First off, I really want to thank everyone for commenting as it helps me think through all this. My last post seemed to generate a lot of comments on my admission that I plan to wear boxers at my upcoming physical exam. Since the majority of the comments were the same I thought I would respond to them in general rather than individually. Sorry for not responding to each one, but I thought this would be more efficient. Should you wish to further comment, please do and I will respond individually as appropriate.
First off, let me reiterate my side of the story. While I maintain that I do not consent to or desire being spanked, I can reluctantly acknowledge that I can sometimes be a bit of a jerk and 90% of the time I can understand what behavior led me to being spanked. Again, understanding is not acceptance in the true sense of the word. but I find submitting to a spanking easier than doing what it would take to stop them once and for all, i.e. leave my wife.
Now, regarding my underwear choice. First, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I really don't care what kind of underwear you wear. I don't care if your wife makes you wear panties, thongs, jockstraps or whatever. I am sorry if you feel my wife should make me wear panties, get over it. This is not about you and your fantasies. This is about me and my wife.
Talking nasty to my wife, failing to meet my commitments, being rude to guests, I get it, it is bad behavior. My wife chooses to spank me for that kind of behavior and that is just the way it is. I get that. My underwear choice? That is by no stretch of the imagination bad behavior. That is her imposing an unfair restriction on me that serves no purpose except to make me feel uncomfortable. I know you all feel I am making a big deal out of this and I should just get over it, but a personal preference for one style of underwear over another is not bad behavior. Now, because she is my wife, I accepted her personal preference and have worn the briefs in deference to her preference, but I don't see any reason whatsoever to have to wear them where others can see them. If I wear boxers once a year to the doctors, that is not bad behavior and I will not be forced to do something like that. I have reluctantly accepted the spankings and the briefs so long as they remain a private matter between my wife and I.
I know you are all hoping that my wife finds out and punishes me for it, but I don't see how she will find out. I am alone in the exam room with the doctor and/or nurse and they are professionals and will not talk about what happens in the exam room without my permission. It is as simple as that. So I will be wearing my boxers to the exam and I know I will get away with it, so that is that.
Now, why should I have to wear briefs just because my wife says so. She prefers plain white panties and I have never questioned her choice because unlike her, I feel she should be allowed to wear what makes her comfortable. What if I were to tell her I want her to only wear a purple thong? Do you think she should wear it just because I told her that is what I want her to wear? If she chose to wear one to please me that would be her decision, but if she then said she was going to wear plain white panties to the doctor, than that would be the end of the discussion.
I feel the same way about this and I feel very strongly about it. In fact I feel so strongly about it that I am even willing to risk a private spanking (though I am confident I will go undetected) if it means I get to wear boxers to my physical. My mind is made up. As for speculation about having to wear panties or something more embarrassing, I am not going to consider those hypothetical questions. I have enough trouble just dealing with my briefs.
Anyway, I hope I did not come across as rude, but this is an issue I feel very passionate about. I just wanted to make my thoughts and position clear. Thanks.
As I am sure you are aware, most of the readers of and and responders to your blog are spankos of some F/M variety, myself included. But, as you have made it abundantly clear, you are not. Fair enough. You have noted that your choice is to accept the fact that your wife will continue spanking you as long as you remain married to her, and that you wish to remain married to her. So, you will be spanked, even though it is something you have no taste for.
ReplyDeleteGiven these realities, I am sympathetic to your desire to wear what you want to wear, though I don't understand why you and your wife are both so adamant about the type of underwear you wear. Seem much ado about little, and somewhat childish on her part. But it is what it is. So I can understand, without condoning, the bit of deceit you are planning for you coming physical. Of course, your wife might find out, and then you will be in big trouble. But even if you are not found out, it seems a pity that your practicing deceit in this manner is apparently necessary from your perspective. Either ways, it seems you lose in some sense. Deceit is never a good thing in a marriage.
Doug
My guess is she wants you to surrender some aspect of traditional male prerogative within a marriage to her as a gift. It's a sacrifice for you, so it's therefore meaningful to her. The offering and accepting of this surrender is a form of intimacy for her. So it's probably not really about the underwear... it's about the symbolic gift of surrender she would like you to offer her.
ReplyDeleteWell add my voice to the chorus saying this is a bad idea.
ReplyDeleteI'm not part of the crowd who thinks your wife can more or less do no wrong. Instead I'd encourage you to give your relationship some serious thought and explicitly consider whether it's a good (as in healthy) place for you to be. Even if you choose to stay in a hierarchical relationship like you have now, it's necessary in my opinion for your wife to recognize your voice, your autonomy, and abide by some limits on what she can do. That all said, this is a terrible idea.
You are taking your wife for a fool. That's what this comes down to, and you have zero reason to think that assumption might be true. I was reading some of your older posts recently. In the comments of the post describing your first spanking you write "It is clear she had been planning this for years". Her control of the relationship is obviously a priority for her. You've tried to defy her a couple of times without success. She knows this is important to you and she has imposed it as a punishment. Do you really think she'll just be casual about it all? Or that you'll be a calm and relaxed liar about it to her? Read your own blog, you've recorded here how you've become increasingly vulnerable to her, particularly emotionally vulnerable. Besides you made a deal with her a few months ago. Live up to it.
