You are reading what I feel will be the last post to this blog. One of my teachers once told me, you may think that the story you are writing will go on forever, but someday you will find that you want to close a chapter of your life and start a new one. This does not erase the story that went before, merely starts a new chapter, a new beginning. When the time comes to close a chapter and start a new one you will be ready and exited about that new chapter so do not fear it but embrace it. He was so right. And now I find myself ready to close a chapter of my life and start a new one. But first, some background.
I finally have an explanation to the mysterious behavior back in December with all the bare bottom warnings and the intense effort to fix my behavior. I actually had my answer in January and had been holding off disclosing it to the blogosphere, even though I was anonymous, until we were absolutely sure what was going on.
First off, it looks like my spanking days may finally be over once and for all. My wife has actually said so. She hopes that I will rise to the occasion and that spanking are no longer necessary. I hope she is right.
So like I said, I actually knew about this in January but have been holding off sharing it and I did decide to share one more story before I closed this chapter of my life and that was a story about an early childhood spanking I received from my mother.
You see in January, I began giving serious thought about the spankings of my childhood and how they paralleled with the spankings I was receiving as an adult from my wife. There was definitely a strong correlation between the two. The spankings I was getting from my wife, seemed similar to the spankings I got from my mother.
My wife and I began to have an honest discussion about spanking. About spanking me and of spanking children. About the spankings I received as a child and the spanking she received as a child. It was during that discussion that I became aware that it was my mother who was encouraging and coaching my wife to spank me, not Sarah. It was also my mother who made the suggestion that we are entering a stage in our marriage where she feels the spanking should stop.
We had a discussion about how spanking attitudes have changed and are no longer considered viable options for disciplining children. Oh sure I can make the I was spanked and turned out fine argument, but society does not agree. So my mother suggested it would not be appropriate for the spankings to continue with me. I did ask if that meant I could go back to boxers and she said, absolutely not. One has nothing to do with the other. Oh well.
So what is the big secret? Why all the drama? Well let's just say that next September when we hopefully welcome our own healthy new child into the world, that child we never know they pain of having his or her pants pulled down and getting spanked in front of another child.
So given that my wife and I are entering a new phase of our life. I have decided to end this blog and take on my new responsibilities as a father. I just hope that all the spankings I received until now have prepared me for this most important job.
I know many of my readers were hanging on for that fateful day when my wife would once and for all spank me in front of Sarah. I must admit I thought about writing a fictitious account of it as I imagined it would happen, but decided against it. Quite honestly, with all the doctor's appointments and preparing for the new arrival, I just don't have the time.
I will make one quick comment however. Seeing what my wife has to go through at the obstetrician did make me realize that my doctor's appointments are a piece of cake.
Thanks for being loyal readers and good bye. I will look for and try to respond to any comments that you may wish to share, but as for new posts? I think I am ready to close this chapter and if and when I write a new chapter, well, we shall see. I reserve the right to change my mind as nothing in this world is permanent, but for now. It looks like Chapter 1 is done.
Chapter Two...
I just discovered your blog a few days ago and have begun reading it from the beginning. I hope that although you are no longer posting, your blog will remain here for others to read. I wish you all the best with your family and in life.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I will probably leave it up and while I don't plan on sharing any "family" matters with this blog should I find myself over my wife's knee again and feel the need to vent, I reserve the right to make a new post. However, as it looks like the spankings may be over once and for all, I don't plan on reliving old experiences on here once the new arrival gets here.
DeleteGood luck with Chapter Two. Thanks for all your postings. It's been interesting following your journey.
ReplyDeleteThanks. And while I realize your situation was very different from mine, I did find your blog interesting as well.
DeleteHey RT,
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the new one! So it was the mother all along huh. I'm not shocked, but it is interesting that your wife was so determined to take your mothers advice that she overcame a lot to make good on spanking you. I'll bet you received your last spanking since your Mom's advice seems to be taken seriously by your wife.
Thanks for sharing your rather unique and compelling story. One question though, in hindsight did the spankings help you to "grow up" some or have other positive effects? Maybe asked another way, do you appreciate what your wife (and Mother) did for you by informing discipline in such a way?
Anyhow, I wish you and your family well.
KL
I can't say I "appreciate" the spankings, but perhaps they helped a little. I will tell you this however, the serious responsibility of raising a child has me taking things a lot more seriously than all of the spankings combined. I know it is not as interesting to read about, but being responsible for a whole new human being is very sobering, and the kid isn't even here yet.
DeleteDear RT,
ReplyDeleteFirstly, let me congratulate you and your wife for the very good news about your first child coming in September.
Secondly, let me congratulate you and your wife for having had a frank and open discussion about the role your mother has played in encouraging your wife to spank you, and now to discontinue it.
