to stop then stop the behavior, plain and simple. Now I hope I am clear on what behavior I am talking about."
I nodded that I understood.
"No traps, no tricks, no gotchas. Act like a child and you will get spanked like a child and that is all there is to it. You are not going to beg, plead or negotiate your way out of a spanking, you are going to earn your way out of a spanking. Understood?"
I did understand, but the words still hurt and my eyes began to water up again. I slowly nodded but then also squeaked out a plea about what was really bothering me. "OK," sniff, "I understand, but promise me you won't spank me in front of Sarah. I don't think I can stand the thought of her seeing my privates, my bottom or even my underpants. Please honey, please promise me you won't spank me in front of Sarah."
She sighed and looked at me. I stared back eyes watering, pleading begging for her to promise at least this one concession to me. My heart pounding in my chest, shivering, shaking my button tingling and clenching awaiting her response.
She looked at me very seriously then slowly began to speak. "I am concerned that you are even asking this of me. It is clear that the thought of me spanking you in front of Sarah is terrifying to you." She paused, again my heart pounding and my stomach churning, feeling so cold, so helpless and naked even thought I was under the covers and at least wearing my underwear. She of course as always was wearing flannel pajamas. "Like I said, no tricks or traps. The expectations are clear right? By asking me to promise not to spank you in front of her, when you know what you have to do to avoid it is like telling me you plan on acting up again when she comes over." It was clear she was not accepting my plea and I was really shivering now. Since there may have been confusion before, let me be clear. If she comes over again and you treat her the way you did last time. I absolutely WILL spank you right in front of her. I have already given you a second chance, there will not be a third chance. Am I clear."
I was starting to cry for real again, "yes, but she will see my..."
I didn't even get the chance to finish my thought as she interrupted me and said, firmly, but still calmly, "she will not see anything if you just behave yourself. but if you don't, then I will spank you. If that means I have to take your pants and underpants down to spank you, then so be it. I am not going to be concerned with what see might see. If you are really that afraid of her seeing your tiny penis and your little bottom getting tanned then behave yourself. It is as simple as that."
I laid there really crying again, sniffling and sobbing I turned onto my side facing her and brought me legs up a little and curled into a ball. "Please, please don't spank me in front of Sarah."
She laid down next to me hugged me tight and gently tried to get me to calm down by talking softly to me, "I will remind you of the rules next time she is hear. I will make sure you fully understand what is right and wrong. I will try to guide you into the proper way to treat our guest. I am sure you will do fine. But honey, you need to accept the fact that if you misbehave like you did last time, then your pants and underpants will be coming down and you will be spanked. If I have to do that in front of Sarah then no begging, pleading or crying will stop it. Now is the time to decide how serious you are about not wanting to be spanked in front of her. You simply need to obey the rules. That is all there is to it. I have no desire to trick you into a spanking in front of Sarah, but I will be obeyed and you will treat our guests with respect. Am I clear?"
I cried, "Yes."
She continued, "If after all this, you still can't behave properly when she is here then I will do what I have to do."
I cried for a few more minutes her holding me in her arms. Eventually I fell asleep wit exhaustion. I woke up in the morning tired and stressed from the night before. Things always look better in the morning. I at least have a better understanding of my situation.
Hopefully the post about "My Last Spanking" Will be just that my last spanking. I now know what I need to do to avoid them, but my wife also made it clear that if I can't meet those requirements I will be spanked and if I am going to be spanked, then I will make triple sure it will not be when Sarah is here.
So to the poster who teased me with
we have little girl who's afraid of a real sexy woman? "Really" little man? Or girl? " hee,"hee Sarah and friends!
No I am not a sissy and certainly not a girl, but perhaps I am not quite a man yet either, but with a little help from my wife perhaps this blog will be coming to an end.
That said, should I find myself being spanked again I will certainly share it with the blog. I am still scared to death of being spanked in front of her friend and my stomach still churns every time I think about it. She made it clear that it would happen if I screwed up again, but at least I feel like it is not inevitable like I did the other day. Wish me luck.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Scared to Death
Since I wrote about my last spanking I received a few comments that really have me terrified.
