Tuesday, October 8, 2013
A Man REALLY Punished by his Wife
Hi and welcome to my blog. I decided to start this blog as I have been married for 2 years and in a very unique relationship,. At first, when I searched the web I found lots of talking about "Domestic Discipline Relationship" where the female is "in charge" and "punishes" her husband. At first I came to the conclusion that this was exactly the situation that I was in. However, the more I read and looked into this the more I realized this was not really the case with me.
I would like to share a few items in our history and then share some stories with you about incidents over the past 2 years. To be honest, I would love to be able to share my issues and concerns with a therapist but am simply too embarrassed to speak to one in person. So to start the blog I will just give some random background information then follow up with stories once I know people have discovered this blog and are interested.
It is hard to say if I am in a "Domestic Discipline" relation or not. From what I have read, those relationships seem to be consensual I also wouldn't say that I am in a BDSM relationship as those relationship seem to have some sort of sexual component to them.
What happens to me is that my wife has complete control over me, but it is neither consensual or sexual. She will punish me occasionally with hard, bare bottomed spankings when she feels that I deserve it and she has certain requirements that she demands of me that make me very uncomfortable. I wouldn't say that I feel abused, but I wouldn't say that it is consensual either. I feel really small and helpless when she punishes me this way, I really don't want to be spanked by her, but at the same time, I submit to her because I have grown to see her as the "adult" in the house. I no more want to be spanked then I would presume a child wants to be spanked, but I also feel that I have no choice and can't resist.
Because of this, the fact that I accept her authority and submit to her discipline I guess in a way I am "consenting" The problem I have with this when reading all the other blogs and stories out there, clearly the couple gets aroused by the discipline and it is clearly part of the sexual bonding of the couple. That is not the case with me.
My spankings are very infrequent as in general I am well behaved (I am adult after all.) but when I mess up, its into our bedroom, pants and underpants down and over her knee for either the back of hairbrush or the ruler. It hurts and I tear up, but I would not call it crying. My spankings average about once a month. I know I have read blogs and groups looking for men in a similar situation as me, but none of them seem to be exactly the same. I am not spanked for sexual arousal. She claims she needs to punish me because I still act immature and if I misbehave I have no right to refuse her orders to submit to punishment. She says spankings are the ideal punishment as it create a little pain and much embarrassment and since I really hate them they have the desired effect or getting me to change my behavior.
Again, I take no pleasure in this and get no sexual arousal from it, but reluctantly will do as I am told. So the only "consent" I am giving is in the fact that I acknowledge that I have screwed up, I am sorry for it, but I don't see why I have to be spanked like a child.
There are two other things that really bother me. One is, she refuses to allow me to wear boxers and demands that I only wear white fruit of the loom briefs. She claims that they are simply cheaper then boxers (which they are) and that they are better for hygiene in the event that I don't wipe properly. She states that simple white briefs can be bleached which is better for killing any germs on them. She also states that since we are married I shouldn't be trying to impress anyone with my underwear and that simple white briefs serve well for the intended purpose and that anything else is unnecessary. To be fair she does practice what she preaches. She wears simple white panties for all the same reasons she makes me wear white briefs.
To be honest, I have no problems with tighty whities and would gladly wear them 99% of the time. The only time I want to be allowed boxers is when I go to my doctor for my annual physical which is taking place in two weeks. I know I am being silly, but the thought of having to strip to my TWs in front of the nurse and doctor is just too embarrassing for me. It is also the only time when her, no one should see my underwear, argument is invalid. I actually thought about sneaking a pair of boxers into the house then changing into them before I go to the doctor, even if it means finding a public restroom to change in before my appointment. I should be allowed to wear boxers to my doctor's appointment if I so choose. I understand the cost issue, but what is the big deal of having one pair for the special occasions like this. If I have to wear TWs to please her, I wish she would at least allow me boxers for my physical. I am thinking about asking her for permission to wear the boxers but I am just a little afraid she will say no and if she does then sneaking a pair in might be more difficult.
