My First "Punishement"

Well, I think at this point I have given enough background information to set the stage of how our relationship has been developing to discuss my first "punishment."  This is not the story of my first "spanking" but rather a punishment of a different sorts.

First off, before I get into the meat of this story I want to make a few things clear.

Although I have no desire to be spanked or punished in any way, I am conflicted with regards to whether or not I am being "abused."  Yes, I am a man and I realize that unless I somehow desire or enjoy being spanked I should just walk away from this marriage, but a part of me is afraid to do that.  I think this topic is important and sensitive and  deserves its own post. For now I will table this discussion as I definitely have some strong feelings about it and want to make sure I am in the right mood to write it all out.

By now it should be clear that my wife/girlfriend slowly developed my dependence on her.  The commitment to no pre-marital sex, allowing her to decide when, where and how we became more intimate and allowing her to make me switch to briefs from boxers.  I desired none of these things but at the same time did not feel strongly enough about them to walk away from the relationship.  I think she knew this.  I loved her and she loved me.  We really did care for each other and we enjoyed doing so many wholesome and non-sexual things together that are relationship was and is so much more than underwear and spankings.  I only am blogging about these things because I feel it is a very unique situation or at least I have not found anyone else willing to discuss it.

Every other blog I read it is clear that the relationship is driven by some underlying sexual fantasy.  I do not know if my wife gets any sexual pleasure from punishing me.  If she does I have not seen any evidence of it. I read stories of husbands getting spanked every day, sometime severely for minor infractions.  I read of men being forced into panties, dresses or diapers and stories of being tied up, wearing chastity devices, butt plugs or various other punishments.  Clearly the diversity of sexual relations is as diverse as the human race itself and that is just fine as long as both parties do it as consenting adults.

Yes we have an active and healthy sex life and we enjoy each others intimacy in many ways beyond sex.  While we are not prudes I can not say that we rise to the level of the 'kink' in some of these other relationships which is why I am uncertain of the role spanking plays in our sex life.  Certainly anything involving the erogenous zones can be considered sexual, especially between a husband and wife, I don't associate it with sex before, during or after a spanking.

Finally, when I am punished or spanked they are tempered with moderation and caring and a desire to modify behavior.  I am reluctant to admit this, but it is very much they way a parent would punish a child.   Not with a desire to hurt or embarrass, although pain and embarrassment are part of the punishment, but with a desire to improve and modify behavior.  Thinking about it in those terms makes me shudder slightly.  I am her husband, not her child.  She does not treat me like a child, but when she feels I have earned punishment, that is they way it seems to be.

I will certainly come back to these complex themes later, but for now I will share the story of how I was first punished.

First off, what did I do?  Simple, speeding.

We were on our way back from a dinner out.  I was wearing my "lucky briefs" and was hoping that they would bring me luck and there would be some fooling around when we got back to her apartment.  Twice during the drive she had asked me, "How fast are you going?  The speed limit is 45 here and there are some blind curves and some dangerous intersections."  I acknowledged her concern both time, but really wasn't paying attention. Then it happened, the flashing lights in the rear view mirror.

"Where the hell did he come from?" I cursed.

I pulled to the side and rolled down my window.  "I really don't need this shit right now." I bitched, already thinking of the fine, court date, insurance and all the wonderful things that go along with a speeding ticket.  My girl just sat there silently looking straight ahead.  I could tell she was not happy.

I don't get stopped often, in fact I had a pretty clean record at the time with no tickets but I can tell you, the worst time is when you first get stopped and before the officer approaches the window.  You know they are back there either on their computer or radio checking your plate so they have some idea of who they are approaching before they get out of the car.  You sit there waiting to see if the cop is in a good mood or some dickhead with an attitude who just enjoys busting the hump of some poor hapless SOB who innocently violates some obscure traffic law.

Finally the flashlight at the window, "Good evening sir, officer <so and so> with the <blah blah> Police Department.  The reason I stopped you was for your speed.  I clocked you doing 63 in a 45.  Is there any lawful reason for your speed tonight?"

How do you answer a question like that.  I am sure they lawyers know just how to answer that but I went into kiss ass mode.  "No, officer, sorry officer, didn't realize I was going that fast, no excuse etc."

Well it was license, registration, insurance, sit here and I will be right back.

While we were waiting for him to come back I again started complaining, things like, this sucks, money making BS, legal robbery, etc.  stealing from the working people, speed trap etc.  The whole time my girlfriend remained silent.