Here is one:
Here is one:
I mostly agree that you are going to be spanked in front of a witness soon probably your wife’s friend and most likely your wife has cleared it with her already and may have planned to do it for the last spanking you describe.
Here is another:
Given all of the above conditions, I suggest accepting, as best you can, the strong likelihood that your bare bottom will be over your wife's knee, bouncing, as she uses her hairbrush to teach you a lesson in front of her friend.
When I read these comments my heart started racing and I have been terrified ever since. I find myself walking around the house my stomach in knots and butterflies. I would like to think that I can avoid this somehow. I am shaking even as I am writing this. I have come to realize that I have reluctantly come to accept the spankings from my wife, but this is not something I want to have to go through in front of anyone else, let alone her friend. It may be possible that her friend already knows that she spanks me, but I still want to live in ignorant bliss. I cried like a little boy when I thought she was going to spank me in front of her last time. I just can't imagine going through this for real. Like I said I was up all night heart pounding in my chest thinking what it would be like. Would I cry? Could I hold it in. Would she see my small shriveled penis or just my bottom? Maybe my wife would spank me over my pants or at least my underpants? Would she spank me in the bedroom or right there in the living room? God I am so scarred. I began crying quietly as these comments went through my mind. I can feel my bottom clench tightly every time the words "you are going to be spanked in front of a witness soon" Played over and over again in my head.
Well while I thank you for the honesty of your advice, I hope to god you are wrong and I swear I am going to be on my best behavior and my pants and briefs will stay up and my backside will escape unharmed. I want your honesty, but please give me some hope that a witnessed spanking is not inevitable.
I reread these powerful comment over and over and tremble every time I read and reflect.
Since you have little reason to believe that you'll be able to maintain your composure, I think you should be as warm and friendly to this woman as you possibly can. As this is apparently your fate, don't do it in hopes of avoiding punishment. Do it for the sake of having as sympathetic an audience possible. There's no reason to add to her delight.
I can't believe it. A tear just fell onto the computer as my eyes watered from re-reading the above comment.
As this is apparently your fate, don't do it in hopes of avoiding punishment.
Monday, February 24, 2014
My Last Spanking
As promised, I finally am taking some time to write about the last spanking I received. I always want to make sure I do a good job of writing up the story so I thank everyone for their patience.
Well, for anyone who has been following along, you can re-read my first two posts to remind yourself of the the incident that first made me write about my spankings and that was when she had one of her friends over. You can re-read those first two posts for all the details, but in a nutshell I was rude to her and after she left my wife spanked me. I was warned that if the next time she was over if I did that again she was going to spank me in front of her friend. Needless to say, I was on my best behavior the next time she came over.
Well, we had her visit again and I was rude to her again. My wife got up and asked me to join her in the kitchen. I went in with her and she looked at me and asked, "Are you kidding? Didn't you learn anything from the last time? Do I need to spank you in front of her to put an end to this once and for all?"
With those words I quickly remembered her threat from last time and started to freak out. Oh my God would she really spank me in front of her? I literally began shaking and trembling as if the room just dropped to zero degrees. I felt a churning in my stomach at even the thought of being spanked in front of her friend.
I quietly began pleading with my wife, "No please don't, I'll stop, give me another chance." I was visibly shaking and trembling unsure of what was going to happen.
"Is that all you have to say?"
Thinking this was it, she was going to spank me in front of her friend my eyes began to water up and I felt a tear stream down my cheek. I nodded and heard my self quietly squeak out, half sobbing, "I don't know what else to say, please please don't spank me." Tears now freely flowing down my face. She stared at me blankly for a few seconds then spoke slowly and calmly.
