Once Upon A Time.

Well, with the first two posts I had jumped into the present and I ranted on what was on my mind at the time.  I now decided to settle down and give a little history of how I got to where I am today.

I will start back when we were dating.  We had been going out for a few weeks and had just come back from a dinner and a movie when she invited me into her apartment.  We sat down on the couch and said she wanted to speak with me and have a serious discussion.

She then told me that she was a virgin and that she intended to stay that way until she was married.  She said she was telling me this because so far she really liked me and that she saw a deeper and stronger relationship developing and that we would probably become "more intimate" with each other, but if I was expecting to have intercourse with her, that was not going to happen.  I must admit that the conversation caught me by surprise and in some ways it was refreshing to see that there were still young woman who felt this way.  At the time, I was still a virgin too, but for me it was not because I had any strong conviction to remain pure until my wedding day, it was just that to date I had been unable to find a woman willing to let me go all the way with her.  I gulped and realized that I could be truthful with her and tell her I was still a virgin, but not necessarily let her know why and perhaps she would respect me for it.

So I asked her, "would you believe me if I said that I too was still a virgin?"

She replied, "Are you?"

"Yes", I said.

"Why would you think that I would not believe you?"

"Well," I paused tossing the words in my mind, "it just seems like no one our age is a virgin anymore.  It seems like everyone has done it by now."  I immediately regretting using the phrase 'done it' but it seemed to go unnoticed.

She smiled and said, "That is exactly what society wants you to believe.  There are a lot of people our age who are holding this back until they are married.  Yes, there are lots of people who have 'done it' by now, but there are just as many who a willing to wait so that when they do 'do it' they can know that is something truly special that they are sharing with each other."

She then leaned across and gave me a kiss on the lips.  She looked up into my eyes placed a hand on my cheeks and kissed me again only this time I felt her tongue pressing its way gently into my mouth.  She smiled at me and said, "like I said, I want to become 'more intimate' with you.  Just want you understand that it will not include intercourse.

Well, given my past history with women I saw no reason to argue over the offer.  Even kissing was more action than I was getting with my hand at night, so I smiled and just said, "Understood."

It was a sweet an innocent moment in the dating life of a young couple, but looking back, it was probably also the first hint that my then future wife would be gently molding my behavior and when I failed to respond to that gently persuasion she would resort to more punitive methods.

We spent the rest of the night on the couch kissing and cuddling and I left with a raging hard on.  When I got home I stripped completely naked and slowly stroked my self to orgasm while I relived the kissing from the evening and I found it one of the better jerk off session I had in a while.  It was then I realized that having an emotional attachment to someone beyond the physical attraction that I would get from watching porn made for a more intense experience.  I wiped myself up put my boxers and t-shirt on then went to bed.  In spite of the good release I had before bed, I woke up with a morning boner as thoughts of her came back into my head.  Of course you know how this story turns out, but even for me at that time I had the thought that I was probably going to marry this woman someday and it would be worth waiting for that day to have intercourse. Until then, jerking off was going to feel really good.