My First Real Spanking Part 1

Well, I would like to thank everyone who waited patiently to hear the story of my first spanking. I think I set enough background information to get an understanding of the dynamic that developed in our relationship.   First off, I don't want anyone to get the impression that my wife is a control freak or that she makes and demands all kinds of strange things, but that said, there were a few things that were made clear to me before we got married.

First, for whatever reason, she preferred that I wear tighty whities instead of boxers.  For the most part, I really didn't have too much of a problem with this as I would have probably worn a thong if I thought it would make me more sexy too her.  The only thing with the white briefs is that I don't get the impression that she is doing it to make me look sexy to her or at least those aren't the reasons she has given me.  She has always claimed that they are more hygienic, cheaper, easier to clean and other pragmatic reasons.  As for herself, she just wears cheap plain white panties so she certainly practices what she preaches.  Does she get sexual pleasure out of seeing me in tighty whities or does she get sexual pleasure out of making me wear them?  I don't know.

Second, while we were dating and during our engagement she dictated when and how we would get intimate with each other.  As the man trying to win my mate I was certainly respectful of her imposed boundaries and tried to show that I was driven by a genuine desire to get to know her and was just not being driven by pure lust.  I worked to control my animal urges to make sure that we got closer emotionally before we got closer physically.   Of course, now that we are married, there are no restrictions on our love making and I can initiate intimacy as much as she can.  Now that we are married we are equals in bed.

Finally, I did submit to her grounding while we were dating.  I mentioned that I was afraid not to take the grounding and one commentator asked what I was afraid of.  Quite honestly, I have never gotten this close to a woman before and I certainly didn't consider the grounding abusive and I was afraid that if she left me I would never find a woman I felt so connected to again.  Since we had become equals with regards to sex (sometimes I lead sometimes she does) I just assumed that incidents like the grounding were an artifact of the dating ritual and were also going to be a thing of the past.  On that note, I found out I was wrong.

I hesitate to share some of these details as I don't want to give away too much personal information, but I think it helps to understand the complete picture.  While we dating I lived in a very small 1 bedroom "house" way out in the out skirts of a large city.  She had an apartment right downtown.  I was making about $75K and she was making $180K.  I don't necessarily consider her smarter or more successful than me but credit her higher salary to the fact that she works in the city where the cost of living is much higher and I work about an hour away where the cost of living is a lot lower.   When we got married we agreed to sell my house and buy a bigger house so we now live in one of the better suburbs about 40 minutes from the city which puts me about 30 minutes from my job, but we have a really nice 4BR, dream house to show for it.

In spite of the fact that she earns more than me, she never once implied that this gave her more authority than me and we always seemed to be equals in any financial decision, but we did have a strict budget as the mortgage and property taxes were pretty hefty compared to what I was paying on the old house (which I acquired when my grandmother past away) but selling it did give us the down payment on the new house.  My wife had some pretty decent savings, but she paid for the wedding so while we didn't count every penny from a financial standpoint we were pretty even despite the salary difference.  Now I did let her set up the budget as she seemed to have better skill at that than I did but we agreed to it mutually.

So far the marriage seemed to be going well and we had a true partnership forming with a strong and loving bond forming between us, but the honeymoon was soon to be over.

