It started when we had a cook out at our house and we had a few friends and neighbors over. Some were friends of mine, some of hers. Yes, Sarah was there, but this particular story does not involve her. At one point during the day, I was sitting with a friend of mine and was telling some politically incorrect jokes. You know the types of jokes I am referring to. They could be making fun of an ethnicity like Polish, Irish, Jewish jokes, they could be making fun of a profession like doctors, lawyers or engineers, etc, physical traits like being blonde, fat or ugly, jokes about gender like being a man, woman or misc. Jokes about religion or jokes about political affiliation, liberal or conservative. Jokes that by there very nature are design, in someway to offend, but in a funny manner.
We probably all have some category of joke that we fit into and as I contemplated writing this I decided that I would not get specific as to the exact type of jokes I was telling because I don't think it should matter. If I was to say what kind of joke I was telling then perhaps your opinion would be different if you were in the category of the joke I was telling. I find it very disingenuous when someone laughs at all kinds of jokes, but then suddenly gets offended when a joke is told that makes fun of their background. I will say this, I laugh at the jokes that are told about my ethnicity and cultural background if they are told in jest. There is a difference between telling a joke and making an insult.
In my case, I was having some good natured fun with one of my friends and telling jokes about HIS background and he was replying with jokes about mine and we were having a good laugh at each other's expense. Sometime later I was in the house bringing in some dirty dishes and bring out more food when my wife came up to me.
"We you telling so jokes earlier that were offensive?" she asked.
"No, why do you ask?" I replied, not considering the jokes I was telling as offensive per se.
" Well, (male guest of one of her friends), said you were telling (fill in the blank) jokes and you know he is (fill in the blank) and took offense at them."
"So what? First off, I was telling those jokes to (friend of mine I was telling the jokes to) and he is also (fill in the blank) and he was not offended." I replied.
"Well, maybe but he was still offended you should go and apologize to him."
Well at this point I was a little pissed off. First, someone overhears a conversation that he was not a party to then complains to my wife instead of saying something to me, then expects me to apologize because he does not have sense of humor? To me apologizing implies that I have done something wrong. I did not see myself as doing anything wrong and still don't. If I tell a joke and someone gets offended that is not my fault. People seem to be looking for an excuse to be offended these days. Furthermore, all it would have taken was for him to be a man and to say to my face, sorry, but I don't find that funny. I might not have apologized, but I certainly wouldn't have continued to tell jokes where he could hear them. Instead he probably went crying to his girlfriend who went complaining to my wife. So here I was arguing with her.
I don't recall the exact words I used to make my argument, but her position was that it did not matter if I intended to offend. If someone found what I said offensive I should apologize. What was the big deal to apologize?
Again, I repeated that I would apologize if I did something wrong. I did nothing wrong. I was joking with a friend of mine. If he is offended by that then that is his problem not mine.
My wife then calmly said, "Are you going to apologize or do I need to deal with this when everyone leaves?"
At the time, I didn't make the connection. It had been months since I was last spanked and the idea that she was threatening me with a spanking never occurred to me. I must admit, if I knew she was going to spank me over this I might have apologized in protest to keep my record clean. I never would have thought she would have spanked me over telling jokes. She is usually a lot fairer than that. I simply thought we would defer the discussion until after our guests left. After all, we had to be good hosts and get back to our guests.
So I replied, "we can discuss this after everyone leaves."
"Are you sure that is what you want? You want me to deal with you after everyone has gone?"
"Yes." I replied missing the subtle warning.
"Very well, but it is a real shame that you just simply did not apologize.", and she turned and walked back out.
The rest of the party went off without incident.
After we finished cleaning up she said to me, "OK, now let's settle this failure to apologize business."
"Fine." I replied feeling pretty sure of my argument. She turned and walked up to our bedroom and I followed her, but by the time I got to our room she already had the hairbrush in her hands.
Without hesitation she looked at me and ordered, "Pull down your pants and underpants."
She was not mad, but calm and assertive. Both the command and the sight of the hairbrush in her hands shocked me. My heart began pounding in my chest and my stomach churned at the implication of the order I had been given. A tingle shot across my bottom and I felt my tiny penis shrivel in fear at the sight of her with the hairbrush. But after the initial shock I was insulted and offended. I was not going to let her spank me for telling jokes. I swallowed hard and with a dry mouth I slowly spoke up in my defense.
"This is not fair. I am not going to let you spank me for telling jokes."
"You are not being spanked for telling jokes. You are being spanked for not apologizing to one of our guests, now pull your pants and underpants down."
