Well as I previously mentioned, so far this summer has been going very well and it has been quite a while since I was last spanked. I did have that incident where my wife felt I was borderline and make me undress to my underpants as a warning and that freaked me out, but otherwise the summer has been going very well.
Here it is almost August and now the goal of remaining spank free until October does not seem so unreasonable. I am getting more and more confident that I will be wearing boxers to my next physical. I just hope I am not getting too confident and I do try to remain vigilant that I avoid the behaviors that get me spanked.
Now I keep getting comments that getting spanked in front of Sarah will not be the end of the world, except for one comment that it looks like my fears would be justified (thanks for your patience I will take time to respond to all the comments soon) I am sorry, but the thought of having to wear briefs to my next physical is really embarrassing and I find dealing with that hard enough where at least would not be out of the question. While I realize I am in the minority, I am sure there are many other men who still wear tighty whities and probably even wear them to their physicals. So my wife is probably right when she says the doctor and nurse will not care, but I do. I want to wear boxers and perhaps that is why I find this so difficult. In my mind, showing up wearing briefs bothers me because I want to wear boxers and am wearing briefs only because that is what my wife wants me to wear. It is a subtle daily reminder of the authority she exerts over me. Perhaps that is why I find them embarrassing.
Anyway, given the good behavior I have been demonstrating I decided to ask my wife to let me begin wearing boxers. I would even acknowledge that I would return to briefs if my behavior did not meet her standards. I thought this was a reasonable request, but I was surprised at her response.
Her response was, "I understand you wanting to wear boxers for your next doctor's appointment and we already discussed that I would allow that if I did not have to spank you before your next appointment. So tell me, who are you planning to show your underpants to that you feel the need to wear boxers?"
I was at a loss for words. I wanted to wear boxers just because I wanted to wear boxers. They made me feel more manly. I had no intention of showing them to anybody. I didn't even like showing them to the doctor and nurse, but that was necessary. I was too embarrassed to admit that briefs simply made me feel like a child and I just wanted to wear boxers, but knowing my wife, she was more respectful of intellectual arguments and lacked sympathy for emotional arguments that led to 'silly decisions' as she would say. I struggled to come up with an intellectual argument and blurted out that they were simply "more comfortable" and that the briefs "were too constricting" I also reassured her that I had no intention of parading around in my underpants, boxers or briefs.
She paused for a few seconds, then shocked me with the following response, "well, you have two pair. I want to keep one pair new for your doctor's appointment. The other pair you wore at your last appointment are washed and put away. I tell you what. Tomorrow you may wear the washed pair and we will see how you feel about them. But, boxers are a lot more expensive than briefs so if you really want to make the switch, you will need to budget and save up for them."
I was ecstatic and hopeful for many reasons. The first was her keeping a new pair for my physical meant that she had confidence that I would be able to reach my goal of being spank free until October. Second, she accepted my argument and was going to allow me boxers full time. I was looking so forward to writing this and sharing this with the blog, but before I could even write this up, the "trial" did not go so well.
On Sunday, I got to wear my boxers. Well it had been years since I last wore them, other than the brief time I had them on for my physical, and to tell you the truth, they were not that comfortable. My wife kept catching me 'adjusting' myself, picking at the seat of my pants, wiggling while I was sitting and other signs that I was not comfortable in the boxers. She kept challenging on this and I just replied that I was not used to them.
"I thought you said you wanted them because they are more comfortable? You do not look comfortable at all:, she challenged.
"I am just not used to them, that's all." I replied.
"Well, if you don't stop pulling at them by dinner time, I think you need to be mature about this and admit that they are really not as comfortable as briefs are."
Well, dinner time came and I could not help myself. I kept pulling and adjusting myself to the point where my wife indicated she had had enough and I was to go upstairs and change into my briefs. I begged her for another chance, but my request fell on dear ears, so I trudged upstairs and changed into my briefs.
She giveth and she taketh away.
Oh well, at least I tried. At least I will still get to wear them to my physical in October, that offer still stands.
I really enjoy reading your blog (although I wish you would respond to our comments more)
ReplyDeleteIn a previous comment you disagreed with a reader when he said that you were in a Female Led Marriage. Why do you think you are NOT in a Wife Led Marriage? Your wife is in charge of your discipline. She spanks you, she grounds you, she makes you strip and do work around the house in just your underwear, she has stated that she WILL SPANK YOU in front of Sarah if you misbehave, she decides what underwear you will wear on a daily basis and she may "allow" you to wear boxers to the Doctors office "if you behave". This is a Wife Led Marriage.
It seems to me that she is clearly "in charge". She is the boss and you are the submissive partner. Please don't get me wrong...I don't see anything wrong with your marriage. I too am in a Wife Led Marriage" and I love my wife more everyday.