It started when the property taxes were coming due.   My wife had written out the hefty check for the property taxes about a week before they were due and left them in an envelope on the counter.   It was a Saturday and I was going out with some friends and she was meeting some of hers.  I was just on my way out saw the envelope and asked her if she wanted me to mail it for her.  She replied that she was going to mail it when she went out later but if I wanted to mail it that would be appreciated.  So I took the envelope tucked it into the visor of my car and planned to drop it off when I drove past the post office.  Now I realize I could have just popped it into the mailbox in front of our house and put the flag up, but I felt safer dropping them into the box at the post office as that is what I usually did with the taxes on my old house.  Anyway before I got to the post office my phone rang.  It was the friend I was on my way to meet and I took the call and because I was distracted with the call I forgot to stop at the post office.  By the time I realized my mistake, I decided I was too close to my friends house so I would just mail the taxes on the way back.  Anyway by the time I was on my way back I had forgotten  the envelope was there.   One week and 3 days later we got a notice from the town about our overdue property taxes and what the new amount due (taxes + penalty ) was and when that was due and what they would be if we missed that date.  I walked in to find my wife holding the letter looking at me confused.  At first she was cursing out the town because 'we had paid these already' and concluded there was a clerical error in the clerk's office.  My heart skipped a beat as I realized the taxes we still sitting in an envelope in the visor of my car.

"Honey", my voice croaked, "actually I forgot to mail the taxes in that day."

She paused looked at me and replied, "What day did you finally mail them?"

"Actually, I just realized they are still sitting on the visor of my car."  She became a little annoyed with me and snapped back.

"How could you have them up there for a week and not remember to mail them?"

I was a little taken back by the accusation so I snapped back, "Look I just forgot, like you never forget anything.  Its no big deal.  We will pay them now, stop making a federal case out of this and chill out.  Here I did you a favor by offering to mail them and instead I get grief from you because I forgot."

Immediately she stood up and walked towards me took a deep breath obviously trying to control the anger building in her then spoke calmly, but firmly, "this is the problem with you.  Every time you make a mistake you look for an excuse.  You never take responsibility for your actions.  It is always someone else's fault or some things else's fault.  You will never improve or get better unless you take responsibility for your actions"

I should of taken the hint, in some ways she was right, I still didn't want to just stand there and take the criticism so I again lashed out and started rambling off excuses starting with how I got distracted with the phone call.  Before I could even finish she lashed out a little less calm this time.

"Wait!", she yelled, "you are actually going to stand here and tell me that the reason the taxes are late is because you were on the cell phone while you were driving?  You are really doing to make that your excuse?  You are not supposed to be using your phone while your driving anyway and now you are admitting to me that is the reason the taxes are late?"

Still not getting it I then launched into a argument about the BS cell phone laws, how I am safe driver, how those laws only exist to make money for the government, blah blah blah.

"Enough!", she really yelled this time.  "you sound like a child with all your excuses.  When are you going to grow up and take responsibility for yourself?  I should take you over my knee and spank your bottom like a naughty boy.  Maybe that would get through to you?"

The words caught me completely off guard.  I don't know if she meant them or not, but they surprised me and I didn't know how to react.  To this day I can't help but wonder if I have just laughed at her and told her how ridiculous that sounded things might not have gone the way they ended up going.  Instead, an image of me laying over my mother knees, a flashback if you will of me laying over my mother's knees pants and underpants at my ankles filled my mind and I stood there silent for just a few seconds.  I believe it was what some of the comments on this board have said was my implied consent, but I was not consenting.  True I didn't immediately protest, but I now believe my moment of silence indicated to her, that she had found something that stopped my back talk and arguing.  It was something that made me stop and think about my actions.  It hit a primal nerve, the same primal nerve my mother was trying to reach (through my backside apparently) whenever all other methods of discipline had failed.  Spanking was never my mother's first choice and I was probably only spanked about 5 times in my childhood, but they were all very memorable experiences.  My wife had either intentionally or accidentally taped into those same experiences to break me from my argumentative mood.

Before I could speak, she continued, "I think a spanking is just what you need to realize how childish you have been behaving."  She grabbed my wrist and started to pull me towards the stairs.  I did pull back and stop her but she yanked on me quickly and I briefly lost my balance and stumbled forward.  She then grabbed my upper arm and told me to go upstairs to our bedroom.

I stood there and replied "No, I am not a child and you are not going to spank me."

She looked back at me and said, "Well, whether you realize it or not you are acting like a child  Trust me, you will be spanked before this night is over.  I want you to be a man but if you are going to act like a child then I am going to treat you like one.  You are going to get a spanking from me and you are going to learn from it."