The second thing that has me real concerned is next week she will be having a girl friend of hers over. Last time her friend was over I said something I shouldn't have to her. She got annoyed with me and when her friend left she took me upstairs and of course I was spanked. Yesterday, she warned me that if I acted like that again when her friend was over, she was not going to wait for her to leave. Instead she was going to pull my pants and undies down in front of her friend and spank me right then and there.
Now I have been a nervous wreck since wondering if she really would do it or if it was just a threat to make sure I didn't repeat my childish behavior from the last visit. I certainly have no intention of finding out and she is not one to make up transgressions or excuses to spank me. She does it so infrequently it doesn't look like she is looking for any excuse to spank me. I am sure I will be OK next week, but the thought that somehow this situation would be revealed to another person really scares me.
I am so confused I can understand role play as a sexual thing, but that is not what is going on here and I am not sure what to do. I am really worried about having to go to the doctors in my white briefs and I am really worried about her girl friend coming over next week.
Men reading this board. Does this sound right to you?
Ladies, your taking charge of your husbands is consensual right? This should be a sex thing between a couple where one is only pretending to be in charge and the other a naughty little boy who needs to be punished Am I the only one truly under the control of his wife? Would you allow me boxers for my physical? After all, I accept my wife's discipline but what happens in the bedroom should stay in the bed room right?
Now I will be happy to share what happened regarding my physical and what happened when my wife's friend came over, but I would like to know if anyone is reading this yet before I take the time to post an update, so please provide comments as I intend to write this blog to help me deal with the strange life I am living, so all comments are appreciated.
Thanks for taking the time to read my blog.
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Hi RT
ReplyDeleteI hope you continue to write because your situation is interesting and may not be that unusual. Blogging takes time to develop an audience so stay with it and you will. Personally I don’t know what to think about you situation yet. But your relationship really is consensual in that you accept your wife’s discipline and seem to acknowledge it is necessary. Also spankings seems to work to modify your behavior and that is a main element in many DD relationships.
What is unusual with you is that most women don’t take charge the way your wife has without a clear signal from the husband that he realizes he needs discipline. There are at least a few women who take the bull by the horns and institute discipline without their husband asking for it. I think this happens most often when a wife decides a new husband is irresponsible or immature which seems to ne what is happening with you. Anyway please continue to write and tell us more. The writing alone would be therapy for you and if possible share it with your wife something that will improve the communication for both of you. Most important of all remember there are thousands of husbands out there getting spanked by their wife, some probably more often and more severely than you are. You are definitely not alone.
Alan
An interesting question. My wife has discussed it with two of her girlfriends both in my presence and outside it. But neither of us has ever approached another couple other than one couple we know who do practice DD already. We also strongly suspect several other couples we know of being in a DD relationship but have no certainty of that. But approaching another couple who might fit the DD style probably isn’t something we would do unless they sent out clear signals of interest. One reason is that you never really know what goes on in a marriage and you would have to know another couple very well to judge they were good candidates for DD. The other reason is I believe the DNA is either there or it isn’t. No really vanilla couple is going to adopt successfully DD no matter how much they might “need it” Also I think there are thousands of couples in DD and no one would know from their outward appearance. Outside a few people who know nobody would suspect we practice anything but a conventional marriage but once that door closes my wife is all business.
I understand your fear of embarrassment if a third party found out or witnessed a spanking. But I also believe that your disciplinary relationship with your wife is mostly fantasy until you have to acknowledge to a third party you are discipline spanked or actually are spanked in front of a witness. I went through it and until a girlfriend spanked me in front of her best friend I thought of it as an erotic game I could always call off or deny. But once that public spanking or exposure happens you can’t deny anymore that it is real and your wife or girlfriend really controls you. Being spanked in front of a witness is really a reality check that makes you feel your wife’s authority and greatly increases her confidence in controlling you. It makes you acknowledge you need discipline and it’s not just an erotic game.