Again, the flashlight at the window.  "Mr. <yadda yadda>, here is your license, registration, proof of insurance back.  The speed limit on this road is 45.  It is a very dangerous road and just last night we had an accident out here with injuries.  Speed is almost always a factor in these accidents.  I really don't want to be pulling you out of a ditch, but I also don't feel like issuing you a $240 dollar ticket.  Your record is clean so I am going to let you go with a warning, but be more attentive to the speed limit.  I am out here often and if I see you doing 46 out here I am going to stop you and cite you.  Have a good night and drive safely."

Wow, what luck.  I got away with it.  So I drove home and was elated but still complained about the "speed trap" and speculated that perhaps he didn't have a good radar hit so let me go with a warning.  I also complained about him "being out there often" harassing "law abiding citizens"

It was then she finally spoke up, " If you are speeding then you are not a law abiding citizen."

The accusation and sudden breaking of the silence caught me off guard.  "What are you going to compare speeding with murder?  And like you never speed.?"

She raised her voice a slight tone of anger in it, "I don't know the last time we had a murder here, but more people get killed in car accidents, so yes I will compare it with murder.  Yes, I do exceed the posted speed limit sometimes, perhaps doing 70 on the interstate where it is only 65 or maybe doing 50 in a 40, but doing 63 in a 45 on a road that I already told you twice was dangerous?  You don't get it do you?  This is not about a speed trap, this is about you not taking responsibility for your actions.  It is not the cop's fault for stopping you.  Its yours for driving like a jerk.  I bet you a dozen cars past him at 50 or even 55 miles an hour before you came zooming by at 63.  Then he gives you a warning thinking you are a reasonable person who would learn from this experience, but instead your still complaining about it.  Don't go to my house, lets drive to yours instead."

We sat there silently as I finished the ride home.  I was not sure why she wanted to go to my house.  When I had my car we usually went to her house and after we "spent the night" I would drive myself home.  I am not sure that this turn of events meant, but somehow I wasn't feeling "lucky" anymore.  When we got to my house, she got out and we both walked up and went in.  As soon as we were inside, she ordered me to "sit down" so I did while she stood over me.

I then got re-lectured on taking responsibility, safe driving, respect for the law, even if I didn't agree with it  but the worst was when she finished with, "and putting my life in danger."  That last part hurt.  I would never put her life in danger, would I?

"So here is the deal.", she started,  "Since you got away with a warning, but apparently didn't learn your lesson I am going to punish you."  What did I here that right?  "You are grounded.  You are going to give me your car keys and I am going to drive myself home.  You may leave the house only to go to work tomorrow and you will either take a taxi or the bus as I won't be able to drive you tomorrow I have a meeting to go to   If you want to I will pick you up after work and drive you home or you may take a taxi or bus again.  Just call me and let me know what you plan to do.  I can drive you to and from work the rest of the week.  Any questions?"

In looking back it is hard to say how I felt.  This was clearly a test and the "any questions" statement at the end was the time for me to tell her to get lost and call a cab for herself and never call me again.  I am sure that is exactly what any other man would have done.  Who the hell did she think she was telling me I was grounded like a teenager?  The problem was, I loved her and knew she loved me.  She was clearly angry and at that moment in time I reluctantly admitted she was not entirely wrong.  I should have been more grateful for the warning I got, but what really stopped me from telling her to take a hike and refusing to play along was the "endangering her life" comment.  I certainly had no intention of hurting her or myself for that matter.  I know we all feel that accidents happen to other people, no one deliberately gets into an accidents, that's why they are called accidents.  I guess otherwise they would be called purposes.  I sat there thinking about her "request" and at the time I did see it as a request and not an order and decided to comply with her request.

I handed her the keys and said, "OK, if this is what it is going to take to make you feel better than fine, I am 'grounded' for how long?"

"A week.  Until then, its work then right home.  You are not to leave this house except in a life threatening emergency otherwise you call me and I will let you know if you can leave the house."

So for the next week, she drove me back and forth to work, except for that first day.  personally, I don't really think she wasn't able to drive me that first day, I think that was part of the punishment to take a cab.   She drove me to the grocery store once to let me get food for the week, but other than that she drove me home, dropped me off and I sat in my house the whole week not being together with her.   When she picked me up at the end of the week she handed me the keys and said, "You can drive me to my apartment."

I drove over to her apartment very carefully obeying every law We spent the night together in her apartment.  Good thing I remembered to wear my lucky underpants.