My mind was going a million miles an hour and was totally confused by the turn of events.  One thing was certain and somehow I knew it at the time.  My wife was right.  Before the night was over, I was going to be spanked.

To be Continued....

Back From The Sick

Well, I am just getting over being sick and haven't had a lot of time to read all the comments and write, but I will start doing that now.

Something interesting happened while I was sick.  On Monday I started feeling nauseous and came home from work early.  By the time my wife came home I had thrown up and was really out of it in bed.  She came in to check on me and found me still in my street clothes so she undressed me down to my briefs and tucked me into bed.  She said I felt very hot then left the room.   When she came back into the room she told me that she figured that since I was throwing up she might need some items from the drug store and then told me she wanted to take my temperature rectally and that she bought an extra digital thermometer that can be used if either of us needed to have a rectal temperature taken.  I was too sick to argue so I let her roll me over and pull my underpants down to my knees.  She took my temperature then announced that it was almost 102,  She then told me she was going to give me an ibuprofen suppository that she also bought at the drug store since I would just throw up anything she gave me by mouth.  I let her do what she needed to do then she pulled my underpants back up and let me sleep.

I woke up the next morning feeling better, but tired and weak and she waited on me hand and foot before heading into her office a little late.  She also wanted to take my temperature again, but this time she went to take it in my mouth as I no longer seemed to be throwing up.     It was just about 100 and she asked if she could think I could tolerate taken an ibuprofen by mouth.  I thought about it but then said, I was worried it would upset my stomach.  She then got the suppositories back out pulled my briefs down and proceeded to administer another dose.

Now here is what I have to admit.  While I was sick I really didn't think too much about what was happening, now that I am better I find the memory of her pulling my pants down to take my temperature and give me a suppository to be, well, erotic.  Looking back on it, I enjoyed it.  I have been thinking about this ever since it happened and I reluctantly have to admit, that there is a submissive streak in me.  I liked her exposing me like that and making me feel all weak and vulnerable in front of her while she took care of me.  I think that was the real reason I took the suppository the second time and was a little disappointed that she took the second temperature orally.

During our sex play, she has "probed" me in that location and I did enjoy that as well, but then I have also "probed" her as well, but that was different, that was sex.  This was not sex and yet I found it erotic.  I believe this is what some of the other people I have read about must feel about being spanked.  So while I have no desired to be spanked (and actually have not been spanked since I started this blog) I wouldn't mind having my temperature taken rectally again, I just don't want to puke my brains out again to get it done.  I still feel a little weak even now.

Anyway, since I know many of you would like to hear about my spankings I will share a few stories with you once I feel a little better.  I will also try to read through and reply to some of your comments.  Thanks.

My First "Punishement"

Well, I think at this point I have given enough background information to set the stage of how our relationship has been developing to discuss my first "punishment."  This is not the story of my first "spanking" but rather a punishment of a different sorts.

First off, before I get into the meat of this story I want to make a few things clear.

Although I have no desire to be spanked or punished in any way, I am conflicted with regards to whether or not I am being "abused."  Yes, I am a man and I realize that unless I somehow desire or enjoy being spanked I should just walk away from this marriage, but a part of me is afraid to do that.  I think this topic is important and sensitive and  deserves its own post. For now I will table this discussion as I definitely have some strong feelings about it and want to make sure I am in the right mood to write it all out.

By now it should be clear that my wife/girlfriend slowly developed my dependence on her.  The commitment to no pre-marital sex, allowing her to decide when, where and how we became more intimate and allowing her to make me switch to briefs from boxers.  I desired none of these things but at the same time did not feel strongly enough about them to walk away from the relationship.  I think she knew this.  I loved her and she loved me.  We really did care for each other and we enjoyed doing so many wholesome and non-sexual things together that are relationship was and is so much more than underwear and spankings.  I only am blogging about these things because I feel it is a very unique situation or at least I have not found anyone else willing to discuss it.