"You will be spanked." she stated and I nearly wet my pants at the words and almost sobbed out loud as I closed my eyes and looked down at my feet waiting for the world to swallow me up. I became aware of my hands clenched tight in front of my groin and my penis and testicles shriveled up to almost nothing under my clothes at the thought of what was about to happen. I could not help but think how pathetic I would look once my pants and briefs came down.
She finally put me out of my misery by clarifying, "Yes, you will be spanked as soon as she leaves. Now go upstairs and wait for me in the bedroom.:"
I turned and went to the bedroom threw myself face down on the bed and cried softly into my pillow and spent the next 5 minutes calming myself down from the freak out that had just occurred when I was convinced that she was going to spank me in front of her friend.
I was up there about an hour when I finally heard her friend leave. She came up a few minutes later with the hairbrush in her hands. I knew the drill and soon I was over her lap, pants and briefs at my ankles. The spanking was not that severe but I found myself once again crying with the relief that at least this was being done in private. When she finished she stood me up in front of her.
She looked me in my tear streaked eyes and then calmly said, "I want to be clear on this so there is no misunderstanding for the future. I did say, the next time she came over and you were rude I was going to spank you in front of her. You were then a model host. I cut you slack today in case I was not clear. If you ever mouth off to her again, now or in the future I will spank you right then and there in front of her. Is that clear."
I nodded yes and wiped the tears from my eyes. She stood up and went to leave the room. I stood there relieved that my spankings remained private. I stared down at my pathetic gentiles looking tiny and immature. Not a stirring in them at all. I find it hard to believe that any man can get enjoyment from being spanked, but to each his own.
I got dressed and sat on the bed and began to think. I really need to talk to my wife about this.
Well, for anyone who has been following along, you can re-read my first two posts to remind yourself of the the incident that first made me write about my spankings and that was when she had one of her friends over. You can re-read those first two posts for all the details, but in a nutshell I was rude to her and after she left my wife spanked me. I was warned that if the next time she was over if I did that again she was going to spank me in front of her friend. Needless to say, I was on my best behavior the next time she came over.
Well, we had her visit again and I was rude to her again. My wife got up and asked me to join her in the kitchen. I went in with her and she looked at me and asked, "Are you kidding? Didn't you learn anything from the last time? Do I need to spank you in front of her to put an end to this once and for all?"
With those words I quickly remembered her threat from last time and started to freak out. Oh my God would she really spank me in front of her? I literally began shaking and trembling as if the room just dropped to zero degrees. I felt a churning in my stomach at even the thought of being spanked in front of her friend.
I quietly began pleading with my wife, "No please don't, I'll stop, give me another chance." I was visibly shaking and trembling unsure of what was going to happen.
"Is that all you have to say?"
Thinking this was it, she was going to spank me in front of her friend my eyes began to water up and I felt a tear stream down my cheek. I nodded and heard my self quietly squeak out, half sobbing, "I don't know what else to say, please please don't spank me." Tears now freely flowing down my face. She stared at me blankly for a few seconds then spoke slowly and calmly.
"You will be spanked." she stated and I nearly wet my pants at the words and almost sobbed out loud as I closed my eyes and looked down at my feet waiting for the world to swallow me up. I became aware of my hands clenched tight in front of my groin and my penis and testicles shriveled up to almost nothing under my clothes at the thought of what was about to happen. I could not help but think how pathetic I would look once my pants and briefs came down.
She finally put me out of my misery by clarifying, "Yes, you will be spanked as soon as she leaves. Now go upstairs and wait for me in the bedroom.:"
I turned and went to the bedroom threw myself face down on the bed and cried softly into my pillow and spent the next 5 minutes calming myself down from the freak out that had just occurred when I was convinced that she was going to spank me in front of her friend.
I was up there about an hour when I finally heard her friend leave. She came up a few minutes later with the hairbrush in her hands. I knew the drill and soon I was over her lap, pants and briefs at my ankles. The spanking was not that severe but I found myself once again crying with the relief that at least this was being done in private. When she finished she stood me up in front of her.
