Skid Marks

Well, we are off to a new year and while so far I have been spank free, the year has not gotten off to a good start.  While of course the starting of a new year is an artificial milestone in that one day is the same as the next, we often times give it a lot of significance and use it as an excuse to restart our lives in many ways.  It is quite the sight to see how much busier the health clubs and gyms are in January and knowing that come February half of those people will stop coming and life will return to normal.  I have the same feeling myself.  In some ways, January feels different with  respect to how my wife has been spanking me.  In someways it feels like the spankings are over and the slate has been wiped clean, but at the same time, she has been treating me differently.  Things don't feel quite the same.

I have already written about the nasty virus I got right at the start of the year and how my wife used that as an excuse to take my temperature rectally.  That was not the first time she had taken my temperature rectally.  In fact, the first time she took it rectally I was suffering from a severe stomach virus and was throwing up violently.  When she came to take my temperature rectally I felt a warmth and respect for her because here I was in real bad physical shape.  I was this gross pile of humanity and yet my wife was there by my side to take care of me, comfort me and even willing to take my temperature in a manner than exposed her to a sweaty, smelly part of my body.  When she did it then I felt a strong affection, and while not quite an erotic experience for me, I did enjoy her taking my temperature that way at that time.

Part of my feelings at the time was because while I know I certainly would have been there to support her, comfort her, clean up any puke that may have missed the bowl, bring her water, cool towels or anything I could have done to make her miserable illness more bearable, the thought of using a rectal thermometer to insure her temperature was not reaching dangerous levels and then being willing to insert a Ibuprofen suppository when it got too high would have never occurred to me and would have repulsed me if I did.  I know, bad husband, but excrement does not excite me.  Would I have done it if she asked me to?  Yes, for better or worse in sickness or in health, I get that, but I would not have thought to do it on my own.

I know many of my readers saw this incident as anal play or a continuing domination of my bottom by my wife.  A violation of my backside if you will.  At the time, I did not see it that way.  It was medically necessary and I loved and respected my wife for her willingness to do it.

So fast forward to my last illness.  What was different?  Well, for starters, I did not consider what she did as medically necessary.  Oh sure she came up with this ridiculous excuse about the oral thermometer not working for me, but it works for her?  How convenient.  So I have to have my temperature taken in my bottom while she gets to take hers in her mouth.   So did I test the thermometer like I said I would in my last post?  Well, yes and sure enough it seems to get an accurate reading in warm water.  I took the liberty of swirling some 100 degree water around my mouth and then taking my temperature with the oral thermometer and I did get 100 or so degrees.  I don't know how she did it, but somehow I remain convinced that my wife tricked me into taking my temperature rectally that day.

This changed the way I felt about the whole thing.  When I was throwing up it felt reassuring to have my wife take care of med.  Now, I tend to side with the those who felt this was just another way my wife was exerting control over me.  It is clear now that that was her intention all along.  The first temperature she took was when I was more likely to be receptive to it.  Now, she has insisted that is the only way I should take my temperature.  Well, now I feel violated.   Clearly she has added one more thing to the list of things she subjects me to to make me feel weak and vulnerable to her.

If I had any doubts that she was looking for an excuse to make me feel weak and exposed to her, after I got better I suggested that we purchase one of those ear thermometers if the oral did not work on me.  She said she would 'consider' it, but since the rectal worked she saw no reason to spend $30 on a thermometer with questionable accuracy.   I thought to myself, 'come on?  Questionable accuracy?'  Who cares if it is 101.3 or 101.7?  We are not looking for absolute precision here, we just need to know if a fever is normal, low, medium or high.  So I said, OK, well then perhaps next time we can just take it under my arm.  You can use the same thermometer for that.  She was a little more open to that idea, but still, the underlying intention was clear.  I am sure there would be a reason why the underarm temperature was not acceptable.  Hell, if someone were to give us a hospital grade ear thermometer I am sure she would find a reason why that was not acceptable (for me of course, everything is acceptable for her).  So in spite of the fact that we live in a time when there are dozens of ways to take someones temperature, apparently the the only way that works for me is the one that requires me to have my pants pulled down and my bottom penetrated.