Every other blog I read it is clear that the relationship is driven by some underlying sexual fantasy.  I do not know if my wife gets any sexual pleasure from punishing me.  If she does I have not seen any evidence of it. I read stories of husbands getting spanked every day, sometime severely for minor infractions.  I read of men being forced into panties, dresses or diapers and stories of being tied up, wearing chastity devices, butt plugs or various other punishments.  Clearly the diversity of sexual relations is as diverse as the human race itself and that is just fine as long as both parties do it as consenting adults.

Yes we have an active and healthy sex life and we enjoy each others intimacy in many ways beyond sex.  While we are not prudes I can not say that we rise to the level of the 'kink' in some of these other relationships which is why I am uncertain of the role spanking plays in our sex life.  Certainly anything involving the erogenous zones can be considered sexual, especially between a husband and wife, I don't associate it with sex before, during or after a spanking.

Finally, when I am punished or spanked they are tempered with moderation and caring and a desire to modify behavior.  I am reluctant to admit this, but it is very much they way a parent would punish a child.   Not with a desire to hurt or embarrass, although pain and embarrassment are part of the punishment, but with a desire to improve and modify behavior.  Thinking about it in those terms makes me shudder slightly.  I am her husband, not her child.  She does not treat me like a child, but when she feels I have earned punishment, that is they way it seems to be.

I will certainly come back to these complex themes later, but for now I will share the story of how I was first punished.

First off, what did I do?  Simple, speeding.

We were on our way back from a dinner out.  I was wearing my "lucky briefs" and was hoping that they would bring me luck and there would be some fooling around when we got back to her apartment.  Twice during the drive she had asked me, "How fast are you going?  The speed limit is 45 here and there are some blind curves and some dangerous intersections."  I acknowledged her concern both time, but really wasn't paying attention. Then it happened, the flashing lights in the rear view mirror.

"Where the hell did he come from?" I cursed.

I pulled to the side and rolled down my window.  "I really don't need this shit right now." I bitched, already thinking of the fine, court date, insurance and all the wonderful things that go along with a speeding ticket.  My girl just sat there silently looking straight ahead.  I could tell she was not happy.

I don't get stopped often, in fact I had a pretty clean record at the time with no tickets but I can tell you, the worst time is when you first get stopped and before the officer approaches the window.  You know they are back there either on their computer or radio checking your plate so they have some idea of who they are approaching before they get out of the car.  You sit there waiting to see if the cop is in a good mood or some dickhead with an attitude who just enjoys busting the hump of some poor hapless SOB who innocently violates some obscure traffic law.

Finally the flashlight at the window, "Good evening sir, officer <so and so> with the <blah blah> Police Department.  The reason I stopped you was for your speed.  I clocked you doing 63 in a 45.  Is there any lawful reason for your speed tonight?"

How do you answer a question like that.  I am sure they lawyers know just how to answer that but I went into kiss ass mode.  "No, officer, sorry officer, didn't realize I was going that fast, no excuse etc."

Well it was license, registration, insurance, sit here and I will be right back.

While we were waiting for him to come back I again started complaining, things like, this sucks, money making BS, legal robbery, etc.  stealing from the working people, speed trap etc.  The whole time my girlfriend remained silent.

Again, the flashlight at the window.  "Mr. <yadda yadda>, here is your license, registration, proof of insurance back.  The speed limit on this road is 45.  It is a very dangerous road and just last night we had an accident out here with injuries.  Speed is almost always a factor in these accidents.  I really don't want to be pulling you out of a ditch, but I also don't feel like issuing you a $240 dollar ticket.  Your record is clean so I am going to let you go with a warning, but be more attentive to the speed limit.  I am out here often and if I see you doing 46 out here I am going to stop you and cite you.  Have a good night and drive safely."

