Implied Consent

I know I started this blog to answer one very important question.  Am I in an abusive relationship?

The question really boils down to is this a consensual relationship?

Many of you were generous enough to provide comments and I did read all the comments and there seems to be a question of did I imply my consent?  That is a good question.

As I have pondered the comments (and thanks to everyone who comments, you definitely make this blog a lot more interesting than I could myself)  I realize that I myself am not sure of the answer so there is no way anyone reading the blog can know (mind reader or not)

I was speaking with a friend of mine who was a lawyer about a burglary near us that had us all concerned.  I incorrectly said "so and so's place was 'robbed'" and he corrected me and said, no robbery is the unlawful taking of property by 'force'.  He then explained that larceny was the unlawful taking of property without force and that burglary was unlawfully entering a premise for the purpose of committing a crime (at least where I live, laws may vary where you are) where almost 99% of the time that crime is larceny.  I found the discussion fascinating and figured this play on words is why lawyers make the big bucks.  Anyway I became fascinated with the legalese and we continued discussing various scenarios when I presented the following scenario, "so I am walking down the street and someone comes up to me and says, 'give me your wallet' and I give him my wallet.  Did he commit a crime?"

He replied, "probably, why did you give him your wallet?"

"Well, I guess its because I was unsure what he would do if I didn't give it to him.  So I guess he committed larceny then?"

"No," he replied., "its robbery.  Or at least that's what I would charge him with as a prosecutor.  Of course the defense would try to argue out of it, but I could make the case for robbery."

"But he didn't use force?"

"Legally, the threat of force is all that is needed for a robbery.  The actual use of that force would be a separate charge.  If I came at you with a knife and said, 'give me your wallet' and you did that is robbery.  If I then stabbed you, that would be assault with a deadly weapon.  If I actually killed you that would be murder.  That's the way the law works.  As a prosecutor I would actually charge you will all 3 plus possession of a deadly weapon, possession of stolen property, speeding, jaywalking and anything else I can think of."

I was fascinated by all this and kind of wish I became a lawyer.  Its not that I am not smart enough, its just that I didn't have the time and money for law school and not all lawyers make the big bucks so you may not make it all back.  My friend does well but as an Assistant DA he is not rolling in the dough either.

Anyway, I got to thinking about the robbery example.   The threat of force is the same as force.  So I went back to my example.  "so if the robber didn't actually display a knife or make a threat how is that robbery?"

"Simple, you stated you were concerned by what he would do if you didn't give him your wallet.  Even if he never made a threat, a reasonable person would assume that force would have been used had they not surrendered their wallet.  My job as a prosecutor would be to convince a jury that the threat of force was used.  The defense of course will try to convince the jury that he merely asked you for it and you surrendered it of your own free will out of the goodness of your heart.  I actually had a case where the defense tried this trick and it didn't work.  I got a conviction.  Of course it helped that the guy was 6 foot and full of muscle and he seemed to only ask 100 pound weaklings and women.  Too bad the last woman he asked was a cop.  She produced her wallet for him and when he saw her badge he ran.  Perhaps that is the real reason I got the conviction.  True story."

OK, I know that many of you are following my blog because they like to read about a gown man being pulled over his wife's knees and being spanked on his bare bottom and are disappointed that I am not providing any wanking material for you ( it doesn't bother me if you "like" my stories in that way) , sorry, but all these things get me thinking.

Is my wife using force in a legal sense.  I have admitted that I have not completely resisted as I am not sure exactly what would happen if I did.   There is hardly any physical force other than the actual spanking itself and the pushing and pulling.  The question I ask myself is what would happen if I was to simply not comply and tell her to get lost.  I don't know and I am afraid to really find out.  What force if any would she use?  Would she simply just give up and they would end?  While I would love to ask my lawyer friend (but I would never dare) if I can charge my wife with assault,  I am not sure I want to, but I am curious.  I don't want to get my wife in trouble but I am sure that if I actually made a complaint that my wife was spanking me without my consent I would have a hard time proving that this was anything other than sex play.  I have searched high and low and so far I have not found a single credible story of a wife being charged with assault for spanking her husband.  Oh sure, wifes punching kicking stabbing, there are plenty of stories like that.  If my wife kicked me and I made a complaint to the police I am sure they would arrest her and believe me, but what would happen if I were to call the police to complain that my wife is spanking me?  Would they laugh at me and tell me to just shut up and enjoy it?  I know a lot of people enjoy being spanked so they assume that I would enjoy it to.  Like I said, I have never heard of a story of a women being arrested for spanking her husband.   Is this because I haven't found it yet or is it because no man  would be willing to sign a complaint that he is being spanked?  I know I am too scared to make a complaint and admit I was spanked.  Even if I wasn't too embarrassed to make a complaint, I don't want my wife arrested.  I love her.  So she is spanking me and I am afraid not to submit.  Is that implied consent?  If I felt the same way and she took my wallet, then according to my friend that would be robbery.

I remain confused as ever.

My First Spanking Part 2

First off, sorry for the delay.  I did not mean for my last post to be a cliff hanger, but I just got busy and I needed to make sure I did not shirk my responsibilities.  This is a very busy time of the year both at work and at home and I can't guarantee there won't be a long delay between this post and my next, but thanks for everyone's patience.

So when I last posted, I had just gotten to the point in the story where my wife had announced her intentions to spank me and was ordering me upstairs to the bedroom and I had refused.

I stood there and she was tightly gripping my upper arm.  I was totally confused and could not believe this was happening to me.  We had been married about 4 months now and while she certainly had "punished" me in other ways other than spanking me while we were dating, I had assumed those were tests being conducted as part of the dating ritual and I had fully expected them to end when we got married just like the sexual teasing and restriction seemed to end when we got married.

"I am your husband, not your child.  This is not how mature couples solve their problems.", I replied, pretty much indicating that I was not going to play her game.  I fact I followed up with, "if this is some sexual fantasy of yours, I don't want to participate."  I thought that would end the conversation.  I really thought that she was simply playing a game and it was a game I had no interest in playing.

To my surprise, she gripped my arm tighter and pulled me closer to her then looked me in the eye, "This is not a game.  I get no gratification from doing this sexually or otherwise, but you need to understand something.  You are indeed my husband and that means that your actions no longer effect just you.  If you make a commitment to me and you fail in that commitment at the very least you should be apologetic and be trying to figure out how to make amends.  Instead, you stood there making excuses, telling me to chill out and telling me it is no big deal that you had more important things to do then meet your responsibilities.  Yes, you are my husband, but you sometimes act like an immature child.  I do not want a husband who acts like an immature child.  To help you understand how serious I am I am going to spank you and I will spank you every time you act like a child.  That is they way it is going to be."

The lecture she delivered was calm and measure.  She was not yelling or freaking out.  I think it was her appearance of total control that had me most intimidated.  I stood there slightly trembling now and starting to feel like I was losing control.  I really did not want to be spanked by her.  I replayed her argument over in my head, but the scary thing was that I could not think of a logical response to her other than to reiterate what I had already said.  So I gulped hard and said, "and if I refuse to let you spank me?"

She looked down ever so slightly and in an almost hushed tone as if she really didn't want to say it, "Like I said, I do not want a husband who acts like an immature child."

The implication was clear, even if it was not spoken.  I could have pulled away and told her to fuck off, but I didn't .  I could have just laughed and said, 'well I am who I am, love me or leave me.' or reminded her that she married me 'for better or worse' and that while not perfect, I certainly tried to be a better husband than a lot of the other jerks out there.  Forgetting something, even something important was not the same as cheating on her or treating her like dirt.  These were all valid points and I should have made them, but as I tossed these thoughts around in my head I kept coming back to her central theme.  It was not what I did, but the attitude I had about it.  I make mistakes, she makes mistakes.  When she makes mistakes she takes responsibility for them and tries to fix them.  When I make mistakes, I blame others, sometimes even blaming her. That was the difference.  That was what she was really accusing me of when she was saying I was acting like a child.  Still I did not want to be spanked, but I did begin to feel a little inferior to her as these thoughts entered into my head.