She spanks me when I deserve it. (and yes, she has done so in front of someone else) She also uses other forms of discipline when she feels it appropriate, I have been grounded, I have lost TV and computer privileges, I do corner time and have been given extra chores for misbehaviour. She also controls my orgasm's and adds extra days or weeks between orgasms when I disobey.
You may be interested to know that she also tells me what kind of underwear I can wear and boxers are never allowed. So, I am not judging you are all since we have much in common. I am just saying that the sooner you come to terms with being in a Wife Led Marriage the easier it will be on you. Being a submissive hubby to a Dominant Wife can be a blessing...embrace it!
As I mentioned to you in past comments it was 100% my Wife's idea to start spanking me. I had never even heard of such a thing before she took me over her knee for the first time. But I am soooo happy and love my Wife more every day.
BTY, I hope you get to wear boxers to your Doctor's office since it seems to mean a great deal to you. (but just like you, it has been so long since I have been allowed to wear boxers on a regular basis that any time I try them on, I now find then rather uncomfortable)
Tom
Thanks for the comments. The reason I do not feel I am in FLR is because when I read the other blogs and stories the wife is in charge of everything. She dictates the finances, when sex happens, what to eat, when the husband can go out. For us, we have an equal marriage EXCEPT when I screw up. Then and only then does she punish me. I focus on the boxer/brief issue because that is a disagreement where she prevailed, but there have been disagreements where I have prevailed concerning the type of car we would purchase and other arguments. So with the single exception that she punishes me when I screw up our marriage is a partnership.
ReplyDeleteBut the elephant in the room, as far as your marriage goes, is that she can and does spank you whenever, as you say, you screw up. She decides when a "screw up" has occurred, not you. And, for whatever reason, you always submit when you are told that you will be spanked. In short, your wife has total hairbrush power over you in any matter that she wants to have power over you. The fact that it is not over everything is also her decision, not yours, it seems. You may see what you have as an equal marriage, but try correcting her with a hairbrush sometime as see how far this gets you.
ReplyDeleteYes there is some inequality inherent in any marriage where one partner has authority to punish or discipline the other. But within that framework there is a lot of variation ranging from true FLR’s where wife commands and hubby obeys ALWAYS to basically equal relationships where discipline is just one of the tasks divided up. In my marriage my wife is in charge of discipline meaning when I break a serious rule, exhibit a bad attitude I have been warned about or fail to tell the truth I am punished and it has been that way since we dated in college. But while I regularly find myself over her knee I am also the leader on many maybe most major decisions including all of the finances and much of what we do or go. There is a tendency to categorize disciplinary relationships as all or nothing but most are more nuanced. Reading this blog I feel our author is in a basically equal relationship in which tacitly he has agreed to accept discipline from his wife that he more or less deserves and needs. I think his wife has some very specific behavior goals in mind and when she reaches them spanking will decrease dramatically of stop altogether. Somehow she discovered or guessed that bare bottom spanking would have a powerful effect on him. But she wants an equal relationship with a mature husband she can rely upon and that is what this is all about
ReplyDeleteI agree with the above comment. Whether or not we are in a FLR-type of marriage is not the isssue. She likes the way I cook (as well as not having to take care of meals!) and I get spanked only when I burn the roast :-)
ReplyDeleteSimilarly, I am asssigned a number of household chores (typically over the weekend) that I am expected to perform in a skimpy attire - i.e. wearing only a maid's apron that leaves my backside exposed to a swift paddling or flogging if she is dissatisfied with my work...
Other midemeanors are dealt with in accordance with their seriousness, and may involve lashing (with the martinet), flogging (with the maple switches I am required to bring her twice a month), strapping, or caning...
If needed (but infrequently!) I may be spanked - bare-bottomed! - under the eyes of her sister, or of one of her close female friends...
I'm a little late to comment, but I just discovered this blog and have been reading from the start. I am going to say one thing only: You ARE in a FLR.
ReplyDeleteYour wife is leading this relationship the way she wants to. She does dot want to handle all those desicions that you use as evidence of not being in an FLR. She wants your participation, and that's the reason you participate. I assure you that with the power she has already demonstrated, if she wanted to control any of those areas, she already would.
I also believe her when she says that she doesn't want to spank you either, but has decided that it is necesary for you. Believe me, if she wanted to spank you at any time, for any reason, or for no reason at all, she could do it. You would not stop her. She knows it, and deep down, you know it too.
This is an FLR if I have ever seen one. It doesn't stop being one just because it is diferent from what you see online. Your wife sets the rules, and they are few, but they are HER rules, and when you break them, you get the reward that she has instituted.
Now, I said more than I intended...
Good luck with your relationship.