Wow, what luck.  I got away with it.  So I drove home and was elated but still complained about the "speed trap" and speculated that perhaps he didn't have a good radar hit so let me go with a warning.  I also complained about him "being out there often" harassing "law abiding citizens"

It was then she finally spoke up, " If you are speeding then you are not a law abiding citizen."

The accusation and sudden breaking of the silence caught me off guard.  "What are you going to compare speeding with murder?  And like you never speed.?"

She raised her voice a slight tone of anger in it, "I don't know the last time we had a murder here, but more people get killed in car accidents, so yes I will compare it with murder.  Yes, I do exceed the posted speed limit sometimes, perhaps doing 70 on the interstate where it is only 65 or maybe doing 50 in a 40, but doing 63 in a 45 on a road that I already told you twice was dangerous?  You don't get it do you?  This is not about a speed trap, this is about you not taking responsibility for your actions.  It is not the cop's fault for stopping you.  Its yours for driving like a jerk.  I bet you a dozen cars past him at 50 or even 55 miles an hour before you came zooming by at 63.  Then he gives you a warning thinking you are a reasonable person who would learn from this experience, but instead your still complaining about it.  Don't go to my house, lets drive to yours instead."

We sat there silently as I finished the ride home.  I was not sure why she wanted to go to my house.  When I had my car we usually went to her house and after we "spent the night" I would drive myself home.  I am not sure that this turn of events meant, but somehow I wasn't feeling "lucky" anymore.  When we got to my house, she got out and we both walked up and went in.  As soon as we were inside, she ordered me to "sit down" so I did while she stood over me.

I then got re-lectured on taking responsibility, safe driving, respect for the law, even if I didn't agree with it  but the worst was when she finished with, "and putting my life in danger."  That last part hurt.  I would never put her life in danger, would I?

"So here is the deal.", she started,  "Since you got away with a warning, but apparently didn't learn your lesson I am going to punish you."  What did I here that right?  "You are grounded.  You are going to give me your car keys and I am going to drive myself home.  You may leave the house only to go to work tomorrow and you will either take a taxi or the bus as I won't be able to drive you tomorrow I have a meeting to go to   If you want to I will pick you up after work and drive you home or you may take a taxi or bus again.  Just call me and let me know what you plan to do.  I can drive you to and from work the rest of the week.  Any questions?"

In looking back it is hard to say how I felt.  This was clearly a test and the "any questions" statement at the end was the time for me to tell her to get lost and call a cab for herself and never call me again.  I am sure that is exactly what any other man would have done.  Who the hell did she think she was telling me I was grounded like a teenager?  The problem was, I loved her and knew she loved me.  She was clearly angry and at that moment in time I reluctantly admitted she was not entirely wrong.  I should have been more grateful for the warning I got, but what really stopped me from telling her to take a hike and refusing to play along was the "endangering her life" comment.  I certainly had no intention of hurting her or myself for that matter.  I know we all feel that accidents happen to other people, no one deliberately gets into an accidents, that's why they are called accidents.  I guess otherwise they would be called purposes.  I sat there thinking about her "request" and at the time I did see it as a request and not an order and decided to comply with her request.

I handed her the keys and said, "OK, if this is what it is going to take to make you feel better than fine, I am 'grounded' for how long?"

"A week.  Until then, its work then right home.  You are not to leave this house except in a life threatening emergency otherwise you call me and I will let you know if you can leave the house."

So for the next week, she drove me back and forth to work, except for that first day.  personally, I don't really think she wasn't able to drive me that first day, I think that was part of the punishment to take a cab.   She drove me to the grocery store once to let me get food for the week, but other than that she drove me home, dropped me off and I sat in my house the whole week not being together with her.   When she picked me up at the end of the week she handed me the keys and said, "You can drive me to my apartment."

I drove over to her apartment very carefully obeying every law We spent the night together in her apartment.  Good thing I remembered to wear my lucky underpants.