I was upset when I opened the package. I looked at her with a "why?" face. She did not smile or laugh but simply said, "Well, you can use new underpants and a hairbrush can be used for just brushing hair. If it gets used for anything else, well that is entirely up to you."
I put the package down, not sure how I felt or was supposed to feel. The month of December has been very intense and can only hope that with the new year things go back to normal, even if it means the occasional spanking.
Than one more thought came into my head. When and where did she buy these? Did she buy them together? Did she buy them when she was shopping with Sarah? I wanted to ask to reassure myself she was discrete when she bought them, but another part of me just did not want to know. All day long I kept thinking back to that "present" wondering what it all meant. Like I said, it has been a very intense month. I can only hope it changes soon.
Merry Freaking Christmas.
One question, is the hairbrush she gave you bigger, thicker etc than the one she is currently using or about the same.If it is about the same size she is still just continuing to psychologically condition you to accept spankings ( and to expect them) But if it is larger, thicker etc, she probably plans to use it and that means she is going to increase the severity of your punishments but probably not the frequency. If she researches on line at all she has seen the advice to women and by women to increase the consequences if desired results are not forthcoming . Frankly the spankings you describe are mild compared to what I have received . I know they are powerful emotionally to you but some other women do spank much harder than you have received. By frequently taking down your pants she is telling you she owns your ass and by giving you a hairbrush for Christmas she may be telling you more or harder spankings are in your future. I know you don't want to hear that but the faster you get through the next phase of your relationship the happier you are going to be. I look forward to the day you post how much you love your wife because she loves you enough to give you the discipline you need. Hoping 2015 brings that joy for you
ReplyDeleteTrying to be a friend
In answer to your question, I would say the hairbrushes are about the same thickness. The new one is just rounder and a little bigger. Also to be honest it has a nice varnish and looks to be a good quality wood.
DeleteI actually tried brushing my hair with it and it really didn't do a good job. So clearly, this was not purchased with my hair in mind, this was clearly purchased with my backside in mind and was meant to send a message.
I just hope that message is that I better behave and not as you indicated that I should expect more frequent and more severe spankings is 2015.
If the brush is not bigger or thicker it's just more symbolism to remind you she controls your bottom rather than her signaling more or harder spankings in the future.. Honestly I think your wife prefers to control you without spanking if she can and this recent spate of taking down your pants and an ominous present is part of her efforts to discipline you with what amounts to corner time plus threats of spanking. She is deadly serious about wanting obedience and behavior modification but spanking is just a means to an end and if she can get there another way she will.
DeleteThis indicates to me she is enjoying this on some level. She bought a new hairbrush to beat your ass with? From afar, she sounds like a lot of fun if you were into it. Given that you are not, it is a little strange. So what I am saying is that if it were kinky, it would not be strange (kind of an oxymoron!).
ReplyDeleteYou mentioned in your last post (reply) that when you were dating she had you bring her to climax and you were left without an orgasm. Now the steady escalation of corporal punishment (complete with nearly penetrating you with her finger) - Classic F/m domestic discipline. Almost like she has been reading about it or has an advisor (Sarah?) for years.
Tell her you are secretly really turned on by the whole thing and think she should whip your ass in from tot Sarah! Risky bluff I know, but if she is just kinky and enjoying the benefits, she'll know it is safe to reveal that to you. If it turn out she is try not to get mad, I think most of the guys that read your blog could be very sympathetic to your wife's hidden kink and embarrassment about it - hell that's part of the reason I read your blog!
Just an idea, wish you the best of luck with this. BTW, thanks for the blog it is an interesting one to follow.
KL
Wow, I know this was not your intention but I actually felt sick to my stomach when I read your suggestion that I should tell her to whip my ass in front of Sarah. I don't think I will do that. I can't even bear the thought of having my pants down in front of Sarah.
DeleteHowever, I think I will confront her again about if she gets enjoyment from this and let her know it is OK if she does.
If you ask her in a menacing or angry way she would not admit it. If you find a way to ask her in a way that makes it safe than maybe ( a glass of wine may help). If she does come clean than don't freak out on her, just know that you are at least communicating now. Who knows you may come to get something out of it.
DeleteRemember, she has hidden it from you this far so she will have to really feel safe to admit it now. Sounds like you have that figured out, just thought I would reiterate.
Who knows maybe she does not, but it is worth carefully looking into it.
KL
What are the odds of someone being a spanker (of adults) yet not a spanko?
DeleteGood question, I don't know. What are the odds of someone really just using corporal punishment on an unconsenting (I know we've discussed "consent") spouse as a form of discipline/punishment and then buying them a second paddle on Christmas? Either way it is unusual, not good or bad, just unusual. My comment was more to try and rule out the spanko possibility. I would guess it is more unusual to spank your spouse as a pure form of training than it is to be a secret spanko.
DeleteThat said, if she is she is a spanko who also sees the benefits of things as they are, she may never admit it (she would have to admit to lying, and then lose her leverage). Butt, if you are happily married otherwise than maybe leave well enough alone? Given that you consulted attorneys about abuse, I'm not sure this is the case?