Now if it was just the temperature taking incident, I would have been suspicious enough, but then there was another incident.  I was just finishing up a shower when my wife can into the bathroom.  Well, no big deal, we are married after all.  Again, normally no issue with her seeing me in the nude.  As I stood there drying off she bent down and picked up the pair of briefs that I had discarded on the floor.  Now, I am pretty good about picking up my clothes.  I usually take my underpants off in the bathroom and will pick them up and place them in the hamper when I am done showering, so that is not where this is going.

I thought nothing of it figuring she was just being helpful.  After all, she knows I always pick them up after I shower so I would not have expected her to yell at me for that.  She starts speaking in a gentle tone,

"Honey, I hate to embarrass you with this, but I have been meaning to ask you about something."

I look at her puzzled.  What does she want to talk about that could not wait until I was dressed?

She holds up my underpants and shows me the stain in them.  I don't want to get too gross, but I think you know what I am talking about.  I thought to myself 'skid marks?'   Not to be too cavalier about it, but I think to myself, So what?  Nobody's perfect.  I am sure there are marks on her panties.  Besides, I thought that was exactly the reason she insisted I wear briefs.  She had claimed that they were more hygienic in that they contained these kinds of mishaps better than boxers and were easily bleached.  I wasn't sure what her concern was.

I looked at her confused and all I could say was "What?"

"Well, I don't want to embarrass you, but these are the brand new ones I got for Christmas.  I mean I understand that sometimes things happen, but for you it looks like you never wipe properly and I am not so sure you even wash back there properly."

I was hurt.  I was so tempted to go to the hamper and start pulling out all her panties.   I mean I help with the laundry and no offense ladies, but lets face it, you are always leaking and oozing something from your three holes that it is impossible for your panties not to get stained.  That is the reason we wear underpants is it not?  To deal with the faults of the human body and keep our clothes clean.   I was about to start to argue with her but she beat me to the punch.

"I know this embarrasses you but I don't think you are washing properly."  She picks up a washcloth rinses it under some water from the sink, wrings it out and hands it to me.  "Here, wipe your bottom with this for me."

I stared at her in disbelief.  What was this all about.  But I figured it was best just to get it over with so I ran the warm cloth through my butt cheek and much to my disgust and surprise it came out streaked with brown.  I must admit I myself was a bit appalled.  I never would have thought my bottom could have still been soiled like that after I just got out of the shower.

She spoke again, "Not only did I notice your underpants, but I have seen stains like that on the towel.  You must dry your bottom with it when you come out of the shower."

I was so mortified for being called out on this lapse in my hygiene.  I truly did not realize it.  I did not know what to say.  Now if this was simply a wife discussing an honest, even if a difficult, topic with her husband, that would have been the end of it.  I would have accepted her criticism for what it was, the pointing out of something I needed to be made aware of so that I could fix it, but it did not end there.

She told me to get back into the shower, which I did.  She rinsed out the washcloth under the shower head, soaped up the washcloth then ordered me to turn around.

I realized she intended to wash me herself and felt a little bit embarrassed about it so I said, "I can do this myself."

She snapped back firmly, "obviously you can't do this yourself that is why I we had to have this discussion, now turn around."

All of a sudden I became very self conscious of the fact that I was naked in the shower, my wife fully clothed and I was being ordered to turn around so she could wash my bottom.  I felt so ridiculous.  So humiliated.    I squeaked back, "I can do it.  I just did not realize it before.  Now that you brought it to me attention I will be more careful."

"Turn around!", she replied very firmly.  She was not yelling, but she said it forcefully enough that I immediately turned around in fear.  It was that same forcefulness I have seen in her when she is ordering me to drop my pants or bend over for a spanking.