My tone became more apologetic.  "Look honey, I know I screwed up but I really don't think I should be spanked.  After all I am a grown man."

At that, she began to pull me towards the stairs again.  It was then that I realized that she was stronger than me.  She may not have been strong enough to pick me up and carry me up the stairs, but she was strong enough to over come my passive resistance and pull me towards the stairs.  When we reached the stairs, she began to pull me up the stairs and I lessened my resistance in pulling back afraid of pulling us both down the stairs.  I figured I would continue the fight once we were on level ground in the bedroom.

Once we got into the bedroom she pushed me into the room and shut the door behind us.  She stood by the door hands on her hips looking very stern and serious.  I was confused and unsure of myself and my heart was beating in my chest, again as the reality of the situation began to sink in.  At this point a few things became clear to me.  She was intent on spanking me.  For whatever reason she felt that the only way to resolve this conflict was to spank me.  I really did not want to be spanked.  This was not the same as the "grounding" that I suffered while we were still dating.  For one thing, she was not my wife at that point and I have to admit, that fear of losing her motivated me to play along with her.  This was different.  We were married now and we are supposed to be equals.  I did not want to be treated like a child by her no matter how I acted.  Because a part of me did secretly acknowledge that I did screw this up I was reluctant to take s stand and put my foot down.  It is hard to be assertive when you are fundamentally in the wrong, so I appealed to her intellect and suggested other ways for me to make amends for my screw up.

I suggested that I work some extra jobs on the weekend to earn some money to pay the penalty on the taxes, she replied, "I am glad you are starting to show some responsibility for you actions, but this is not about money.  I married you for richer or poorer.  This is about you being immature and irresponsible.  You are finally stepping up to the plate too late because I am forcing you to face the consequences of acting like a child.  I am going to subject you to a child's punishment because you acted like a child.  I am really glad to see you find the prospect of being spanked to be upsetting because it will be more effective this way.  You are going to be spanked and there is little you can do to get out of it.  I am sorry it had to come to this, but hopefully you will learn your lesson and remember this day and grow up so we don't have to do this again.  Now", she paused, "pull your pants down."

The lecture was delivered with calm precision and I found the clarity of her thoughts put me off guard.  It was clear that while my thoughts were bouncing a million different places at once, she was in total control of her thoughts and ideals.  She said there was "little" I could do to avoid the spanking which implied that there was indeed "something" that could be done, but the only idea that came into my head was to physically fight her and hurt her and in spite of my unwillingness to submit to a spanking, that was a step I was unwilling to take so I resorted to the only remaining option that I could conceive of.   I began to beg her not to spank me.

"Please honey, don't spank me."  I heard myself saying.  "I get it, I will grow up and be a better husband, just please don't spank me like a child."

She slowly moved towards me, again, in total control of her thoughts and emotions.  she reached for my belt.  My hands flew to stop her and I pulled back, but she anticipated the move and shoved her hands into the top of my jeans to gain leverage and pulled me back towards her.  She looked me in the eye and simply asked, "do you want to pull down your own pants or shall I continue to undress you?"

"Neither." I replied, "I don't want to be spanked.", but before I could even finished the sentence she was already working at the belt again.  "Come on honey, don't do this." I begged my hands wrapped around her wrists trying to stop her from working my belt open, but in-spite of my resistance, she had unbuckled my belt and was working on the button and zipper.  I tied to crouch over and pull my hips back and away from her while at the same time push her hands away, my  hands still wrapped around her wrists.  She was surprisingly strong and I was unable to push her hands away and she quickly pulled her hands upwards, out then down so fast that she broke free from my grip, again grabbed the tops of my jeans at either side and pulled me closer to her.  "Stop the squirming of I will punish you for that as well."  and before I could react again she had my zipper down and was tugging the pants down to my knees.  Again I tried to pull back but I stumbled, the pants now restricting my movements and as I lost balance I felt her strong hands supporting me and pulling me forward as she backed up to sit on the edge of the bed.   She pulled me over her knees and before I knew it she had me pants down at my knees over her knee and my tighty whitey clad backside exposed to her.  It was at this point that my heart began to race and the confusion of thought changed to the realization that it had happened.  I was about to be spanked and there was little I could do at this point to avoid it.  I tried to reach back, stand back up squirm sideways to slide off her lap, but her grip was much stronger than I would have expected and each move only reminded my how helpless I really was at this point.

She gripped me tight with her left hand and I felt her right hand tugging down my briefs.  "No honey, please don't do this to me, don't spank me.  I get it I get it, please don't do this STOP!"

But my pleading fell on deaf ears and my undies were soon at my knees.  Than without warning CRACK!.  I felt a sudden and sharp sting across my bottom that was clearly not her hand.  I yelped out in pain and was just about to ask what she hit me with when WHACK! it came down again.  I tried to strain and turn to see what she was hitting me with then WHACK, it came down again>  I finally caught a glimpse of the large wooden hairbrush.  I don't know when she placed it on the bed but there is was WHACK, I couldn't believe how much it hurt.  I was being spanked, really spanked, like a child WHACK.  I winced in pain and let out some whimpers and groans and even felt my eyes watering up but I wouldn't say that I was crying.  I kicked, bucked and writhed beneath her grip unable to break free trying to avoid the spanking but each time WHACK, the hairbrush came down and made made contact with my tender bottom and all thoughts of resistance left me.  There was no escape and the spanking continued.  WHACK, WHACK WHACK.  It was a sensation that was difficult to describe. The sting was unique and it spread across my whole bottom and sent shivers up my spine and down my legs, even tough she only concentrated on my bottom.  Just when I thought I was going to lose it and start crying for real.  It stopped.

I laid across her lap not making a move.  The pain was there, it was real.  This was indeed a real spanking, but as the burning in my bottom began to settle down to a dull ache now that the spanking stopper, the realization that I was a grown man laying over my wife's knees, pants and undies now at my ankles having slipped down as a result of my spanking began to invade my thoughts.

I had been spanked.  Spanked like a child.  Water in my eyes on the verge of tears. It would be a spanking I would never.  It was not my first spanking, but it had been the first spanking I have had since I was 12 and in some ways it was the worst spanking I had ever received, but it was not to be my last.

My First Real Spanking Part 1

Well, I would like to thank everyone who waited patiently to hear the story of my first spanking. I think I set enough background information to get an understanding of the dynamic that developed in our relationship.   First off, I don't want anyone to get the impression that my wife is a control freak or that she makes and demands all kinds of strange things, but that said, there were a few things that were made clear to me before we got married.

First, for whatever reason, she preferred that I wear tighty whities instead of boxers.  For the most part, I really didn't have too much of a problem with this as I would have probably worn a thong if I thought it would make me more sexy too her.  The only thing with the white briefs is that I don't get the impression that she is doing it to make me look sexy to her or at least those aren't the reasons she has given me.  She has always claimed that they are more hygienic, cheaper, easier to clean and other pragmatic reasons.  As for herself, she just wears cheap plain white panties so she certainly practices what she preaches.  Does she get sexual pleasure out of seeing me in tighty whities or does she get sexual pleasure out of making me wear them?  I don't know.

Second, while we were dating and during our engagement she dictated when and how we would get intimate with each other.  As the man trying to win my mate I was certainly respectful of her imposed boundaries and tried to show that I was driven by a genuine desire to get to know her and was just not being driven by pure lust.  I worked to control my animal urges to make sure that we got closer emotionally before we got closer physically.   Of course, now that we are married, there are no restrictions on our love making and I can initiate intimacy as much as she can.  Now that we are married we are equals in bed.

Finally, I did submit to her grounding while we were dating.  I mentioned that I was afraid not to take the grounding and one commentator asked what I was afraid of.  Quite honestly, I have never gotten this close to a woman before and I certainly didn't consider the grounding abusive and I was afraid that if she left me I would never find a woman I felt so connected to again.  Since we had become equals with regards to sex (sometimes I lead sometimes she does) I just assumed that incidents like the grounding were an artifact of the dating ritual and were also going to be a thing of the past.  On that note, I found out I was wrong.