Again I would encourage you to have a conversation with her where you keep open the option of leaving the marriage. If you do this (not live up to your word, sneak around, and lie) and then get caught (>50% chance, IMO), there's a consequence you might not have considered. If you then decide to make a stand you've handicapped yourself as she would likely take you much less seriously when you declare a boundary. While there are many other solid reasons why you shouldn't, that is reason enough not to do this.
J
I agree with the others commenting here. What you intend to do is deceitful - and judging by your comments here and earlier, you know this yet you say you still intend to go ahead with your plan.
ReplyDeleteYour choice is boxers v briefs. Both very acceptable male attire. I't not like others have previously posted suggesting your wear real feminine attire. Your doctor isn't gonig to bat an eyelid whichever kind of pants your choose.
I personally don't think you'll feel at all comfortable in your deceit and dread to think of the consequences if you are found out. Your wife sounds a very perceptive Lady so I think you are treading a very fine line here.
I don't really understand why your wife insists on a certain type of underwear but surely, if you now grudgingly accept her discipline, you also must accept her authority. So why are you deliberately flaunting her rule - especially when you know the consequences?
Its an Agreement that you and your wife made; if she had no cause to spank you before your physical, then your choice of underwear would prevail. If that was not the case (and of course its not the case twice over, now), you agreed to accept her ruling that you wear your normal underwear aka the dreaded briefs.
ReplyDeleteIf you view that as silly, well, there is an element of tough luck in that; it does seem that she is the HOH, and although you slightly resent that it is the case it is, the case.
Talk to her about it, or, accept her ruling on it; as one or two others have said if you get caught out you will inevitably face consequences.
If you like, tell her that you accept her as HOH, but, this thing about the boxers vs briefs for the physical is just something you feel really, really, strongly about; say you are not even really sure quite why but it is the case.
I suspect if you appear to her to be adult about it and accepting of her general 'final word' in the marriage, and say you understand and accept why she had to spank you the two most recent occasions, and indeed those prior as well, she is just as likely to say well, ok then, I don't have any object to your wearing the boxers in this case.
If she says its an additional punishment for the fact that she did have to spank you, well again, perhaps you should accept it as a punishment and for no other reason.
If you raise the topic of course she will double or triple check; I really do not suggest you raise it and then go against what she says if she says 'briefs'; but at least you will feel more of a man having fronted up to her on it; don't you think?
Dear rt190
ReplyDeleteYou just don’t get it. You remind me of my husband when we started out but he took about six months to figure it out while it sounds like you are taking six years. It’s not about your underwear or what you happen to think about what is or is not reasonable. It’s about your wife’s authority to make decisions and expect them to be obeyed. Your defiance of her authority is what gets you most of your spankings and you still don’t get that. She makes the rules, you obey them. It can’t get simpler yet you keep missing it. This deception you are planning or already carried out just shows how badly you need discipline. You may fool her this time and get away with your defiance but in the long term you are only prolonging your conflict about being a spanked husband. Several commentators are giving you good advice and you should take it. Surrender to her authority, accept your discipline when you earn it and above all understand she is doing this for you and your relationship. There are very few women who derive pleasure from punishing their husband but they do it out of love and she is trying very hard and patiently to make you see that. You are going to screw up big time mister if she decides you are not worth it and gives up on you. Be a man, take your spankings and grow up.
Audrey
I can't say it any better than Ms Audrey..."It’s about your wife’s authority to make decisions and expect them to be obeyed. Your defiance of her authority is what gets you most of your spankings and you still don’t get that. She makes the rules, you obey them." "Be a man, take your spankings and grow up."
ReplyDeleteFor the good of your marriage do as your wife's says and wear the briefs. She gave you a chance to wear boxers, all you had to do was not earn another spanking before your Dr. Appointment. You could not do this so honor your side of the agreement and wear the briefs. Be a man and keep your word.
Peter
Hi RT...Hope you are well and spank free since your last post. Just my opinion but I don't believe people we're trying to say you should be pantied etc. I think most commenters were trying to say that if you want to wear boxers to the Dr. you should ask your wife's permission to do so rather than doing so behind her back. You agreed that you would wear the briefs if you could not remain spank free. You were spanked so why would you not honor the agreement you made with your wife. The idea of having to wear panties I believe was brought up to show that things could be worse... and they could...my wife insists that I wear panties about 80 percent of the time. The main point is be honest with her and since she has the final say...Obey her when she decides what you are to wear. I know you don't want to wear briefs but do so for your wife. When she sees that you are willing to obey her she may let you wear briefs next time. I don't like being spanked or wearing panties but obeying my wife makes her happy.
ReplyDeleteAlex
Hi Have you had your Dr appointment yet?
ReplyDeleteDo tell, was it boxers or briefs. If it was boxers did you have permission or did you disobey your wife?