She looked me in my tear streaked eyes and then calmly said, "I want to be clear on this so there is no misunderstanding for the future. I did say, the next time she came over and you were rude I was going to spank you in front of her. You were then a model host. I cut you slack today in case I was not clear. If you ever mouth off to her again, now or in the future I will spank you right then and there in front of her. Is that clear."
I nodded yes and wiped the tears from my eyes. She stood up and went to leave the room. I stood there relieved that my spankings remained private. I stared down at my pathetic gentiles looking tiny and immature. Not a stirring in them at all. I find it hard to believe that any man can get enjoyment from being spanked, but to each his own.
I got dressed and sat on the bed and began to think. I really need to talk to my wife about this.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
A Quick Update
Sorry for the delay in writing.
First off I wanted to let everyone know that I have read and considered everyone's comments and I apologize for not taking more time to respond to everyone individually. I may still get to it but please be assured that I value every comment I receive.
What I had noticed emerging was a common idea that I needed to have a talk with my wife to discuss my concerns. I said I was afraid to do this, but I could not articulate why. After deep reflection it became apparent to me that while I really did not like the spankings, I really liked my marriage in every other respect. The spankings were so infrequent and even with the one before New Years that left me in tears, I still do not consider them abusive. When I hear about all the other problems many marriages are experiencing I came to the conclusion that if this is the worst thing that happens to me I should consider myself lucky. I guess my fear is that in the attempt to correct the one thing I do not like about my marriage I could screw up all the things that work.
The spanking I got before New Years was pretty severe and left me crying for the first time. It upset me and I think it upset my wife. It was so emotional that I was beginning to think that it may have been my last spanking. This last Sunday I found out that was not the case and I once again got a spanking. I will certainly take the time to write up all the details for you but I will quickly share this. The spanking was no where near as severe as the one I got last time. In fact it was pretty mild as far as spankings go, however, I found myself crying again. I wasn't crying from the pain, but the humiliation and embarrassment and realization that my wife still felt that it was necessary to spank me like a child to get me to change my behavior. Do I feel I deserved the spanking? In relation to what were spanking offenses in the past, yes I deserved the spanking. Do I wish she wouldn't bare my bottom and spank me? Absolutely. Am I going to call the cops on her, divorce her, leave her? Absolutely not. Am I going to talk to her about it and see if I can get her to agree to stop. I don't know, I honestly don't know.
First off I wanted to let everyone know that I have read and considered everyone's comments and I apologize for not taking more time to respond to everyone individually. I may still get to it but please be assured that I value every comment I receive.
What I had noticed emerging was a common idea that I needed to have a talk with my wife to discuss my concerns. I said I was afraid to do this, but I could not articulate why. After deep reflection it became apparent to me that while I really did not like the spankings, I really liked my marriage in every other respect. The spankings were so infrequent and even with the one before New Years that left me in tears, I still do not consider them abusive. When I hear about all the other problems many marriages are experiencing I came to the conclusion that if this is the worst thing that happens to me I should consider myself lucky. I guess my fear is that in the attempt to correct the one thing I do not like about my marriage I could screw up all the things that work.
The spanking I got before New Years was pretty severe and left me crying for the first time. It upset me and I think it upset my wife. It was so emotional that I was beginning to think that it may have been my last spanking. This last Sunday I found out that was not the case and I once again got a spanking. I will certainly take the time to write up all the details for you but I will quickly share this. The spanking was no where near as severe as the one I got last time. In fact it was pretty mild as far as spankings go, however, I found myself crying again. I wasn't crying from the pain, but the humiliation and embarrassment and realization that my wife still felt that it was necessary to spank me like a child to get me to change my behavior. Do I feel I deserved the spanking? In relation to what were spanking offenses in the past, yes I deserved the spanking. Do I wish she wouldn't bare my bottom and spank me? Absolutely. Am I going to call the cops on her, divorce her, leave her? Absolutely not. Am I going to talk to her about it and see if I can get her to agree to stop. I don't know, I honestly don't know.
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