I hesitate to share some of these details as I don't want to give away too much personal information, but I think it helps to understand the complete picture.  While we dating I lived in a very small 1 bedroom "house" way out in the out skirts of a large city.  She had an apartment right downtown.  I was making about $75K and she was making $180K.  I don't necessarily consider her smarter or more successful than me but credit her higher salary to the fact that she works in the city where the cost of living is much higher and I work about an hour away where the cost of living is a lot lower.   When we got married we agreed to sell my house and buy a bigger house so we now live in one of the better suburbs about 40 minutes from the city which puts me about 30 minutes from my job, but we have a really nice 4BR, dream house to show for it.

In spite of the fact that she earns more than me, she never once implied that this gave her more authority than me and we always seemed to be equals in any financial decision, but we did have a strict budget as the mortgage and property taxes were pretty hefty compared to what I was paying on the old house (which I acquired when my grandmother past away) but selling it did give us the down payment on the new house.  My wife had some pretty decent savings, but she paid for the wedding so while we didn't count every penny from a financial standpoint we were pretty even despite the salary difference.  Now I did let her set up the budget as she seemed to have better skill at that than I did but we agreed to it mutually.

So far the marriage seemed to be going well and we had a true partnership forming with a strong and loving bond forming between us, but the honeymoon was soon to be over.

It started when the property taxes were coming due.   My wife had written out the hefty check for the property taxes about a week before they were due and left them in an envelope on the counter.   It was a Saturday and I was going out with some friends and she was meeting some of hers.  I was just on my way out saw the envelope and asked her if she wanted me to mail it for her.  She replied that she was going to mail it when she went out later but if I wanted to mail it that would be appreciated.  So I took the envelope tucked it into the visor of my car and planned to drop it off when I drove past the post office.  Now I realize I could have just popped it into the mailbox in front of our house and put the flag up, but I felt safer dropping them into the box at the post office as that is what I usually did with the taxes on my old house.  Anyway before I got to the post office my phone rang.  It was the friend I was on my way to meet and I took the call and because I was distracted with the call I forgot to stop at the post office.  By the time I realized my mistake, I decided I was too close to my friends house so I would just mail the taxes on the way back.  Anyway by the time I was on my way back I had forgotten  the envelope was there.   One week and 3 days later we got a notice from the town about our overdue property taxes and what the new amount due (taxes + penalty ) was and when that was due and what they would be if we missed that date.  I walked in to find my wife holding the letter looking at me confused.  At first she was cursing out the town because 'we had paid these already' and concluded there was a clerical error in the clerk's office.  My heart skipped a beat as I realized the taxes we still sitting in an envelope in the visor of my car.

"Honey", my voice croaked, "actually I forgot to mail the taxes in that day."

She paused looked at me and replied, "What day did you finally mail them?"

"Actually, I just realized they are still sitting on the visor of my car."  She became a little annoyed with me and snapped back.

"How could you have them up there for a week and not remember to mail them?"

I was a little taken back by the accusation so I snapped back, "Look I just forgot, like you never forget anything.  Its no big deal.  We will pay them now, stop making a federal case out of this and chill out.  Here I did you a favor by offering to mail them and instead I get grief from you because I forgot."

Immediately she stood up and walked towards me took a deep breath obviously trying to control the anger building in her then spoke calmly, but firmly, "this is the problem with you.  Every time you make a mistake you look for an excuse.  You never take responsibility for your actions.  It is always someone else's fault or some things else's fault.  You will never improve or get better unless you take responsibility for your actions"

I should of taken the hint, in some ways she was right, I still didn't want to just stand there and take the criticism so I again lashed out and started rambling off excuses starting with how I got distracted with the phone call.  Before I could even finish she lashed out a little less calm this time.

"Wait!", she yelled, "you are actually going to stand here and tell me that the reason the taxes are late is because you were on the cell phone while you were driving?  You are really doing to make that your excuse?  You are not supposed to be using your phone while your driving anyway and now you are admitting to me that is the reason the taxes are late?"

Still not getting it I then launched into a argument about the BS cell phone laws, how I am safe driver, how those laws only exist to make money for the government, blah blah blah.

"Enough!", she really yelled this time.  "you sound like a child with all your excuses.  When are you going to grow up and take responsibility for yourself?  I should take you over my knee and spank your bottom like a naughty boy.  Maybe that would get through to you?"

The words caught me completely off guard.  I don't know if she meant them or not, but they surprised me and I didn't know how to react.  To this day I can't help but wonder if I have just laughed at her and told her how ridiculous that sounded things might not have gone the way they ended up going.  Instead, an image of me laying over my mother knees, a flashback if you will of me laying over my mother's knees pants and underpants at my ankles filled my mind and I stood there silent for just a few seconds.  I believe it was what some of the comments on this board have said was my implied consent, but I was not consenting.  True I didn't immediately protest, but I now believe my moment of silence indicated to her, that she had found something that stopped my back talk and arguing.  It was something that made me stop and think about my actions.  It hit a primal nerve, the same primal nerve my mother was trying to reach (through my backside apparently) whenever all other methods of discipline had failed.  Spanking was never my mother's first choice and I was probably only spanked about 5 times in my childhood, but they were all very memorable experiences.  My wife had either intentionally or accidentally taped into those same experiences to break me from my argumentative mood.

Before I could speak, she continued, "I think a spanking is just what you need to realize how childish you have been behaving."  She grabbed my wrist and started to pull me towards the stairs.  I did pull back and stop her but she yanked on me quickly and I briefly lost my balance and stumbled forward.  She then grabbed my upper arm and told me to go upstairs to our bedroom.

I stood there and replied "No, I am not a child and you are not going to spank me."

She looked back at me and said, "Well, whether you realize it or not you are acting like a child  Trust me, you will be spanked before this night is over.  I want you to be a man but if you are going to act like a child then I am going to treat you like one.  You are going to get a spanking from me and you are going to learn from it."

My mind was going a million miles an hour and was totally confused by the turn of events.  One thing was certain and somehow I knew it at the time.  My wife was right.  Before the night was over, I was going to be spanked.

To be Continued....

Back From The Sick

Well, I am just getting over being sick and haven't had a lot of time to read all the comments and write, but I will start doing that now.

Something interesting happened while I was sick.  On Monday I started feeling nauseous and came home from work early.  By the time my wife came home I had thrown up and was really out of it in bed.  She came in to check on me and found me still in my street clothes so she undressed me down to my briefs and tucked me into bed.  She said I felt very hot then left the room.   When she came back into the room she told me that she figured that since I was throwing up she might need some items from the drug store and then told me she wanted to take my temperature rectally and that she bought an extra digital thermometer that can be used if either of us needed to have a rectal temperature taken.  I was too sick to argue so I let her roll me over and pull my underpants down to my knees.  She took my temperature then announced that it was almost 102,  She then told me she was going to give me an ibuprofen suppository that she also bought at the drug store since I would just throw up anything she gave me by mouth.  I let her do what she needed to do then she pulled my underpants back up and let me sleep.

I woke up the next morning feeling better, but tired and weak and she waited on me hand and foot before heading into her office a little late.  She also wanted to take my temperature again, but this time she went to take it in my mouth as I no longer seemed to be throwing up.     It was just about 100 and she asked if she could think I could tolerate taken an ibuprofen by mouth.  I thought about it but then said, I was worried it would upset my stomach.  She then got the suppositories back out pulled my briefs down and proceeded to administer another dose.

Now here is what I have to admit.  While I was sick I really didn't think too much about what was happening, now that I am better I find the memory of her pulling my pants down to take my temperature and give me a suppository to be, well, erotic.  Looking back on it, I enjoyed it.  I have been thinking about this ever since it happened and I reluctantly have to admit, that there is a submissive streak in me.  I liked her exposing me like that and making me feel all weak and vulnerable in front of her while she took care of me.  I think that was the real reason I took the suppository the second time and was a little disappointed that she took the second temperature orally.