The odds of not being a spanko and still using corporal punishment on a spouse are actually pretty high in my opinion. Most women who spank begin not from sexual motivations but because their husband requests it. Sometimes ,maybe often ,these women become enthusiastic spankers getting satisfaction from controlling their husbands and modifying behavior they dislike. But this doesn't make them spankos. So the answer to the first " what are the odds" is they are reasonably high that many women who spank are not at least originally spankos. The second " what are the odds" of using corporal punishment on an unenthusiastic spouse ( I am not using "non-consenting" here .because I believe you are consenting however stressed about it. The answer to that question is not clear. I have no doubt at all that women in the past have imposed physical discipline on their husbands but probably not many. The internet has brought about massive changes in information and any woman motivated today to learn about adult discipline can easily do it. although they probably are introducing it into their marriages more subtly that rt's wife.Anyone married for a while knows that almost every wife disciplines her husband sometimes. Until lately corporal punishment and the brush have not been common ways that is done . But the internet is changing that. Even five years ago it was easy to find a sophisticated woman who know nothing about spanking and adult discipline. Today because of widely circulated books and information on the internet educated women are well informed about spanking. It s not much of a stretch to assume many are acting on that knowledge. .
DeleteHmmm, good points. Your first point about wives not being spanko's but do it because of their husbands request is the situation i find myself in. REcently I was disciplined and do not like it at all why it is happening, it really hurts. Before and after their is a sexual component that is in play. Without that, I think I would feel just like RT. The question in this case though is that neither spouse apparently has any sexuality attached to it which I think would be atypical. If that is the case the question is what made her think to even do it in the first place? And that is the question I have always wondered about with regard to this blog……….
DeleteKL
"the question is what made her think to even do it in the first place? And that is the question I have always wondered about with regard to this blog………."
DeleteThis isn't a deep mystery.Women have always been interested in controlling their husbands. Today there is so much information out there about using spanking for adult discipline ( Google spanking) that anyone interested could find it ( and much of it is good) Also women talk and share with each other so if a woman is actually spanking her guy, its a good chance she has told other friends about it. Also there are apparently many more men interested in being in a DD than once thought. A woman proposing it to her husband today has a decent chance of success. Finally a man gives off hints that he he can be disciplined.That may have happened to rt and its not unusably for a mother to tell her daughter in law how her :" little boy" was managed at home. Add these all up and why rt's wife hit on spanking to modify his behavior is less of a mystery
Interesting symbolism here: the white briefs symbolizes that you constantly need to think of yourself as a boy who needs to be disciplined by his "mommy" when he misbehaves, and will be. Of course, this kind of relationship does not include sex. And it does not require consent on your part. Children are subject to parental discipline with no need for consent. And of course the relationship between "mommy and child" is not reciprocal. Children simply do not spank their "mommies" when they misbehave.
ReplyDeleteThe symbolism of the hairbrush speaks for itself.
I do wonder about how benign the relationship between your wife and Sarah is. Is Sarah putting your wife up to some of this stuff? Is their relationship more complicated than that of good friends?
I reluctant agree with your observation but her treating me like a "child" and her acting like "mommy" was never constant. I have been feeling like a had two modes. One is act like a man and I got treated like a man including all the "benefits" of being a man. I have not discussed many details of our sex life, but I would describe it as otherwise normal. We were not doing it once a night, but it wasn't once a month either. It had a little variety but not with a lot of kink.
DeleteNow the other mode was "child" mode. I would be put into this mode when ever I crossed the line. There was never any doubt she was treating me like a child as she would even call me childish, telling me I was behaving like a naughty little boy and using childish terms to speak with me, like telling me she was going to bare my bottom and spank my backside instead of beat my ass. And yes, when I was in child mode, there would be no sex until I earned my way back to manhood.
Now the briefs, I never associated with children, but the exact opposite. I get the impression that children all wear stylish boxers or at least boxer briefs. Its only old fuddy duddies who grew up with briefs and are too lazy or unimaginative to change with the times who still wear them. She claims she wants me to wear them because they are cheap (and that doesn't help me feel motivate to wear them) are more hygienic (implying I don't wipe properly) and she can add a little bleach to the wash which is a powerful anti-viral, anti-bacterial agent (OK, I guess I agree with that one) That is why she wear plain white panties (boring) So I am not sure if that symbolism is true for her or not. It was clear however, by putting the hairbrush and briefs together she wanted to make sure what part of my bottom the brush was intended for. She did not package the hairbrush with a hat after all.
Nice to see posting more and even better responding to comments. Thanks for that. This is one of my favourite blogs, perhaps because I too am spanked by my wife and it was 100% her idea. Like you I don't like the spankings but I must admit they do make me a better hubby.