"No, I won't. I am not going to be spanked for this." I was a little defiant and scared. I never really defied my wife before. I was trembling and shaking, but also pretty cocksure of myself as I still felt that I was in the right. "This is not like the other times, I did nothing wrong, I am not going to be spanked for this."
"I am sorry that you don't think you did anything wrong. That more than anything is the reason you need to be spanked for this. If you had taken my advice and simply apologized like you were told we would not be here. You chose to be stubborn and childish about this so now you will be treated like the child you are. Pull down your pants and underpants, this is the last time I will ask."
I was really trembling and shaking. In some ways, I felt like I was going to pee my pants I was so scared, but I also felt she was wrong. My heart was pounding in my ears and my eyes were getting slightly watery, but again I asserted myself. "No, I am not going to be spanked for this."
With that she calmly placed the hairbrush on the dresser and slowly walked out of the room. I thought, wow that was easy. All it really took was to say no. I thought about all the long, painful and humiliating spankings I had endured from her and all I really ever had to do was to stand up and say no. I began thinking about the briefs I was wearing and concluded that all I had to do was buy boxers and simply tell her I was not wearing briefs anymore. It began to look like my days of embarrassment and humiliation were over, but before I could even completely calm back down she came in again. She was carrying a belt. Actually she was carrying the belt she used on me New Year's Eve. That dreaded belt. My stomach immediately started churning and again I felt like I was going to wet my pants with fear.
Without warning she walked up to me grabbed my arm yanked me so I turned partially away from her and she immediately whacked me hard with the belt across my shorts covered backside. I yelped at the suddenness of it and my eyes began to water up from the emotional roller-coaster I was on. I was going to be spanked once again. My clean streak was over.
After that one whack she released me and I instinctively reached back to rub the spot where she had hit me. I cursed myself for showing that reaction, but it was a reflex and I could not help myself. I looked at her shocked, but she was not mad. She was calm and in control and in some ways that frightened me more than if she was mad and out of control. If she was mad, then all I had to do was get her calm and she would be more rational. But she was calm and rational. This was not her lashing out in frustration or anger. She was totally in control and making it clear that I had a spanking coming.
"Pull down those pants and underpants now." she said in a firm but calm voice.
I could not believe this was happening, tears began to well up in my eyes, I remained assertive, but hints of doubt and pleading started to enter my words, "No," I said again almost crying. "I did not do anything wrong, you can't spank me." The words were half sobs in a begging sort of tone, but I was not saying please and not begging for reprieve. I was still making my case, still refusing to accept that I had committed a spankable offense.
"But you did do something wrong, you refused to correct your mistake and now you stand here defiant refusing to accept your punishment for that mistake." Again she quickly grabbed my arm, yanked me sideways and brought the belt across my backside again and letting me go. I felt a tear run down my cheek, but I fought back the desire to cry and tried to replace it with righteous indignation.
"I don't deserve to be spanked, you can't spank me!" I said still defiant, raising my voice to overcome the desire to cry. I then tried to stand up tall and proud hoping that she would realize that I was simply not wrong on this issue. My heart was pounding deep in my chest as I stared at her. I was waiting for her to grab my arm again and was prepared to pull away rather than let her get me turned around exposing my backside to her. She took a step towards me and I flinched in response. She shook her head back and forth in a 'no' motion clearly not happy with me.
"I am sorry that you do not see what you have done as wrong, but it is wrong and you will be spanked for this. Now pull down your pants and underpants and bend over the bed."
My heart was really pounding now and I was trembling with fear as my mouth went dry and I had a shiver that kept shooting all across my body feeling my testicles retract in fear in preparation for a fight. I was starting to have doubts. I thought for sure my defiance would help make my case. I was not going to pull my pants and underpants down. This was the moment I was always afraid of. What was she going to do? It was a battle of wills and I was not going to pull my pants down.
Quietly, barely a whisper, choking back hard as a lump filled my throat, one again I replied, "No."
She moved quickly, I saw her moving and expecting her to grab my arm once again I turned away to avoid her reach. Being slightly off balance she pushed me back onto the bed and I fell onto it. She had one arm across my chest and with the other she began to unbutton and unzip my shorts. I tried to stand back up but was shocked when I felt that I could not push up against her weight. My shorts were already unzipped and I felt them being pushed down but they were stuck underneath my bottom. As I continued to struggle pushing up against her, she caught me off guard when she eased up on me and quickly stood up. My shorts immediately fell to the floor and before I completely processed the move, she once again had pushed me back down onto the bed.