During our sex play, she has "probed" me in that location and I did enjoy that as well, but then I have also "probed" her as well, but that was different, that was sex.  This was not sex and yet I found it erotic.  I believe this is what some of the other people I have read about must feel about being spanked.  So while I have no desired to be spanked (and actually have not been spanked since I started this blog) I wouldn't mind having my temperature taken rectally again, I just don't want to puke my brains out again to get it done.  I still feel a little weak even now.

Anyway, since I know many of you would like to hear about my spankings I will share a few stories with you once I feel a little better.  I will also try to read through and reply to some of your comments.  Thanks.

My First "Punishement"

Well, I think at this point I have given enough background information to set the stage of how our relationship has been developing to discuss my first "punishment."  This is not the story of my first "spanking" but rather a punishment of a different sorts.

First off, before I get into the meat of this story I want to make a few things clear.

Although I have no desire to be spanked or punished in any way, I am conflicted with regards to whether or not I am being "abused."  Yes, I am a man and I realize that unless I somehow desire or enjoy being spanked I should just walk away from this marriage, but a part of me is afraid to do that.  I think this topic is important and sensitive and  deserves its own post. For now I will table this discussion as I definitely have some strong feelings about it and want to make sure I am in the right mood to write it all out.

By now it should be clear that my wife/girlfriend slowly developed my dependence on her.  The commitment to no pre-marital sex, allowing her to decide when, where and how we became more intimate and allowing her to make me switch to briefs from boxers.  I desired none of these things but at the same time did not feel strongly enough about them to walk away from the relationship.  I think she knew this.  I loved her and she loved me.  We really did care for each other and we enjoyed doing so many wholesome and non-sexual things together that are relationship was and is so much more than underwear and spankings.  I only am blogging about these things because I feel it is a very unique situation or at least I have not found anyone else willing to discuss it.

Every other blog I read it is clear that the relationship is driven by some underlying sexual fantasy.  I do not know if my wife gets any sexual pleasure from punishing me.  If she does I have not seen any evidence of it. I read stories of husbands getting spanked every day, sometime severely for minor infractions.  I read of men being forced into panties, dresses or diapers and stories of being tied up, wearing chastity devices, butt plugs or various other punishments.  Clearly the diversity of sexual relations is as diverse as the human race itself and that is just fine as long as both parties do it as consenting adults.

Yes we have an active and healthy sex life and we enjoy each others intimacy in many ways beyond sex.  While we are not prudes I can not say that we rise to the level of the 'kink' in some of these other relationships which is why I am uncertain of the role spanking plays in our sex life.  Certainly anything involving the erogenous zones can be considered sexual, especially between a husband and wife, I don't associate it with sex before, during or after a spanking.

Finally, when I am punished or spanked they are tempered with moderation and caring and a desire to modify behavior.  I am reluctant to admit this, but it is very much they way a parent would punish a child.   Not with a desire to hurt or embarrass, although pain and embarrassment are part of the punishment, but with a desire to improve and modify behavior.  Thinking about it in those terms makes me shudder slightly.  I am her husband, not her child.  She does not treat me like a child, but when she feels I have earned punishment, that is they way it seems to be.

I will certainly come back to these complex themes later, but for now I will share the story of how I was first punished.

First off, what did I do?  Simple, speeding.

We were on our way back from a dinner out.  I was wearing my "lucky briefs" and was hoping that they would bring me luck and there would be some fooling around when we got back to her apartment.  Twice during the drive she had asked me, "How fast are you going?  The speed limit is 45 here and there are some blind curves and some dangerous intersections."  I acknowledged her concern both time, but really wasn't paying attention. Then it happened, the flashing lights in the rear view mirror.

"Where the hell did he come from?" I cursed.

I pulled to the side and rolled down my window.  "I really don't need this shit right now." I bitched, already thinking of the fine, court date, insurance and all the wonderful things that go along with a speeding ticket.  My girl just sat there silently looking straight ahead.  I could tell she was not happy.

I don't get stopped often, in fact I had a pretty clean record at the time with no tickets but I can tell you, the worst time is when you first get stopped and before the officer approaches the window.  You know they are back there either on their computer or radio checking your plate so they have some idea of who they are approaching before they get out of the car.  You sit there waiting to see if the cop is in a good mood or some dickhead with an attitude who just enjoys busting the hump of some poor hapless SOB who innocently violates some obscure traffic law.

Finally the flashlight at the window, "Good evening sir, officer <so and so> with the <blah blah> Police Department.  The reason I stopped you was for your speed.  I clocked you doing 63 in a 45.  Is there any lawful reason for your speed tonight?"

How do you answer a question like that.  I am sure they lawyers know just how to answer that but I went into kiss ass mode.  "No, officer, sorry officer, didn't realize I was going that fast, no excuse etc."

Well it was license, registration, insurance, sit here and I will be right back.

While we were waiting for him to come back I again started complaining, things like, this sucks, money making BS, legal robbery, etc.  stealing from the working people, speed trap etc.  The whole time my girlfriend remained silent.

Again, the flashlight at the window.  "Mr. <yadda yadda>, here is your license, registration, proof of insurance back.  The speed limit on this road is 45.  It is a very dangerous road and just last night we had an accident out here with injuries.  Speed is almost always a factor in these accidents.  I really don't want to be pulling you out of a ditch, but I also don't feel like issuing you a $240 dollar ticket.  Your record is clean so I am going to let you go with a warning, but be more attentive to the speed limit.  I am out here often and if I see you doing 46 out here I am going to stop you and cite you.  Have a good night and drive safely."

Wow, what luck.  I got away with it.  So I drove home and was elated but still complained about the "speed trap" and speculated that perhaps he didn't have a good radar hit so let me go with a warning.  I also complained about him "being out there often" harassing "law abiding citizens"

It was then she finally spoke up, " If you are speeding then you are not a law abiding citizen."

The accusation and sudden breaking of the silence caught me off guard.  "What are you going to compare speeding with murder?  And like you never speed.?"

She raised her voice a slight tone of anger in it, "I don't know the last time we had a murder here, but more people get killed in car accidents, so yes I will compare it with murder.  Yes, I do exceed the posted speed limit sometimes, perhaps doing 70 on the interstate where it is only 65 or maybe doing 50 in a 40, but doing 63 in a 45 on a road that I already told you twice was dangerous?  You don't get it do you?  This is not about a speed trap, this is about you not taking responsibility for your actions.  It is not the cop's fault for stopping you.  Its yours for driving like a jerk.  I bet you a dozen cars past him at 50 or even 55 miles an hour before you came zooming by at 63.  Then he gives you a warning thinking you are a reasonable person who would learn from this experience, but instead your still complaining about it.  Don't go to my house, lets drive to yours instead."

We sat there silently as I finished the ride home.  I was not sure why she wanted to go to my house.  When I had my car we usually went to her house and after we "spent the night" I would drive myself home.  I am not sure that this turn of events meant, but somehow I wasn't feeling "lucky" anymore.  When we got to my house, she got out and we both walked up and went in.  As soon as we were inside, she ordered me to "sit down" so I did while she stood over me.

I then got re-lectured on taking responsibility, safe driving, respect for the law, even if I didn't agree with it  but the worst was when she finished with, "and putting my life in danger."  That last part hurt.  I would never put her life in danger, would I?

"So here is the deal.", she started,  "Since you got away with a warning, but apparently didn't learn your lesson I am going to punish you."  What did I here that right?  "You are grounded.  You are going to give me your car keys and I am going to drive myself home.  You may leave the house only to go to work tomorrow and you will either take a taxi or the bus as I won't be able to drive you tomorrow I have a meeting to go to   If you want to I will pick you up after work and drive you home or you may take a taxi or bus again.  Just call me and let me know what you plan to do.  I can drive you to and from work the rest of the week.  Any questions?"