I felt her spread my cheeks wide and felt the soapy washcloth work its way deep between my cheeks.  She scrubbed it well from the base of my spine all the way to my scrotum.  I felt so helpless and ashamed that my wife had to wash out my bottom like I was a baby or an invalid.   She stopped with the washcloth then pushed and pulled me into position under the shower to make sure I was well rinsed off.  She parted my cheeks to help get the water to reach all the spot it needed to reach.  After a few minutes she shut the water off and told me I could dry up and get dressed.

She left the bathroom and I humbly dried off and got dressed.  I came out of the bathroom to find her sitting on the bed.  She looked at me and simply said, "For the next few days, I will be supervising your shower to make sure you are washing yourself properly.  I am sorry I have to do this, but it is clear you either never learned to properly keep yourself clean or you learned, but then failed to keep up with it.  Either way, I want your hygiene to improve, so I will be washing you myself for the next day or two.  After that I will be supervising you to make sure you are doing it properly.  After that, I will perform spot inspections to make sure you have not lapsed.  I hope we can develop better habits in you."

I just did not know how to feel about this.  Once again she found what appeared to be a perfectly legitimate reason to expose my bottom to her.  I mean we have been married for several years and all of a sudden she decides that I have not been practicing good hygiene?  So even if it was true and she finally had enough of it, why not just tell me the difficult truth and ask me to be more aware of my poor habits and work to improve them.

She then stood up again and went to dresser and picked up a box I did not notice before.  It was a box of wet wipes.  She then said, "Keep these in the bathroom.  After you have wiped yourself use one of these to make sure you are really clean down there."

My heart began beating faster as I had assumed she intended to also supervise my wiping but she continued, "I really don't want to have to wipe your bottom for you so I am going to trust you to do this yourself.  I will be keeping an eye on your underpants in the laundry to see if the problem continues."

Well, at least she has her limits.  But here we are again.  Another excuse to keep my bottom exposed.  And while it is a minor thing, now she has made me self conscious that she will be inspecting my underpants.  So I am in constant awareness of my backside and her control of it.  This is what many of my readers had warned me about.

So far, everything has been gentle and on the pretense of taking care of me.  There has been an excuse as to why she has to do what she is doing.  My heart pounds as I think of some of the warnings that I had received in my comments.  I am not sure where this is going but for now I will wait and see.

Emotionally I have been feeling very strange.  In the past, the spankings were few and far between with a normal life in between.  Oh sure there have times when I was spanked within days of each other or had to stay in the guest room for a day or two, but even that was short lived.  Now here it has been over a month and my pants have been coming day every day or two, my temperature was taken rectally for a few days and now my wife is washing my butt like I was a 2 year old.   The attention my backside has been getting from her has been nearly constant and constant enough that it has been preoccupying my thoughts. I am living in a constant state of awareness of my backside and on edge waiting for the next reason my wife will use to bare my bottom.  All this without a single spanking in over 8 weeks.

In my comments someone asked if my wife and I have been having sex.  The answer has been no and not entirely by her decision.  Since all this has been happening I have found it difficult to get aroused around my wife.  I have been   experiencing these feelings of inadequacy and inferiority that have not left me "in the mood."  After one session of bare bottom time I went to the bathroom and was actually embarrassed by my own pathetic penis all shriveled up from the shame of being constantly exposed to my wife.  I know this turns on a lot of my readers, but I always enjoyed a feeling of equality in love making with my wife.  Now forget about love making, I don't feel a sense of equality with my wife in anything anymore.  The whole time she has been baring my bottom, taking my temperature, etc., I have not seen her undressed or even in her underwear at all.  

Yes so far 2015 has been off to a very emotionally draining start.   I know there is a lot of speculation from my readers as to where this is heading, but for now.  I think I am just going to wait and see and hope this ends soon and things get back to "normal" even if that means the occasional spanking.