Thirdly, let me congratulate you and your wife for your passage from "Chapter 1" to "Chapter 2," as you describe it.
My take on this is that Chapter 1 primarily occurred because you have a very domineering wife, who was willing to take your mother's advice and run with it. The issue of your briefs is but a symptom. Since her domineering personality is part of who she is, that is not going to go away. Consequently, it seems more than plausible that your relationship will relapse into Chapter 1 occasionally in the future, whenever she feels it to be necessary to correct something that you are doing that really upsets her.
"Hope springs eternal;" quite true, but reality wins out in the end.
First off, thanks,
ReplyDeleteYou are correct about my wife being a domineering personality. Now that we have had a frank discussion, my mother became aware of my wife's dominant personality while we were dating and engaged. She saw how my then girlfriend/fiance laid down the law and implemented "punishments" After we were married, my Wife and Mother were shopping together when she mentioned some "childish" behavior of mind that she felt needed to be corrected. That's when my mother shared her opinion that perhaps a good spanking was in order. It did not take my wife much persuasion beyond that. It was my mother's suggestion that she threaten to spank me in front of Sarah. Not sure if she suggested she should actually do it or not. We may never know.
As for future relapse? I don't know. I have heard that many men mature once they take on the responsibility of raising a child. Unfortunately, some don't but we shall see.
I think this is right, that "many men mature once they take on the responsibility of raising a child," and you probably will as well. But having children inevitably brings new tensions into a marriage, as well as lots of joys. So the question of whether she will return to Chapter 1, on occasion, with spankings, is not completely dependent on more maturity on your part, but also on how your domineering wife responds to these tensions.
DeleteWhen we had our only child, a son, I decided to quit taking crap from my wife, and I stood up to her most of the time, especially when she was unreasonable with him. (She was almost never as mean to him as she routinely is to me anyway, but there were times when I had to defend him.) Now that he is off into the real world (and a greater success than I ever was), my wife has taken again to seriously disciplining me. I have reverted to my pre-fatherhood days. I cannot stand up to her, even though physically she is no match for me. So I see where you're coming from, wanting to act mature in front of your child for his/her sake.
ReplyDeleteThis child has changed our dynamic. For now, the spankings have stopped.
DeleteAlso, while we don't know the child's gender (we decided to wait to find out) we agreed that in spite of what worked for me (i.e. spanking) our child will not be spanked. Its hard to think about hitting a helpless little baby anyway and if we do our job right he/she will learn right and wrong and if not, we will certainly lay down the law without spanking.
As we were having this discussion, my wife joked, "Well, it we fail to straighten him out, his wife can spank him into line." she then laughed slightly.
I replied back, "Well, what if its a girl? Should her husband spank her?" She got quiet, ignored my comment and moved on to the next topic.
Made me think.
I thought I would share with you a thought on the new baby. My son was planned and I had been married for a couple of years. During the pregnancy I was pretty freaked out all the way up to the day he was born. After that life changed and I stopped freaking out. My point is, if you are a little freaked (uncertainty of it, etc.), try not to be it will work out fine.
ReplyDeleteI might also suggest you read some books on babies/kids. Your wife will, and you want to be a partner. I made the mistake of just being there and letting my wife be 100% in charge of the kids at first. I was supportive but out to lunch on kids. Get educated and proactive, not over the top (she is the Mom after all). Information is KIng so make sure you have it.
Lastly, I also want to make the point that I learned a lot from your postings. Also want to give a shout out to many of the posters who gave some really insightful postings (mixed in with some stupid ones too). Point being a good blog is interactive and educational - so, success.
KL
Thanks for the advice, but rest assured, this child is wanted and I am not freaked out.
DeleteSomething like this happened to us and I often wonder how common it is for a mother to suggest spanking to a new wife. My wife was encouraged by my mother to spank me but it was not a secret as your experience as my mother made a point of telling me about it. My wife would have been a strong disciplinarian without spanking but spanking gave her an authority I could never resist. Like you are experiencing the spankings stopped when our child came. But they started again several years later without warning or real explanation. They are disciplinary and I resisted them at first but today I believe they have strengthened our marriage and I would ask her to continue if she stopped
ReplyDeleteWell, I will just have to see. Of course, that leaves all the readers in suspense as I am probably not going to be writing this blog several years from now. I guess you will just have to write your own ending.
DeleteI think your fantasy didn't give you good advice with this story. First and for all, whoever beats has always lost. He has lost all rights to act as a role model and he has lost all rights to be able to live on the same level again with who has been beaten. Only very weak characters tend to use violence as a tool. In our society, "beating" is not from anywhere, regardless of whether children or adults are made a criminal offense. But, as we can see with this story, there are people whose confused minds prevent them from realizing for themselves how mentally ill they really are!
ReplyDelete