In looking back it is hard to say how I felt.  This was clearly a test and the "any questions" statement at the end was the time for me to tell her to get lost and call a cab for herself and never call me again.  I am sure that is exactly what any other man would have done.  Who the hell did she think she was telling me I was grounded like a teenager?  The problem was, I loved her and knew she loved me.  She was clearly angry and at that moment in time I reluctantly admitted she was not entirely wrong.  I should have been more grateful for the warning I got, but what really stopped me from telling her to take a hike and refusing to play along was the "endangering her life" comment.  I certainly had no intention of hurting her or myself for that matter.  I know we all feel that accidents happen to other people, no one deliberately gets into an accidents, that's why they are called accidents.  I guess otherwise they would be called purposes.  I sat there thinking about her "request" and at the time I did see it as a request and not an order and decided to comply with her request.

I handed her the keys and said, "OK, if this is what it is going to take to make you feel better than fine, I am 'grounded' for how long?"

"A week.  Until then, its work then right home.  You are not to leave this house except in a life threatening emergency otherwise you call me and I will let you know if you can leave the house."

So for the next week, she drove me back and forth to work, except for that first day.  personally, I don't really think she wasn't able to drive me that first day, I think that was part of the punishment to take a cab.   She drove me to the grocery store once to let me get food for the week, but other than that she drove me home, dropped me off and I sat in my house the whole week not being together with her.   When she picked me up at the end of the week she handed me the keys and said, "You can drive me to my apartment."

I drove over to her apartment very carefully obeying every law We spent the night together in her apartment.  Good thing I remembered to wear my lucky underpants.

Boxers or Briefs?

First off, let me state that as far as I am concerned there is a reason that underwear manufactures make so many different kinds of underwear for men.  You have boxers, briefs, boxer-briefs, bikini briefs, thongs (yes I am sure there are some men who wear thongs) all in a variety of colors and fabrics.  When I was a kid everyone wore tighty whities except for old men and fat kids who wore boxers.  Funny how times have changed and it is great that today there is a lot of variety to choose from.  Whatever type of underwear you choose for yourself is absolutely fine and you should not be embarrassed or ashamed of whatever choice YOU make even if that choice is ridiculous.  If you need a laugh check out these 9 ridiculous underwear designs at the following website.

http://www.underwearexpert.com/2013/04/9-ridiculous-underwear-designs/

So this blog is not about boxers being better than briefs or that tighty whities are for losers.  This is about the choice of underwear that I get to wear being made for me.  As you know by now if you have been reading along, I had a preference for boxers.  Yes I will admit that that decision was influenced by the consensus opinion that briefs are not cool and boxers are cool.  I already felt a little "awkward" and "geeky" when I was a teenager and felt I needed all the help I could get.  Perhaps in some twist of irony you need to be really cool to get away with wearing tighty whities and I was never that cool.

I felt like I was "tricked" into making the switch to tighty whities by my then girlfriend.  As we continued to date and began fooling around more and more in what I now call our "pre-marital foreplay." My girlfriend made it clear there would be no "pre-marital sex" and I was glad that in her definition sex only included "intercourse."  I found this kind of play rather enjoyable as it was certainly better than me just jerking off alone.  So far our play had consisted of exploring each other's naked bodies, but we were never naked at the same time, as well as masturbating each other, but again, never at the same time.

One day she suggested that we should try to masturbate together.  I though this was an interesting twist.  She explained that she just wanted to make sure that we were careful to keep my "products" away from her vagina (she was not on birth control at the time).  In order to "maintain the separation of powers"  (yes that is the exact term she used and I found it both humorous and interesting) I should wear underpants to help contain my sperm.  I figured, OK, that sounds like it would work for me.  She then brought out a bag that contained a package of 7 Hanes white briefs.  She explained that I should put on the briefs as they would help contain my ejaculation better and that plain white briefs could be easily bleached and cleaned.  It was a logical proposition and she made it while I was facing the opportunity to mutually masturbate with her so I agreed.

So I undress and put on the brand new clean white briefs.  They felt strange on me after years of wearing boxers and while I felt I looked ridiculous in them I didn't care as it was just me and my soon to be naked girlfriend with me.  She undressed but kept her panties on so there was an "extra" layer of clothing.  We laid down next to each other and after some kissing, cuddling and caressing she eventually reached inside my briefs and I reached inside her panties.  We tried to time it so that we went at the same time, but she actually went before me and then I went about 30 seconds after that.  She carefully pulled her hand out of my underpants and I pulled mine out of hers.  She asked me to lay on my back and she would be right back.

She went into the bathroom and I heard the water running and she washed her hands.  She came with a wash cloth then slowly peeled my new undies off then proceeded to wipe me down with the washcloth.  I found that attention to be very enjoyable.  She patted my dry with a towel.  Then she grabbed one of the other pairs of briefs and was about to put them on me when I spoke up and asked her for my boxers instead.  She smiled and told me I should put these back on so we could be ready to do it again spontaneously.  I considered this for a moment then agreed.

So I quickly learned that if I was with her and wearing boxers there was no activity but if I was wearing briefs then we often fooled around either mutually of at least she jerked me off.  In fact there was one time when I had brought her to climax but when she went to return the favor she discovered I was wearing boxers so she just gave me a kiss and said, "maybe next time."  Well of course, like Pavel's dogs salivating at the sound of the bell I began to make sure I was always wearing briefs when I was with her.  Eventually she bought me more and slowly but surely I had been tricked into switching to briefs.   I now wear then almost exclusively in that it is really the exception to the rule (see The Doctor Will See You Now to see what I mean.)

Anyway, like I said, boxers or briefs?  The choice is yours or in my case the choice was hers.  Why she wants me to wear briefs beyond what she has told me; cheaper, easier to clean, etc.  I really don't know.

Now in my next post I will tell the story of how I was first "punished" by her.  Not a spanking but some other sort of punishment as this relationship develops.  Thanks for staying tuned.

Show Me Yours And I Will Show You Mine.... Later.

I continue in this post with some more stories from our dating years to help readers understand the dynamics of our relationship.

As we continued to date and get to know each other, our relationship did begin to become more intimate. At the time my girlfriend had already indicated that she wished to remain a virgin until marriage but I was unsure how far she would go before we crossed the line in her head.  In someways, looking back on it, it was kind of exciting and interesting how she would slowly "up the intimacy level" but it was always she that would decide how far we would go.  So even long before that first spanking it was clear that she would be setting the standards for what was acceptable and unacceptable behavior.  I had just assumed at the time the consequences for failing to meet the standards would have been termination of the relationship.  I never would have expected the consequences to be a bare bottom spanking.  

I remember the first time we moved beyond kissing.  It was a day just like any other day (well Saturday to be exact, but you know what I mean.)  We spent the day out hiking in the woods and when we got back to her apartment she suggested we both take showers and wash the sweat off of us.  She went first while I watched some TV.  She came out dressed in jeans and a T-Shirt then sent me into take a shower.  I finished and came out in a pair of sweat pants and a T-Shirt.  I then sat down next to her on the couch. 

Now the two of us both smelling clean and fresh started with the hugging, kissing and caressing and other totally PG rated activities.  After a while she stood up looked down at me on the couch, smiled and asked me to follow her to the bedroom.  Well my penis immediately became rock solid (it was already at half-staff from all the kissing) and my heart started pounding in my chest.  Was all this virgin talk just BS to see if I would stick by her side.  I followed her to her bedroom and my eyes were glued to her buttocks in her tight fitting jeans.  It was all happening so suddenly that I was besides myself with lust.  We got to the bedroom and she asked me to lay down on the bed so I did. 

I laid on my back on her bed and propped myself up on my elbows.  My penis was pushing up a tent in the front of my sweats and I blushed with the sign of my obvious excitement at these turn of events.  She sat down next to me just at my waist and without hesitation she reached out and gently grabbed the bulge in my pants.  