ReplyDeleteMy your posts it's clear you have now accepted your wife's authority and her right to spank. It took me about six months before I stopped fighting my wife's right to discipline me and our marriage is much stronger now that I obey her at all times. I giggled when I read that you received a hairbrush for Christmas. My first Christmas as I spanked hubby I received a hairbrush, day of the week panties and an apron. I was sooo embarrassed by this that I got in a mood and ended up over or knee Christmas morning. ( at least you avoided that)
Your wife's new discipline method (baring your bottom but no spanking) seems a bit unusual but it does seem to be working. However I don't believe she would have given you a hairbrush if she did not plan on using it... New Years Eve perhaps?
Please keep up the posting I really enjoy them.
Ben
You are welcome. I know people who follow this regularly become disappointed when I do not write frequently and I know I owe a response to those who take the time to comment. Sorry if sometime I get bust with other responsibilities I will at least try to acknowledge comments in the future. As for your specific comment, I sincerely hope that you are wrong about the New Year's Eve spanking.
DeleteYour wife is either a natural disciplinarian and she could be even as relatively young as she appears to be ( it doesn't come out in most women much before 40 ) The other possibility is that she is being coached or trained by someone who is. That could point to " Sarah" but this is just speculation. One thing is sure and that is she knows what she is doing as far as controlling and disciplining a male. One time you will find out and maybe let us know too. Thanks for giving us a glimpse of how a wife takes control and ( whether you realize it or not now) how a husband comes to appreciate his wife's authority.
ReplyDeleteI sincerely hope Sarah has not been mentoring her on any of this. My wife has assure me Sarah is not aware the she spanks me "Yet".
DeleteHonestly the bigger part of me wonders if this blog is the work of a fantasist for a few reasons, but taking it at face value i think it presents a moral dilemma and thought experiment in any case, so I'll indulge it for a moment.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand people's comments saying the discipline is 'working'. If it's working, why are you whining about it online (and why hasn't she caught you blogging, yet)? Hand on heart, do you see benefits from it or not? Is it achieving the ends she claims to have in mind, or not? If not, why is she so myopic as to not see that? Do you doubt the purity of her motive? If it is working (making you behave better), what, really, lies at the root of your complaint? Because it goes against societal norms? Because the punishment doesn't fit the crime? Because being an adult places you above the indignity of certain punishments? Because you believe in an egalitarian relationship?
You seem too well-spoken to be a poor introspector, but you don't seem to be reaching out for help so much as regaling perverts like myself with lurid stories of your wife's latest disciplinary action. If you really want help, then go deeper into what the problem is. Although you're only going to get slanted advice from a slanted audience. For what it's worth, your relationship sounds well-meant but misguided at best (simply by virtue of this blog's existence) and abusive at worst, and that's coming from someone who believes in DD as a viable relationship model.
-Rob
You ask some fair questions. As I pondered them I realized they deserved their own post. I will try to do that in the next few days.
DeleteI would say that the presents show beyond any shadow of a doubt that your wife is, at heart, a disciplinarian. Don't expect the spankings to end anytime in the near future.
ReplyDeleteI haven't written on your blog before, my wife put me onto reading it.I live in a female led relationship, were my darling wife is in total charge.The physical punishments are very painful, but much warranted when I misbehave.My dear wife uses other disciplines, which are humiliating and very embarrassing.These are much harder to endure, and I dislike them intensely.And wish she didn't use them (hope she doesn't read this comment lol), they are much worse than the spankings.
ReplyDeleteThe briefs your wife gave you, are unmanly and white in color.White is the color of submission, she wants you to wear them as a sign of your submissiveness to her.Each day you wear them will be a constant, reminder of your submissive place in your marriage.That is the whole point, she wants you to feel her dominance over you all the time.I also have to wear white briefs, as a sign of my submissive place to my beautiful wife.Although she allows me to wear Calvin Klein white briefs.Well that was until this week, when I got myself in trouble.My wife likes a lot of your wife's methods, she enjoys reading your blog like I said.She saw the briefs on your blog, and decided to put me into those.They are baggier and more boyish looking, than the Calvin Klein ones I usually wear.In fact she has called them my "man panties", I hate and detest them immensely.
She has told me I wont get, my other briefs back until my submissiveness level goes up.Although I hate wearing them I accept it, as I accept her dominance over me.I embrace her authority, and my submission to her, and adore her for it.Your wife is a naturally dominant Lady, and she knows exactly what she wants from you.She wants and will get, a loving obedient submissive husband.She is training you to be that, and is doing so because she loves you.It may not be what you want totally, but deep down you know it is good for you.Accept and embrace her dominance, and learn to savor your submissiveness to her.Fighting it will only make you feel, confused, resentful and unsure.
Your wife knows what she wants, and knows how to get it from you.Talk to her and tell her your feelings, and let her know how you feel about things.Communication and clarity are everything, if you can't accept her dominance, tell her.But from reading your blog, I don't think that is what you truly want.If you do want her dominance, sit her down and tell her that.But also share your fears and worries, be open and honest with her always.Then relax and accept her dominance, and let things flow from there.It will take a lot of the stress, from you and you will begin, to enjoy and savor your submissive place.You may find it is exactly what you want in your life, and it will make things so much easier.This is just my take on things, and I wish you all the best in the future.
William