Alan
Thanks for sharing your experience Alan. Still it sounds like on some level you enjoy your arrangement. If you have been following my updates you can see that so far I have not been spanked in front of anyone else.
DeleteThis is a troll, right?
ReplyDeleteIn the unlikely event that you're not a troll, put your foot down and tell your wife that you don't want this and, as an adult, you are in no position for her to force you to do anything. If she gets pushy, then that's abuse.
If you're okay with it then do whatever you want, but you've made it sound like you aren't. So don't let her.
Hi S.N.M.
DeleteOf all the comments I have received so far yours is the first I felt compelled to reply to. First off I hope I don't discourage the other comments as I really do appreciate them all, but you are the first to have a serious question about what I am writing here.
Am I a troll? I am glad you have a healthy skepticism as I have certainly read some interesting tales on the internet and I am not sure what is real or what is fantasy. It is clear you think this is fiction, but truth can be stranger than fiction. The important thing is that even though you have doubts, as you should, you provided the very feedback I was looking for and I appreciate it. Is this abuse? Why don't I just put my foot down? I have thought about these very questions and will address them in a future post just as soon as I provide enough background to help you understand. I sincerely hope you stick around long enough to provide some feedback once I discuss these topics. Whether you believe me or not.
Your description of your wife’s authority over you and administering punishment spankings mirror the exact relationship in my marriage. I only receive punishment spankings and there is no sexual aspects at all. They hurt like hell. My wife began the process of disciplining me as a result of my refusing to discuss with her aspects in our relationship which resulted in my making very poor decisions and later us both suffering the consequences. Additionally, I would deny my actions which only made matters worse. My attitude was defiant and we were moving further apart. She finally had had enough and set down a “rule book” that I was to follow and I reluctantly agreed. After multiple offenses to those rules, she realized that punishments must be instituted to fit the misdeeds. My first spankings were quite mild as she was concerned about hurting me. As a result, they were quite ineffective. All that changed when after one very serious offense, she was very angry and used an oversized paddle on my bare bottom that seemed to go on forever. I was a sobbing, pleading and begging for forgiveness. Now all spankings are bare bottom, over her knee with the paddle.
ReplyDeleteI think there are a great many couples who have some form of a DD relationship. Spanking may or may not play a role, but the husband accepts the discipline of the wife and knows that she calls the shots!
Ladies, forget the boxers and tightie briefs? Feminine nylon panties works better, on his hair-free balls," ha,ha"also might add" pantyhose" Nylons, garter belts too? Stop his flirting with the secretaries at his office! He also just at times, wearing the same underwear the girls are wearing? Frustrated lady!
DeleteThanks for the comments. Glad you enjoy projecting your fantasy onto my predicament, but sadly for you (and good for me) my wife has not interest in getting me to wear women's clothes.
DeleteMy own experience is that spanking and sex are never far apart. My wife first spanked me for what (I will admit) was a serious case of misbehaving on my part - and it ended up with some hot 'making up'...
ReplyDeleteThat same pattern has since been repeated on so many occasions that it has become a familiar occurrence - much to her enjoyment... and to the soreness of my backside !
I wish there was "Making Up" Usually after I have been spanked it can be days or even weeks before the sex resumes.
DeleteTwo questions; 1) Have you had your genitals spanked? 2) You say she's stronger and bigger than you? Does she ever carry you
ReplyDeletelooks like I'm quite late to this blog, as the story was written almost 4 years ago... and I'm guessing that since there was no 'update' that you were well behaved and didnt have to suffer the added royal embarrassment of having to be spanked bare bottom in front of your wife's girlfriend.... my question is though, was as much as you feared that that would happen if you accidentally screwed up, was there a part of you that was secretly hoping it would? did you ever look at her and think 'omg... she might be witnessing me getting a spanking soon' and relish in the excitement/fear/embarrassment of that thought?
ReplyDelete