"And just what do we have here?", she mockingly asked.   I had no idea how to respond to that.  I was at this point still a little embarrassed about the size of my genitalia that I wasn't sure if she was making fun of it or just being playful.  I really had no response and I am glad I didn't try to say anything because I am sure it would have been something stupid.   I just looked at her and gulped as she gently squeezed the bulge in my pants My heart pounding and my penis throbbing unsure of where this was all leading. 

"I think we have been dating long enough that it is time I took a look at what you have between your legs.  Lay back  and let me take a look at you."

Excited by the sudden escalation in our relationship I laid back and enjoyed the attention I was getting.   She released her hand from the bulge in my pants and placed her hands on either side of my sweatpants and slowly began tugging them down.  My heart raced in my chest as my sweat pants slowly began their descent down past the bulge, down my legs past my knees, to my ankles and finally all the way off.

I shudder at the sudden and unexpected exposure as I now laid there in my boxer shorts (yes still in boxers at that time) which were tented up just like my sweats.  Again her hands moved and she gently squeezed the bulge in my boxers and this time I felt the heat from her hand with only the thin material of the boxers between us.  She then peeled my boxers down and left them at my knees.  I laid there eye shut waiting for her hand to return to my penis and feel her bare flesh on my throbbing erection, but it did happen right away so I slowly opened my eyes.

She sat there starring at it and when she saw my eyes opened she looked at me and smiled.

"You have a cute penis, I like it."

At first I was embarrassed by the word 'cute' in that I always associate that word with the word 'little' but I nonetheless swallowed hard and said, "Thanks",  my voice creaking with nervousness and excitement wondering what would happen next.  I stared at her crotch imagining what she must look like and I suddenly felt a strong desire to reach out and start unbuckling her belt but I hesitated waiting for a signal from her as to what we were supposed to do next.

Her hand slowly started moving towards my crotch but instead of grabbing my penis she placed it on my leg then slowly started moving it up and over my belly then slowly down into my pubic hair but stopping just short of my pulsating penis.  I squeezed my eyes breathing in and out slowly while my heart pounded in my chest.  Her hand then began moving again but it was heading back up my belly and under my shirt to my chest.  She leaned over and kissed my very passionately on the lips and then without warning I felt her other hand gently touch my throbbing penis and I gasp at the unexpected touch.   She released her lip and leaned back up.

She gently squeezed and stroked my penis then reached down and took my testicles in her hand closed her hand over them ever so gently, not so much to cause pain, but perhaps to make me feel weak and vulnerable before her.  I remain very still in this compromising position and waited until she released her grip and moved her hand away.

She spent about the next 5 minutes exploring the front of my body and then once again leaned down and kissed me then stood up and told me I could get dressed and she would go make dinner for us.  She then turned and left leaving me overexcited and amazed that this all ended so quickly without me so much as getting a chance to place my hands on her.   Part of me just wanted to grab my penis right then and there are stoke it until I had an orgasm, but eventually the erection went down with the disappointment that all the attention it was getting just suddenly ended.

I finally got dressed and went into the kitchen where she was making dinner.  I swallowed hard and walked up behind her placed my hand on her shoulder and when she turned to face me I leaned over and gave her a nice open mouth kiss on the lips.

When I leaned back up she smiled at me and asked, "So did you like that?"

"Kinda", I replied, "when do I get to do the same to you?"  I asked.

"When I am ready",  She replied.  "If you don't want me doing that to you I understand, but I am not ready for you to see me naked yet.  Do you want me to not do that to you again?"

"No, I guess its OK.  I was just wondering that's all."  I replied.  In spite of the fact that I was sexually frustrated, I reluctantly had to admit that this was already farther than I have ever gotten with a previous girl friend.  It was clear she was teasing and testing me, but it was also clear that we got along so well.  We really enjoyed each others company and we really cared deeply about each other well being.  The relationship felt good and wholesome and it was also clear that while she wanted to remain a virgin to marriage it was also clear that she was not a prude and that there was going to be some fooling around.  It was almost like our dating and engagement was going to be month long foreplay before the intercourse that would come once we were married.  I was not totally against the idea.

I went back to my apartment later that night where I stripped down completely naked and started to jerk off. Once it felt like I was getting close to orgasm I stopped and laid there my whole body tingling and I imagined her standing over me fully clothed and telling me "not yet."  I laid there for about a half hour not touching myself before my erection finally went down.  I decided to wait a little longer to see what would happen the following night when we got back together.  It was 3 days before she explored my body again.  A few days after that she was once again exploring my body but that time, she had me on my stomach as she explored and at once point even went so far as to press one of her fingers up against my anus.  Eventually she would insert a finger into my rectum and pretend to check my prostate.  

It went on like this for about 5 weeks before I was finally allowed to explore her body.    When I was allowed to explore her body I had to keep my clothes on and when she explored mine she kept her clothes on.  This went on for about 5 more weeks before the first time she brought me to orgasm, but it was later that same day when I had brought her to her orgasm.  Our relationship had definitely progressed to a deeper intimacy.

I know this story doesn't talk much about spanking but I now look back and realize how she was creating a leadership role for herself.  She was not being mean, cruel or inhuman and I actually did enjoy being teased like that and it made our activities exciting.  I want to share one or two more anecdotes before I get to that first spanking.  One is the day she made me switch from boxers to tighty whities.  The other is the first day I feel like she "punished" me although not with a spanking.  I think these will both help you to understand the complete picture of how our relationship developed and what my mindset was the day I first got spanked.

As always, comments are welcome and appreciated.  If I feel that my audience has lost interest, I may just stop writing so  please take a moment to comment, even if it is an anonymous comment just so I know that if I continue to write it will be read by an appreciative audience.  

The Doctor Will See You Now.

If you recall from the "Friends Visit and Talk of Underwear" post I was concerned about wearing my briefs to my upcoming physical.  My wife tried to convince me I was being silly and I was expected to wear my briefs to my physical exam.  Well I had my physical exam yesterday and I wanted give just a quick note for those who may be curious, I chickened out. I purchased boxers the day before and wore them to the doctor's appointment.   This isn't an actual picture of them, but this is what they look like. I actually think they look pretty good.

My wife never found out and like I said, I don't think I would have been spanked for that, she is not the kind of wife that goes looking for excuses to spank me.   She would however, make me feel silly for being so embarrassed about it.  While I haven't yet discussed the details of this yet, this would be one more character flaws that she says I have which lead to the reasons for me being spanked and why she gets to spank me and not the other way around.  Again, I didn't discuss the details yet and want to make sure I take the time to explain it correctly, but there are reasons why she says I need to be spanked by her.  So I guess a little hint of things to come.  Not wearing briefs to my appointment is not a reason for me to be spanked, but the character flaw it reveals is the reason I have to be spanked when I commit offenses that are spank-able offenses.   I know you know what these look like, but decided to post the picture anyway.  Again, this is not of me, but this is the type of underwear I wear now and the picture looks pretty close to the way I would like in my briefs.   I shudder just looking at this and imagining this was me waiting for the doctor.   

Don't tell me I am being silly or stupid for feeling this way, we can't help to feel the way we feel and even though the intellectual part of me said it shouldn't matter the emotional part of me said it does.  To me tighty whites imply either "little boy" or "old man" and I guess I don't want to see myself as either.  It is OK that my wife has convinced me to wear them normally, but I don't see why I can't have boxers for those few occasions when I need to be seen in my underwear.

Anyway, I did start writing about a few more incidence during our dating years and I hope to finish them and post them in a few days.  I haven't yet started writing about the first spanking yet, but I will. 

I wanted to let everyone know that in the interest of full disclosure I will be taking some artistic liberties with the next few stories in that while the facts of the story will be true, I have decided to add details to the stories that may or may not be 100% accurate.  My intention is to relate the story as best I can remember it, but I want to provide colorful details that I just simply do not remember to make the story more interesting.  For example, I will remember she pulled down my pants, but I might say she unbuckled my brown belt and pulled down my red pants.  I may not remember what color pants I was wearing, but adding that to make the story more interesting doesn't change the fundamental truths of the story.  