I was frightened at her strength. I knew she was in good shape, but I was always under the illusion that in a fair fight I would be able to overpower her. Now it appeared that this was not the case. Again I tried pushing up against her and again she caught me off guard by easing up and getting me standing again. I can't even explain the next move it all happened so fast. I was being spun around and became a little disoriented, felt myself falling again and the next thing I knew I was over her lap the top of my body laying on the bed and my legs over her lap. I then felt her leg lock my legs tight.
I struggled to break free, but I was mortified to discover how strong she really was and how weak I really was. Finally after all my resistance and denial I began to realize what I had always feared. I was helpless to stop her from spanking me. There I was, shorts at my ankles, my brief cover bottom placed perfectly across her lap. I tried kicking my legs, but they were held tight in place by her leg. I tried lifting my upper body, but the combination of her strong arm around my waist and my inability to gain any leverage from the position I was in made it difficult. I struggled for a while, she said and did nothing until she felt me stop fighting her. Exhausted from the struggle I finally stopped squirming. As I calmed down from the fight and let the realization of my predicament sink in, the tears and begging started.
"Please don't spank me, I didn't do anything wrong." I said as tears began to finally flow down my cheeks.
Suddenly I felt the belt across my backside, I let out a scream and then immediately started crying in earnest. It was a solid hit, sharper than the slaps I received when I was still being defiant. I then felt her tugging my underpants down. Part of me wanted to beg her to leave them up but I realized that they were coming down no matter what I pleaded and they offer so little protection anyway that there was just no point in begging. Soon they had joined my shorts at my ankles.
And so it continued. Sharp stinging whacks of the belt, my crying and begging for it to stop, my struggling uselessly against her grip trying to break free. It was at the same time both a blur and a memory that will be burned into my mind for ever. Emotionally it was the worst spanking I have ever received. Physically, my bottom burned like it had never burned before. My kicking and struggling to escape only served to remind me that I had been physically overpowered by my wife. The spanking finally ended like they always do and by the time my wife stood me back up I was broken, physically and emotionally. I was shaking and trembling before her. My face wet with tears gasping for breath sobbing like a child. I was in no condition to have a discussion with.
My wife told me to step out of my shorts and underpants and for the first time that night I did as I was told. She led me, naked from the waist down, into the guest room. She told me to lay down on the bed and to stay there until she came back and not to get out of bed for any reason 'or else.'
I was still crying too hard to acknowledge her verbally but I immediately laid down on the bed, on my stomach of course and cried until I could cry no more.
I had a lot to think about and soon my wife would return. Writing this story has been emotionally draining for me I even cried writing it out, but I certainly need you comments, but please give me a few days to recover and emotionally prepare myself to read and respond to them.
I will also find the strength to continue this story as when my wife returned, it was clear that while the worst was over for the night, my punishment was not yet done.
We probably all have some category of joke that we fit into and as I contemplated writing this I decided that I would not get specific as to the exact type of jokes I was telling because I don't think it should matter. If I was to say what kind of joke I was telling then perhaps your opinion would be different if you were in the category of the joke I was telling. I find it very disingenuous when someone laughs at all kinds of jokes, but then suddenly gets offended when a joke is told that makes fun of their background. I will say this, I laugh at the jokes that are told about my ethnicity and cultural background if they are told in jest. There is a difference between telling a joke and making an insult.
In my case, I was having some good natured fun with one of my friends and telling jokes about HIS background and he was replying with jokes about mine and we were having a good laugh at each other's expense. Sometime later I was in the house bringing in some dirty dishes and bring out more food when my wife came up to me.
"We you telling so jokes earlier that were offensive?" she asked.
"No, why do you ask?" I replied, not considering the jokes I was telling as offensive per se.
" Well, (male guest of one of her friends), said you were telling (fill in the blank) jokes and you know he is (fill in the blank) and took offense at them."
"So what? First off, I was telling those jokes to (friend of mine I was telling the jokes to) and he is also (fill in the blank) and he was not offended." I replied.
"Well, maybe but he was still offended you should go and apologize to him."
Well at this point I was a little pissed off. First, someone overhears a conversation that he was not a party to then complains to my wife instead of saying something to me, then expects me to apologize because he does not have sense of humor? To me apologizing implies that I have done something wrong. I did not see myself as doing anything wrong and still don't. If I tell a joke and someone gets offended that is not my fault. People seem to be looking for an excuse to be offended these days. Furthermore, all it would have taken was for him to be a man and to say to my face, sorry, but I don't find that funny. I might not have apologized, but I certainly wouldn't have continued to tell jokes where he could hear them. Instead he probably went crying to his girlfriend who went complaining to my wife. So here I was arguing with her.
I don't recall the exact words I used to make my argument, but her position was that it did not matter if I intended to offend. If someone found what I said offensive I should apologize. What was the big deal to apologize?