Just wanted everyone to know that a head of time.  I hope to be posting these stories soon.  

A "Little" About Me

As I start getting into more details about my history I realize that some people will want to know about me and my wife physically.

While given the nature of what I am discussing I have strong desire to remain anonymous, but I suppose some details are in order to help put some of the future posts into perspective.

First off, I do not consider myself 'well endowed'.  In fact I used to consider myself 'small' and was very embarrassed about the size of my genitals.   This is where the internet can come in handy.   I would search on penis size and after careful research I came to the conclusion that I was indeed below average in the size department, but not as far below average as I had originally thought.  When you search for and find real pictures of real men's penises the truth comes out.

Now that said, I would measure and remeasure my penis until I came up with what I thought were good measurements and came up with the following:

Flaccid length 2.5" Flaccid circumference 3"

Erect length 5.3" Erect circumference 4.1"

If you are obsessive over such things there is a website where you can go to compare yourself with other men called

http://www.thevisualiser.net

You can enter your measurements and the site will generate a pretty good visual representation of you penis size and compare it with other members (I just realized how funny that is "members").  I would have though that some people might exaggerate the size of theirs but apparently there is a way to send in pictures of your penis and be certified by the site owner.  I didn't do that so I guess I have an unverified penis.

Anyway, I am not sure if the following picture makes me feel better or worse but the below picture is the computer generated comparison of my penis to an "Average" penis.  Mine is the one on the left and it is a pretty good representation of what I look like.  The one on the right is the "Average" penis.  I am not sure if this picture makes me feel better.   I am definitely smaller, but not as bad as I would have imagined.

Anyone who is interested in how they stack up should check out the site.  So this puts me slightly below average and I will tell you while I have seen some pretty big ones on the internet I have also seen some pretty tiny ones, so I don't feel all that bad.  It does look like mine is a much thinner than average even though the length is average.  In addition, it looks like most of the small penises I see on the internet are from fat people where probably a good portion of the the penis is buried in the fat.

Of course this was reassuring to me because in my mind this is what I was expecting.

So I guess my real penis isn't that much smaller than average.  So when I get a visual of what my real size to a real average I felt a little better.  Apparently the fact that this site exists shows me that I can't be the only one who is obsessive over his penis size.

 I also noted that while my erect penis seems to be only slightly below average my , my flaccid penis appears to be real tiny and small and can get to even less than 1" when cold (SHIRNKAGE!) and my scrotum can be draw up real small and tight up to my body.  There are tools on the site to make these comparisons too so you can go to the site and play what if like I did above.

As for non penile dimensions,  I stand about 5'4" and weigh about 130 lbs.  So yes I am on the small side overall.

Now my wife, stands about 5'6" so while she is technically taller than me, it is not by so much that it gets noticed. Even tough she is not reading this blog I wouldn't dare to post her weight even if it was anonymous.   She is very muscular, has relatively small breasts, tends to work out a lot and is physically stronger than me, but she is not butch or tomboyish at all.  While we do enjoy bike riding, hiking and other outdoor activities, she also can be very gentle and sweet and very feminine.  She like flowers and crafts and all those girlie things and while she enjoys outdoor activities, she is not much into watching sports.  She will wear jeans and t-shirts but is also not against wearing a nice dress or blouse when the occasion calls for it.

Now, why did I spend a whole post talking about my penis size?  I wanted to share my concerns about my perceived tiny penis as this insecurity became a factor between me and my wife (girlfriend) at the time as we started to become more intimate.  My feelings of inadequacy about my penis size, while mainly unfounded, may have left me open to feelings of inadequacy in other areas so that when I first had to be spanked by her I ultimately had to submit to it in spite of the strong protest and resistance I put up at the first spanking.

I will continue to provide more background as I think it helps in understanding where I am today.  I hope those few of you who have already discovered this blog remain patient while I work through these details and get to the more interesting parts of the story.

Again, please post a comment, even if it is just a quick "Hi."  I just want to make sure there is interest before I spend a lot of time writing this all up.

Once Upon A Time.

Well, with the first two posts I had jumped into the present and I ranted on what was on my mind at the time.  I now decided to settle down and give a little history of how I got to where I am today.

I will start back when we were dating.  We had been going out for a few weeks and had just come back from a dinner and a movie when she invited me into her apartment.  We sat down on the couch and said she wanted to speak with me and have a serious discussion.

She then told me that she was a virgin and that she intended to stay that way until she was married.  She said she was telling me this because so far she really liked me and that she saw a deeper and stronger relationship developing and that we would probably become "more intimate" with each other, but if I was expecting to have intercourse with her, that was not going to happen.  I must admit that the conversation caught me by surprise and in some ways it was refreshing to see that there were still young woman who felt this way.  At the time, I was still a virgin too, but for me it was not because I had any strong conviction to remain pure until my wedding day, it was just that to date I had been unable to find a woman willing to let me go all the way with her.  I gulped and realized that I could be truthful with her and tell her I was still a virgin, but not necessarily let her know why and perhaps she would respect me for it.

So I asked her, "would you believe me if I said that I too was still a virgin?"

She replied, "Are you?"

"Yes", I said.

"Why would you think that I would not believe you?"

"Well," I paused tossing the words in my mind, "it just seems like no one our age is a virgin anymore.  It seems like everyone has done it by now."  I immediately regretting using the phrase 'done it' but it seemed to go unnoticed.

She smiled and said, "That is exactly what society wants you to believe.  There are a lot of people our age who are holding this back until they are married.  Yes, there are lots of people who have 'done it' by now, but there are just as many who a willing to wait so that when they do 'do it' they can know that is something truly special that they are sharing with each other."

She then leaned across and gave me a kiss on the lips.  She looked up into my eyes placed a hand on my cheeks and kissed me again only this time I felt her tongue pressing its way gently into my mouth.  She smiled at me and said, "like I said, I want to become 'more intimate' with you.  Just want you understand that it will not include intercourse.

Well, given my past history with women I saw no reason to argue over the offer.  Even kissing was more action than I was getting with my hand at night, so I smiled and just said, "Understood."

It was a sweet an innocent moment in the dating life of a young couple, but looking back, it was probably also the first hint that my then future wife would be gently molding my behavior and when I failed to respond to that gently persuasion she would resort to more punitive methods.

We spent the rest of the night on the couch kissing and cuddling and I left with a raging hard on.  When I got home I stripped completely naked and slowly stroked my self to orgasm while I relived the kissing from the evening and I found it one of the better jerk off session I had in a while.  It was then I realized that having an emotional attachment to someone beyond the physical attraction that I would get from watching porn made for a more intense experience.  I wiped myself up put my boxers and t-shirt on then went to bed.  In spite of the good release I had before bed, I woke up with a morning boner as thoughts of her came back into my head.  Of course you know how this story turns out, but even for me at that time I had the thought that I was probably going to marry this woman someday and it would be worth waiting for that day to have intercourse. Until then, jerking off was going to feel really good.

A Friends Visit And Talk Of Underwear

I just finished re-reading my own first post and realized, that it really reflects what was on my mind at the time and I  failed to give the story of how I got here in the first place.  I think it would be helpful to those who have stumbled onto this blog to have the history here as it may help them understand how I got to where I am.  It will take some time to write all that up and I will probably do it over a few posts, but while you are waiting for me to write all that up I figured you needed an up date so I decided to post a quick update of what happened since my last post

My wife's friend came over and I was on my absolute best behavior. While I was nervous and scared the whole time the visit ended without any spanking private or otherwise. While I realize many of the men reading this would probably be disappointed that I was not spanked in front of my wife's friend, I for one am very relieved. I was terrified the whole visit and walked on eggshells to make sure I didn't do anything even remotely naughty. My wife praised me at the end of the visit and said, that is the kind of behavior she expects every time her friend comes over. Like I said, the thought of being spanked in front of her friend was unbearable for me. I know some of you would have enjoyed it, but not me. I really don't want to be spanked in front of her friend. Actually, I don't want to be spanked at all.