Again, I repeated that I would apologize if I did something wrong. I did nothing wrong. I was joking with a friend of mine. If he is offended by that then that is his problem not mine.
My wife then calmly said, "Are you going to apologize or do I need to deal with this when everyone leaves?"
At the time, I didn't make the connection. It had been months since I was last spanked and the idea that she was threatening me with a spanking never occurred to me. I must admit, if I knew she was going to spank me over this I might have apologized in protest to keep my record clean. I never would have thought she would have spanked me over telling jokes. She is usually a lot fairer than that. I simply thought we would defer the discussion until after our guests left. After all, we had to be good hosts and get back to our guests.
So I replied, "we can discuss this after everyone leaves."
"Are you sure that is what you want? You want me to deal with you after everyone has gone?"
"Yes." I replied missing the subtle warning.
"Very well, but it is a real shame that you just simply did not apologize.", and she turned and walked back out.
The rest of the party went off without incident.
After we finished cleaning up she said to me, "OK, now let's settle this failure to apologize business."
"Fine." I replied feeling pretty sure of my argument. She turned and walked up to our bedroom and I followed her, but by the time I got to our room she already had the hairbrush in her hands.
Without hesitation she looked at me and ordered, "Pull down your pants and underpants."
She was not mad, but calm and assertive. Both the command and the sight of the hairbrush in her hands shocked me. My heart began pounding in my chest and my stomach churned at the implication of the order I had been given. A tingle shot across my bottom and I felt my tiny penis shrivel in fear at the sight of her with the hairbrush. But after the initial shock I was insulted and offended. I was not going to let her spank me for telling jokes. I swallowed hard and with a dry mouth I slowly spoke up in my defense.
"This is not fair. I am not going to let you spank me for telling jokes."
"You are not being spanked for telling jokes. You are being spanked for not apologizing to one of our guests, now pull your pants and underpants down."
"No, I won't. I am not going to be spanked for this." I was a little defiant and scared. I never really defied my wife before. I was trembling and shaking, but also pretty cocksure of myself as I still felt that I was in the right. "This is not like the other times, I did nothing wrong, I am not going to be spanked for this."
"I am sorry that you don't think you did anything wrong. That more than anything is the reason you need to be spanked for this. If you had taken my advice and simply apologized like you were told we would not be here. You chose to be stubborn and childish about this so now you will be treated like the child you are. Pull down your pants and underpants, this is the last time I will ask."
I was really trembling and shaking. In some ways, I felt like I was going to pee my pants I was so scared, but I also felt she was wrong. My heart was pounding in my ears and my eyes were getting slightly watery, but again I asserted myself. "No, I am not going to be spanked for this."
With that she calmly placed the hairbrush on the dresser and slowly walked out of the room. I thought, wow that was easy. All it really took was to say no. I thought about all the long, painful and humiliating spankings I had endured from her and all I really ever had to do was to stand up and say no. I began thinking about the briefs I was wearing and concluded that all I had to do was buy boxers and simply tell her I was not wearing briefs anymore. It began to look like my days of embarrassment and humiliation were over, but before I could even completely calm back down she came in again. She was carrying a belt. Actually she was carrying the belt she used on me New Year's Eve. That dreaded belt. My stomach immediately started churning and again I felt like I was going to wet my pants with fear.
Without warning she walked up to me grabbed my arm yanked me so I turned partially away from her and she immediately whacked me hard with the belt across my shorts covered backside. I yelped at the suddenness of it and my eyes began to water up from the emotional roller-coaster I was on. I was going to be spanked once again. My clean streak was over.
After that one whack she released me and I instinctively reached back to rub the spot where she had hit me. I cursed myself for showing that reaction, but it was a reflex and I could not help myself. I looked at her shocked, but she was not mad. She was calm and in control and in some ways that frightened me more than if she was mad and out of control. If she was mad, then all I had to do was get her calm and she would be more rational. But she was calm and rational. This was not her lashing out in frustration or anger. She was totally in control and making it clear that I had a spanking coming.
"Pull down those pants and underpants now." she said in a firm but calm voice.
I could not believe this was happening, tears began to well up in my eyes, I remained assertive, but hints of doubt and pleading started to enter my words, "No," I said again almost crying. "I did not do anything wrong, you can't spank me." The words were half sobs in a begging sort of tone, but I was not saying please and not begging for reprieve. I was still making my case, still refusing to accept that I had committed a spankable offense.
"But you did do something wrong, you refused to correct your mistake and now you stand here defiant refusing to accept your punishment for that mistake." Again she quickly grabbed my arm, yanked me sideways and brought the belt across my backside again and letting me go. I felt a tear run down my cheek, but I fought back the desire to cry and tried to replace it with righteous indignation.
"I don't deserve to be spanked, you can't spank me!" I said still defiant, raising my voice to overcome the desire to cry. I then tried to stand up tall and proud hoping that she would realize that I was simply not wrong on this issue. My heart was pounding deep in my chest as I stared at her. I was waiting for her to grab my arm again and was prepared to pull away rather than let her get me turned around exposing my backside to her. She took a step towards me and I flinched in response. She shook her head back and forth in a 'no' motion clearly not happy with me.
"I am sorry that you do not see what you have done as wrong, but it is wrong and you will be spanked for this. Now pull down your pants and underpants and bend over the bed."
My heart was really pounding now and I was trembling with fear as my mouth went dry and I had a shiver that kept shooting all across my body feeling my testicles retract in fear in preparation for a fight. I was starting to have doubts. I thought for sure my defiance would help make my case. I was not going to pull my pants and underpants down. This was the moment I was always afraid of. What was she going to do? It was a battle of wills and I was not going to pull my pants down.
Quietly, barely a whisper, choking back hard as a lump filled my throat, one again I replied, "No."
She moved quickly, I saw her moving and expecting her to grab my arm once again I turned away to avoid her reach. Being slightly off balance she pushed me back onto the bed and I fell onto it. She had one arm across my chest and with the other she began to unbutton and unzip my shorts. I tried to stand back up but was shocked when I felt that I could not push up against her weight. My shorts were already unzipped and I felt them being pushed down but they were stuck underneath my bottom. As I continued to struggle pushing up against her, she caught me off guard when she eased up on me and quickly stood up. My shorts immediately fell to the floor and before I completely processed the move, she once again had pushed me back down onto the bed.
I was frightened at her strength. I knew she was in good shape, but I was always under the illusion that in a fair fight I would be able to overpower her. Now it appeared that this was not the case. Again I tried pushing up against her and again she caught me off guard by easing up and getting me standing again. I can't even explain the next move it all happened so fast. I was being spun around and became a little disoriented, felt myself falling again and the next thing I knew I was over her lap the top of my body laying on the bed and my legs over her lap. I then felt her leg lock my legs tight.
I struggled to break free, but I was mortified to discover how strong she really was and how weak I really was. Finally after all my resistance and denial I began to realize what I had always feared. I was helpless to stop her from spanking me. There I was, shorts at my ankles, my brief cover bottom placed perfectly across her lap. I tried kicking my legs, but they were held tight in place by her leg. I tried lifting my upper body, but the combination of her strong arm around my waist and my inability to gain any leverage from the position I was in made it difficult. I struggled for a while, she said and did nothing until she felt me stop fighting her. Exhausted from the struggle I finally stopped squirming. As I calmed down from the fight and let the realization of my predicament sink in, the tears and begging started.
"Please don't spank me, I didn't do anything wrong." I said as tears began to finally flow down my cheeks.
Suddenly I felt the belt across my backside, I let out a scream and then immediately started crying in earnest. It was a solid hit, sharper than the slaps I received when I was still being defiant. I then felt her tugging my underpants down. Part of me wanted to beg her to leave them up but I realized that they were coming down no matter what I pleaded and they offer so little protection anyway that there was just no point in begging. Soon they had joined my shorts at my ankles.
And so it continued. Sharp stinging whacks of the belt, my crying and begging for it to stop, my struggling uselessly against her grip trying to break free. It was at the same time both a blur and a memory that will be burned into my mind for ever. Emotionally it was the worst spanking I have ever received. Physically, my bottom burned like it had never burned before. My kicking and struggling to escape only served to remind me that I had been physically overpowered by my wife. The spanking finally ended like they always do and by the time my wife stood me back up I was broken, physically and emotionally. I was shaking and trembling before her. My face wet with tears gasping for breath sobbing like a child. I was in no condition to have a discussion with.
My wife told me to step out of my shorts and underpants and for the first time that night I did as I was told. She led me, naked from the waist down, into the guest room. She told me to lay down on the bed and to stay there until she came back and not to get out of bed for any reason 'or else.'
I was still crying too hard to acknowledge her verbally but I immediately laid down on the bed, on my stomach of course and cried until I could cry no more.
I had a lot to think about and soon my wife would return. Writing this story has been emotionally draining for me I even cried writing it out, but I certainly need you comments, but please give me a few days to recover and emotionally prepare myself to read and respond to them.
I will also find the strength to continue this story as when my wife returned, it was clear that while the worst was over for the night, my punishment was not yet done.
I feel for you. It is never nice being punished – and you have obviously suffered for you errors.
ReplyDeleteFor someone who says they hate being spanked it must be horrible having your wife punish you like this. And I can full understand why you get yourself into such a state.
I’ve had a lifelong fascination of the cane but each time I’m told I’m to be punished I know the sick feeling I get – so I do understand your feelings.
However, I have to say that once again that you have thoroughly deserved the spanking your wife gave you.
Even if, in your mind you had done nothing wrong, the fact that your wife questioned you about the joke telling, and offered you an opportunity to make amends by apologizing to the person you upset, should have been enough to set the alarm bells ringing for you.
Can you honestly say that, with the history of disciplinary procedures you know your wife to have implemented, it never crossed your mind she might spank you for ignoring her request?
I agree with you that any jokes you exchange among friends are entirely at your and your friend’s discretion – but bear in mind, that not everyone might share your fun and clearly, you did upset someone at the party.
So when your wife pointed out this fact, it would have been prudent to offer an apology. The fact that your wife spanks you as a corrective measure should not even have come into it. You did upset someone and that’s never good.
But knowing she does punish you, and knowing how much you hate being spanked, I would have thought the first thing to pop into your head would have been ‘she might spank me for this.’ How could you not see it?
I know, as you write this, your wife has not finished entire episode, but from what we’ve learned so far about her, I’d say you’ll be making that apology face to face with the person you upset in the near future – once your wife has finished her disciplinary procedures with you.
My advice is to accept her correction and move on. It’s clearly not going to be the last time so get used to it. She is in charge so be mindful of her direction in future.
Well of course if I could do it all over again I would have apologized, but at the time (and actual still do) feel I did not owe anyone an apology.
DeleteI hate to say I told you so, but I TOLD YOU SO. Glad to see you finally did stand up to your wife though.......apparently she is stronger than you so now your options seem to be even more limited. Better get back to the gym and workout so that if you ever decide to stand up to her again she won't "man-handle" you. Not really sure what else to tell you to do about this situation other than threaten to leave her if she does it again. Although from your past posts that seems unlikely so the only other thing I can say is that you're going to have to accept the fact that you'll from now on you'll be a spanked husband, like it or not. Good times.
ReplyDeleteI must admit, in some ways being "man handled" by my wife was just as bad as the spanking. This is the first time I physically resisted and found that I could not overcome her strength, at least not without hurting her. In my heart of hearts I feel that if I absolutely did not want her to spank me I could have fought her and stopped her, but that would have involved hurting her, like grabbing hair, scratching her or punching her. I was not willing to do that, but I certainly thought that I would be strong enough to prevent her from getting me over her lap.
DeleteYou are correct, my only true option at this time is to leave her and I am not sure I want to do that. This setback has certainly humbled me, but I realize the only option I have is for a marriage where the spankings are few and far between.
the only other option I see for you, short of divorce, would be to threaten to go to the police. This is still NONCONSENSUAL. I realize that you've given her tacit approval by submitting to these spankings but you've still never agreed that she could spank you........written or verbally. But you'd have to be willing to follow thru on that threat if she called your bluff and I get how that could be quite embarrassing for you. I know a lot of people will disagree with what I'm about to say but I think you should give her a taste of her own medicine so to speak. Not sure how you would accomplish this since she seems to be stronger than you but somehow you need to spank her ass red and till she's in tears and then tell her that every time she spanks you she can expect the same thing back. Maybe catch her when she is asleep and redden her ass good. I know you said you don't want to hurt her but since your spankings are NONCONSENSUAL, hers should be too and she'll get over the pain just like you do. I still feel that you are on a downward spiral that many of you readers would enjoy but that will only get worse for you as this is not the lifestyle you want. The spankings seem to be getting worse and I'm pretty sure your wife will continue to control more and more of your life. I do agree with you about the jokes you were telling and it was handled all wrong. What kind of a pussy man tell his or your wife instead of coming to you directly. And honestly from your "after the fall" post it sounds like the guy wasn't even sure what you were talking about when you apologized. Tell me, was it Sarah's BF/ husband? maybe you got set up. what ever the case, you need to stop this now before it gets any worse, because I'm pretty sure it will.
DeleteI would divorce her before calling the cops. I actually struggled with with this before (See my post 'implied consent') and did give the idea of having her charged but I concluded I would simply divorce her before I did that. So at this point leaving her is the only real option I have.
DeleteAnd no, this was not 'Sarah's' boyfriend but thanks for reassuring me that although I suffered a severe spanking for this I am glad to know that in my heart I was right. Perhaps I did not write it clearly, but when I called him on the phone he did seem to know what jokes I was referring to. To be honest, I got the impression that the reason he complained to his wife and not me was because when it came right down to it, I don't think he was as offended as my wife led me to believe. I got the impression that while he found those jokes offensive, his complaint to his girlfriend was more about showing off to her how he was such a sensitive and cultured gentleman. I think that is why he never said anything to me. Seems I got spanked for nothing.
Like you I am concerned that this will escalate. I hear those that are saying, you must accept the decision of you wife, and I did, reluctantly, when I felt I was wrong and the punishment fair even if I did not like it. If like I said, tomorrow she tells me I am breathing wrong and I am going to be spanked for it then I will know she is just looking for excuses. I have read about such things in other blogs but those severe spankings for trivial things seem to be part of a kinky play between the couples.
As for spanking my wife? I don't know. To be honest I never really thought about it before, but now that I think of it, I don't think I could really do it. Do I want to hurt her, no, but the real reason? I am afraid to do it. Sorry, I know you would love to read about how I gave her a 'taste of her own medicine' but I just don't have the guts to do it.
You have asked for comments and I am offering advice which I hope is OK. But first a little background so you will know where I am coming from. I am in your situation of my own making and I know what it is to be spanked by your wife when you don’t want it and don’t think it’s deserved. More than ten years ago I asked my wife to discipline me for some good reasons. But when she became very strict and started using a large paddle and later a cane and setting a lot of rules I didn’t want, I lost my enthusiasm for it but she didn’t. She doesn’t control me physically as your wife does you but she does control me mentally and emotionally. She has learned all the techniques that make me submissive and I cannot stand up to her when she decides to spank. I have tried like you and failed every time. I think other men are in our situation, maybe introducing spanking into their marriage but then having our wife decide she wants to continue long after we would stop. My wife has told me many times once I have given her authority to punish me I can’t take it back. She is right. So the first advice I offer is about spanking. I am very motivated by getting spanked but your response is much stronger than mine. You become almost unhinged for a while after she has spanked you Consequently your wife, a smart woman ,understands how much she can motivate and control you with spanking and what a tool it is for her. She is never going to stop until she has molded you into the “perfect husband” The number of spankings you get may decrease but the severity may increase and they probably will not end as long as you are married. My strong advice is to stop hoping your spankings are over, accept the reality she will continue to spank. Above all do not defy or resist her when she decides to spank. Accept the spanking and thank her for caring enough to administer it even when you feel treated unfairly. That will improve your marriage 100 percent. The other advice I offer is some insight into why she is spanking you. On the surface this one was about some bad judgment and refusing to apologize when she asked you to do so. And your other spankings (that you have described) all had some specific behavior that triggered them. But deeper down they are all really about her exercising authority to tell you what to do and expecting obedience and punishing you when you defy her authority or disobey her on things that really matter to her. Your wife has behavioral goals for you but deeper down she wants obedience and when she doesn’t get it, you get in trouble. It’s really simple, your wife is spanking you for disobedience so stop disobeying her and the spankings will happen less and less. If you want motivation to obey her, here is some experience I can cite. Wives use witnesses when they are frustrated with normal discipline results. That’s what my wife did and she only had to do it once. Your wife is either going to increase severity or she will embarrass you by spanking you in front of someone if you don’t start to obey her more. After this spanking you can have no doubt of her ability to carry that out. So please accept that spankings are part of your life and understand your wife wants obedience. If you do, your life is going to be pretty good
ReplyDeleteFloyd D
Hi Floyd,
DeleteI know you are trying to be honest and helpful, but of course your comment does contain the one statement that really scares me the most.
"or she will embarrass you by spanking you in front of someone if you don’t start to obey her more. "
I started this blog when my wife implied she would spank me in front of her friend 'Sarah' and that has me absolutely terrified. Many on this blog have tried to convince me that being spanked in front of someone else is not that bad. I can't see it being not that bad. Many on this blog have told me they see the spanking in front of Sarah as inevitable. You indicated that your wife spanked you in front of a witness and it only took "once" To me that implied that it was as bad as you thought it would be. I realize you may scare me a little, but I would like to here the opinion of someone who was spanked in front of a witness who did not think it was "no big deal"
As for me accepting the spankings? Well, I think my wife has made it clear that so long as I am her husband, I have no choice but to accept her spankings whenever and wherever she chooses.
Of course it’s a “big deal” That’s why wives do it. Maybe some guys punished often that way get used to it but I defy any man ever spanked that way to deny that the first time it happened wasn’t a big deal. For me it was the embarrassment. She did it in front of a friend from work who I knew socially and was married to someone I golf with occasionally. Just pants and underpants down is my wife’s usual practice but this time I was completely nude in the corner and waiting when her friend arrived. It was not the most severe paddling I ever got but it was a serious spanking. But the embarrassment factor was just over the top. I had to stand between both of them in a large room and explain why I was being spanked and ask to be spanked. It took two or three trips to the corner and back before I got that right. My wife knows what a shock that spanking was to me and before we went to bed that night I promised her she would never have to spank me that way again. So far (over three years) she hasn’t
DeleteFloyd
Ps I would like to hear from some of the guys who have written earlier that getting spanked in front of a witness wasn’t that bad. I seriously would like to understand why they feel that way
Thanks Floyd for sharing. I am sorry that you had to go through a public spanking but am glad to hear someone acknowledge that it is not a pleasant experience. I certainly am mortified at even the thought of it and got tired of everyone saying it would not be as bad as I imagined.
DeleteYou are absolutely correct about the embarrassment. I get spanked in private and that is bad enough. I would be mortified if my wife even told someone else she spanked me and for all I know she may have already done so, but at least I can live in ignorant bliss. To actually have someone see it, that is just an unimaginable terror for me and seems 10x worse than even the worse spanking I have ever received.
Now I don't want to trivialize the trauma you experienced in your witnessed spanking, but as I think about the possibility of it happening to me I feel if I ever does, it will be worse for me for two reasons. First, it has now become apparent that my wife can easily bring me to tears. If I were spanked in front of a witness and did not cry they might leave thinking they just witnessed some kinky sex play, but the way my wife brings me to tears would leave no doubt that they had just witnessed a real spanking to an unwilling part.
Second, and please don't tell me I am being silly about this, they would see my tiny shriveled penis. I know a lot of guys worry about this and there are many who feel they are tiny when in fact they are average, but I do obsess over this, did lots of searches online and feel even more humiliated when some of the penis' being described as small are larger than mine. So I would be spanked, crying with my tiny penis on display. I don't think I could ever get through all that.
I trust when she returned she had called the friend and had him and his wife return to your house. Then she called you to the living room and finished the spanking I their presence until you.were willing to stand up and face them as you apologized.
ReplyDeleteDaniel
Thankfully that did not happen. You can read the follow up story to see what did. I can't even imagine being spanked in front of someone else, it is definitely what scare me the most.
DeleteI think that the your wife should NOT have intervened. She should have told the guy to talk to you MAN to MAN so that the two of you could have settled this in a MANLY fashion!!!!! Then you should have apologized to the guy for having offended him!!!
ReplyDeleteIt is GOOD that you stood up to your wife, feeling as you did!! One should NEVER be punished if he honestly believes that he is right!!! I am still wondering if you are in a consensual Domestic Discipline relationship or not!!
If NOT, then you are in an ABUSIVE relationship!!!
Thanks Bobcat for being the one voice who gets it. Why should I have to apologize to someone who did not even tell me he was offended. You get my point and I still believe I am right.
DeleteOf course, in the end it did not matter. I ended up apologizing just to avoid another spanking.
Seems to me you got what you deserved. Either she is charge or she is not. If she is, then do as you are told or take the consequences.
ReplyDeleteI still don't feel I deserved what I got, but unfortunately you are correct in that I did not do as I was told. What if I am told to do something totally unreasonable in the future? Where is her responsibility to be fair
DeleteFor what it's worth I agree you didn't do anything wrong. Your friend was the one acting childish by tattling on you to your wife instead of just confronting you about it face to face. Honestly I'm not sure if he's a very good friend if he gets offended so easily and sneaks around talking about you to your family behind your back. It would have been nicer of your wife to have your back instead of being so controlling and demanding.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I appreciate the support. For the record he was not a friend. He was the "guest" of one of my wife's friends. My friends, were the ones I was telling jokes with. They have a sense of humor.
DeleteMy wife and I did discuss this a few days ago. My wife's position is that he felt uncomfortable and a good hosts job is to make all their guests feel comfortable. She advised me what I should have done as a good host. To her, how she became aware of his discomfort and the cause of his discomfort is irrelevant. She claims I got spanked for failing to be a good host and not specifically for telling jokes.
I understand her position, but still don't agree 100%. People are too easily offended these days. It seems people are always looking for an excuse to take offense at something. People are way too sensitive. I don't buy this PC BS. It is just a freaking joke people lighten up, laugh and tell one of your own. Maybe then there will be less hatred in the world.
Still, my wife saw it differently and my backside suffered the consequences.
It all boils down to this: you misbehave and you have to face the consequences -whatever they are, because she sets the rules. And if your misbehavior was, directly or indirectly, offensive to one of your wife's friends there is no reason why you shouldn't face the consequences - even if it involves your getting what you deserve from both of them!
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