 I don't enjoy being spanked by my wife, get no sexual satisfaction from it like some of you do and I do everything I can to avoid getting spanked. It does not appear my wife goes out of her way to find excuses to spank me, does not do "maintenance" spankings like I have read about. My spankings are few and far between and when I do get them they hurt, but they are not brutal. Because this was not sexual or role playing, I presumed that this was not consensual, but as I thought about it I came to realize that while I was truly being punished and hated it, I did accept it. So while this may not be a choice we made together I guess you can say that I have granted a passive consent and I either need to continue to except her as head of household or leave her. Right now as long as the spankings seem to be fair and just without excessive abuse I guess I have no choice but to accept my role. 

Now just in case anyone is curious. I realized my wife is fair and not excessively abusive, so I felt that if I explained my embarrassment about wearing briefs for my physical she would understand and allow me a pair of boxers. She listened to me sympathetically, but, she just thought I was being silly. Sorry guys, again I know many of you would have liked it if she spanked me for even suggesting it, but like I said, she is not like that. She spent a half hour reassuring me that the doctor or nurse couldn't care less what type of underwear that I had on. She was not mad, but tried to comfort me and told me not to worry about such silly things and that underwear was underwear and that I would have a gown on through most of the exam anyway. 

I can't say I am not still embarrassed or nervous about it, I don't think I would get spanked if I disobeyed her and wore boxers, but now she made me feel ridiculous for even being worried about it. So anyway,  I will be going to my physical in my briefs. In fact, unknown to me until we talked  she bought me a brand new package of white briefs just to make sure I had new and clean ones to wear that day. Anyway, again not happy, but I can see my wife being fair and not abusive. She would never make me wear pink boxers or women's panties. I should be happy that I at least get to wear men's underwear. 

Well like I promised at the beginning, there is a lot of history of how I got to this point.  It really goes back to when we first started dating.  I want to do a good job of writing this up, so please be patient and I will post it in little snippets so you won't have to wait too long.  

Now I will let you know the following while you are waiting. 

I was wearing boxers while we were dating and I was never spanked (not even as a little boy) until after we were married.  So while I was not expecting to be spanked as her husband, there were certain expectations she had of our marriage that we discussed prior to our wedding.  My first spanking was certainly a day to remember and I hope you find the story interesting.

In the meantime, if you have any questions, just post comments and I will be happy to reply.  

A Man REALLY Punished by his Wife

Hi and welcome to my blog.  I decided to start this blog as I have been married for 2 years and in a very unique relationship,.  At first, when I searched the web I found lots of talking about "Domestic Discipline Relationship" where the female is "in charge" and "punishes" her husband.  At first I came to the conclusion that this was exactly the situation that I was in.  However, the more I read and looked into this the more I realized this was not really the case with me.  

I would like to share a few items in our history and then share some stories with you about incidents over the past 2 years.  To be honest, I would love to be able to share my issues and concerns with a therapist but am simply too embarrassed to speak to one in person.  So to start the blog I will just give some random background information then follow up with stories once I know people have discovered this blog and are interested. 

It is hard to say if I am in a "Domestic Discipline" relation or not. From what I have read, those relationships seem to be consensual  I also wouldn't say that I am in a BDSM relationship as those relationship seem to have some sort of sexual component to them. 

What happens to me is that my wife has complete control over me, but it is neither consensual or sexual. She will punish me occasionally with hard, bare bottomed spankings when she feels that I deserve it and she has certain requirements that she demands of me that make me very uncomfortable. I wouldn't say that I feel abused, but I wouldn't say that it is consensual either. I feel really small and helpless when she punishes me this way, I really don't want to be spanked by her, but at the same time, I submit to her because I have grown to see her as the "adult" in the house. I no more want to be spanked then I would presume a child wants to be spanked, but I also feel that I have no choice and can't resist.   

Because of this, the fact that I accept her authority and submit to her discipline I guess in a way I am "consenting" The problem I have with this when reading all the other blogs and stories out there, clearly the couple gets aroused by the discipline and it is clearly part of the sexual bonding of the couple.  That is not the case with me.
  
My spankings are very infrequent as in general I am well behaved (I am adult after all.) but when I mess up, its into our bedroom, pants and underpants down and over her knee for either the back of hairbrush or the ruler. It hurts and I tear up, but I would not call it crying. My spankings average about once a month. I know I have read blogs and groups looking for men in a similar situation as me, but none of them seem to be exactly the same. I am not spanked for sexual arousal.  She claims she needs to punish me because I still act immature and if I misbehave I have no right to refuse her orders to submit to punishment. She says spankings are the ideal punishment as it create a little pain and much embarrassment and since I really hate them they have the desired effect or getting me to change my behavior.  

Again, I take no pleasure in this and get no sexual arousal from it, but reluctantly will do as I am told.  So the only "consent" I am giving is in the fact that I acknowledge that I have screwed up, I am sorry for it, but I don't see why I have to be spanked like a child.  

There are two other things that really bother me. One is, she refuses to allow me to wear boxers and demands that I only wear white fruit of the loom briefs. She claims that they are simply cheaper then boxers (which they are) and that they are better for hygiene in the event that I don't wipe properly. She states that simple white briefs can be bleached which is better for killing any germs on them.  She also states that since we are married I shouldn't be trying to impress anyone with my underwear and that simple white briefs serve well for the intended purpose and that anything else is unnecessary. To be fair she does practice what she preaches.  She wears simple white panties for all the same reasons she makes me wear white briefs.

To be honest, I have no problems with tighty whities and would gladly wear them 99% of the time. The only time I want to be allowed boxers is when I go to my doctor for my annual physical which is taking place in two weeks. I know I am being silly, but the thought of having to strip to my TWs in front of the nurse and doctor is just too embarrassing for me.  It is also the only time when her, no one should see my underwear, argument is invalid. I actually thought about sneaking a pair of boxers into the house then changing into them before I go to the doctor, even if it means finding a public restroom to change in before my appointment.  I should be allowed to wear boxers to my doctor's appointment if I so choose. I understand the cost issue, but what is the big deal of having one pair for the special occasions like this. If I have to wear TWs to please her, I wish she would at least allow me boxers for my physical. I am thinking about asking her for permission to wear the boxers but I am just a little afraid she will say no and if she does then sneaking a pair in might be more difficult.  

The second thing that has me real concerned is next week she will be having a girl friend of hers over. Last time her friend was over I said something I shouldn't have to her. She got annoyed with me and when her friend left she took me upstairs and of course I was spanked. Yesterday, she warned me that if I acted like that again when her friend was over, she was not going to wait for her to leave. Instead she was going to pull my pants and undies down in front of her friend and spank me right then and there. 

Now I have been a nervous wreck since wondering if she really would do it or if it was just a threat to make sure I didn't repeat my childish behavior from the last visit. I certainly have no intention of finding out and she is not one to make up transgressions or excuses to spank me. She does it so infrequently it doesn't look like she is looking for any excuse to spank me. I am sure I will be OK next week, but the thought that somehow this situation would be revealed to another person really scares me. 

I am so confused  I can understand role play as a sexual thing, but that is not what is going on here and I am not sure what to do. I am really worried about having to go to the doctors in my white briefs and I am really worried about her girl friend coming over next week. 

Men reading this board. Does this sound right to you?

Ladies, your taking charge of your husbands is consensual right?  This should be a sex thing between a couple where one is only pretending to be in charge and the other a naughty little boy who needs to be punished    Am I the only one truly under the control of his wife? Would you allow me boxers for my physical? After all, I accept my wife's discipline but what happens in the bedroom should stay in the bed room right?


Now I will be happy to share what happened regarding my physical and what happened when my wife's friend came over, but I would like to know if anyone is reading this yet before I take the time to post an update, so please provide comments as I intend to write this blog to help me deal with the strange life I am living, so all comments are appreciated. 

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog.